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"Men are not raised to share feelings" Male Patients' Discourses on Group CBT

14 pointsby tokai7 months ago

3 comments

justonenote7 months ago
Authored by 5 women and 1 man, and the transcripts and initial research&#x2F;sessions were run by only women therapists (which is noted at the start of the paper as something to be aware of)<p>Not surprisingly then, the whole piece is framed as things like,<p>&gt; cultural beliefs about masculinity<p>&gt; hegemonic masculine practices in western societies<p>&gt; traditional masculinity beliefs.<p>&gt; discourses surrounding traditional masculinity<p>and how these are unhelpful in allowing men to express emotions and participate and&#x2F;or seek out therapy.<p>At no point as far as I can tell do the authors consider the possibility that men being more drawn to be self-reliant, action orientated and problem solvers rather than emotionally expressive are not just beliefs but everyday reality.<p>Of course men have emotions, but lambasting them from that they should ignore &quot;socially constructed western beliefs about gender roles&quot; to instead focus on their emotions so they can avail of therapy doesn&#x27;t seem so productive.<p>There is some interesting tidbits in the piece though, bearing in mind the subjects were a mix of men and women who sought out therapy.<p>&gt; When we conducted analysis on the full sample, we noticed that the men’ all brought up the role of gender in their interviews, whilst the women in the sample generally did not.<p>I wonder what social influences could explain why in a group split between men and women that sought out therapy the men were the ones much more cognizant of gender.<p>To be charitable the authors do seem to be open to the idea, and indeed the whole point of the paper is, that different approaches to therapy might work better for men, but at the same time the whole thing is very much based on the blank slate&#x2F;gender is socially constructed idea.<p>&gt; The binary categories of gender are generally changing and in the future many patients will probably be more gender fluid. This presents a new, important research avenue.<p>What about addressing the binary categories of biological sex? Which are unlikely to change anytime soon no matter how much funding for research is obtained.
swagasaurus-rex7 months ago
I’ve found most men are actually very open to sharing their feelings if you ask them about it.<p>They’re often relieved to have somebody who actually cares to listen.<p>These studies place the blame on men for not “opening up” or “sharing their feelings”.<p>I think that attitude is hurtful. The blame lies with those who are unwilling to listen, which is honestly most people.
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sandspar7 months ago
I went to one of these male group therapy things before and it was icky and weird. The facilitator was a gay guy wearing earrings and lipstick. One of the other guys there was a plumber or something like that. He was trying to talk about his wife when another guy cut in and started telling some sob story about his feelings. The whole thing felt passive aggressive and like a fight was about to break out. There&#x27;s two kinds of intimate guy spaces: &quot;brotherhood&quot; oriented ones, where you NEVER cry; and &quot;therapy&quot; ones, where you&#x27;re expected to cry. The &quot;therapy&quot; people keep trying to sell these group therapy sessions as &quot;brotherhood&quot; sessions and when the poor brotherhood schmucks show up they get grossed out and ganged up on by the sobbers.
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