Recent and related (and heartbreaking):<p><i>Starting Hospice</i> - <a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41157974">https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41157974</a> - Aug 2024 (116 comments)
A bit over a year ago I lost a dear friend, while his girlfriend was pregnant.<p>The feeling of seeing something the person will never use again is soul wrenching. I wept when I read the line "No salt. No salt means that he’s not cooking. He’ll never cook again."<p>The child is a ray of light for me whenever I see it, I hope the family can find a little comfort in this piece of him that will be brought into the world.<p>I have followed this story for a while now and wish the family a brighter path in the future. Thank you for focussing my thoughts on what is important, instead of the daily tech grind.
Damn - this + the hospice piece really hits home.<p>My dad is rapidly loosing his battle with ALS. He has always loved to cut grass. He has very limited mobility (in some ways he is lucky, most people with late stage ALS are basically paralyzed. His progression is respiratory focuses so he is loosing the ability to breath faster than the ability to walk) but with some assistance has still been able to use my zero turn mower and get a little joy out of cutting my grass.<p>Just this Sunday he reached the point where he can't cut anymore...I guess he is out of salt :'(
This is written in focus mode. Once you're out of that, remember to grieve. So, so important. I can't imagine my brother dying, love and prayers to you and his family.
I don’t think there are any modern startup “inventions” which bother me more than meal replacements like Soylent. It’s not that there’s something wrong with having a nutrition shake to replace a meal if you’re in a rush.<p>It’s more that food, cooking, and eating (alone and with other people) seem like some of the most human things you can do. And so trying to optimize them out of existence feels wrong, a crime against culture. Long after the AIs have replaced entire classes of jobs and hobbies, cooking will still be around.
I, like many others here on HN, have been following Jake Seliger’s difficult road for the past few years. Thankfully from afar, as I can't imagine what he (or his family) must be going through. But getting email updates, seeing his blog pop up on here every now and then, it's become comforting and familiar, and a symbol of hope: that he's still kicking.<p>I really hope his wife (or brother, or both) will continue writing after he moves on.
Man. As someone who also expresses love through food that hit way fucking harder than I was expecting.<p>RIP Jake. May heaven have the most extravagant spice cabinet waiting for you.
I have a little brother. And while I would say we are close, I always wonder how he feels about me. I was not nice to him growing up, and it created a lot of resentment. One day I apologized to him about it, and I remember him seeing tear up out of the corner of my eye.<p>The day that I think changed our relationship we went on a hike together. While we were driving there he had a bunch of anxiety about it, and wanted to back out. I managed to convince him to come with me and just let all his feelings out; he just yelled at me the entire drive there about a lot of different things. Including my treatment of him.<p>That hike to this day was the best I've ever been on. Everybody has a different relationship with their brother, but I genuinely do not and cannot imagine this existence without mine. He understands me in ways that nobody else does. He gets my jokes that nobody else does. Having a brother you are close with just _almost_ proves you don't die alone.
If life is a river and your heart is a boat<p>And just like a water baby, baby born to float<p>And if life is a wild wind that blows way on high<p>Then your heart is Amelia dying to fly<p>Heaven knows no frontiers<p>And I've seen heaven in your eyes - Mary Black
Last week we lost our Boston terrier. A chronic illness turned acute. What I thought was a routine trip to the vet turned into The Talk.<p>I held our little girl as the vet helped her go to sleep and told her: “It’s ok. You can rest now. We love you so much, but you don’t have to fight for us anymore. Lay down and sleep. It won’t hurt anymore.”<p>I’m glad Jake is surrounded by people who love him. I’m sure they’re telling him the same things. And I’m also sure it’s harder for them to let go of their beloved husband and brother than it will be for him to close his eyes and finally rest.<p>Sending much love his way, and also theirs.
> I have learned much, experienced much, made many mistakes, enjoyed my triumphs, suffered my defeats, and, most vitally, experienced love.<p>At the end of the day, what more can we wish for in a human life than this?
Man, the part about the credit card at the funeral home hit me really hard.<p>When I was 20, I witnessed my dad collapse in front of me as the result of years-long battle with heart disease, failed to help him with CPR, and saw him "officially" die in front of my eyes at a hospital 30 minutes later.<p>Barely hours later I am in a funeral home trying to make arrangements for a cremation because he had no will, assets, or last wishes, and yea, that transactional vibe hit really hard - they were feigning empathy, but I was 20, broke, just suffered a pretty traumatic event and was in quite a vulnerable state. It felt disgusting that they were trying to "upsell" me on services and every step of the process felt designed to wring every single dime that I had out of me. Luckily I didn't have much to give at that time or I probably would have.
Sorry for being angry but this is fucking sucks. It's not fair in any way. I'm speechless besides that. This is a nightmare.<p>Sending all the love I can to you Jake Bess and family. I wish somehow I could do anything to change this or make you feel better.
Ah fuck, mate. It’s his brother. Very poignant.<p>Jake Seliger’s posts have been great in detailing the process he’s taken to fight the disease. I am grateful for his work.
> Both of us lacked the emotional maturity to form deep, meaningful relationships with other people.<p>> Jake loves his plug-in induction stovetop, and thinks it worthwhile despite its cost.<p>These are Amazon affiliate links to random crap in the middle of a blog about a brother dying to cancer about to leave a pregnant wife. What is happening here.
Thank you, Jake! ---and your family--- for your links and work that highlight the importance of clinical trials for mRNA tumor vaccines! Will keep posting to HN her articles when they come out.<p><a href="https://archive.ph/bessstillman.substack.com" rel="nofollow">https://archive.ph/bessstillman.substack.com</a><p>(Archive listing jseliger's wife Bess Stillman on clinical trials (including how to navigate them as patients) as well as comments)<p>Suggestions for concrete directions that have been mentioned, that are worth highlighting, in order of importance:<p>0) assume good faith<p>1) promote (& improve) Right-to-Try<p><a href="https://www.fda.gov/media/133864/download#:~:text=Right%20to" rel="nofollow">https://www.fda.gov/media/133864/download#:~:text=Right%20to</a>....<p>2) donate to (or even joining!) HN-adjacent Arc Institute (mRNA translational research)<p>3) sue the FDA for clinical trials, in general. This is not a call to attack on the FDA, but perhaps the best way, to improve processes, that is available to citizens.<p>Here's one case <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2023/10/xocova-en" rel="nofollow">https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2023/10/xocova-en</a>...
If you've already decided on cremation, look for a local Cremation Society. The term you're looking for is "simple cremation" where the deceased is cremated and the ashes returned to you. No ceremonies, no viewing, minimal decisions, minimal expense. Some funeral homes offer this also, they aren't the only option.<p>The celebration of life at a later date can then be organized when all involved are feeling up to it.
Thank you, Jake! ---and your family--- for your links and work that highlight the importance of clinical trials for mRNA tumor vaccines! I will post your wife's work to HN when it comes out.
<a href="https://archive.ph/bessstillman.substack.com" rel="nofollow">https://archive.ph/bessstillman.substack.com</a><p>(Archive listing jseliger's wife Bess Stillman on clinical trials (including how to navigate them as patients) as well as comments)<p>Suggestions for concrete directions that have been mentioned, that are worth highlighting, in order of importance:<p>0) assume good faith<p>1) promote (& improve) Right-to-Try<p><a href="https://www.fda.gov/media/133864/download#:~:text=Right%20to" rel="nofollow">https://www.fda.gov/media/133864/download#:~:text=Right%20to</a>....<p>2) donate to (or even joining!) HN-adjacent Arc Institute (for mRNA translational research)<p>3) sue the FDA for clinical trials, in general. This is NOT a call to attack the FDA, but perhaps the best way, to improve processes, that is available to citizens.<p>Here's one case <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2023/10/xocova-en" rel="nofollow">https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2023/10/xocova-en</a>...