It’s great satire, but it really does mirror a larger societal shift where the burden of safeguarding personal autonomy has shifted from institutions/regulators to individual users. Do-Not-Stab, Do-Not-Track, whatever it might be, any sort of “voluntary compliance” is a non-starter in the face of financial pressures<p>IMO we need to start normalizing being militant about this stuff again, to aggressively and adversarially defend the freedom to use your computer the way you choose to use it
It's important to note that the Do-Not-Stab header has been deprecated because one browser engine switched it on by default and requiring users to opt into stabbing hurt the bottom line of the stabbing industry, so it's no longer respected. Luckily someone came up with General Assault Control, a non-standard alternative, which also only has one value, so you can set Sec-GAC to 1 to request websites not to assault you. By design, this header cannot be extended, so it cannot be used to distinguish brutal stabbings from a comedic pie to the face in the future.<p>Because of legal requirements, the General Assault Control header may not be enabled by default, as American states like Colorado require explicit opt-out (rather than explicit opt-in). This protects Colorado's thriving stabbing and shooting industry as most users will never want to opt into being stabbed.<p>Despite the feature being forced to be disabled by default, the organisation behind the spec is pushing hard for customers to download fringe browsers that implement the feature (though you may need about:config to enable it). Because of the small user base, the request not to be assaulted can be used by websites not willing to follow the standard to make their stabbings and shootings more precise. End users can request a JSON file from the web server containing the supposed support for the GAC header, but requesting this URL may be used to kick the user in the teeth by non compliant servers.
This is such transparent EU Bureaucracy shilling. No wonder Europe doesn't have any large SaaS companies with their stabbing unfriendly business climate.
For the low price of $20/1000 clicks, I will provide you with a stabbing consent banner, fully compliant with upcoming EU and CA regulations on web-based stabbing.
This website appears to be part of a webring (how delightful!) made up of MtF trans people, furries, self-identified robots (some of which exclusively use third person pronouns) and sometimes a mixture of these. All appear to be some form of sysadmin or programmer.<p>This isn't my tribe, but I'm incredibly pleased to see a beautiful reflection of the old internet within this webring.
The Do Not Track header was originally proposed in 2009 by researchers Christopher Soghoian and Sid Stamm.[2] Mozilla Firefox became the first browser to implement the feature.<p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Not_Track#:~:text=The%20Do%20Not%20Track%20header,browser%20to%20implement%20the%20feature" rel="nofollow">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Not_Track#:~:text=The%20Do%...</a>.
> because every company out there fucking hates you<p>They don't actually hate you. Rather, they love your money and they have a depraved indifference for you.
Relax, folks, entities have plenty of other options, there still won't be support for Do-Not-Shoot, Do-Not-Rape, Do-Not-Stone, fun for the whole family.
Excellent satire. Really drives the point home. I think it's hard sometimes to understand just how much forces of bad use paper trail to push their agenda. This outlines this really well
Adtech is kind of like the fungal domain of the web, in that it allows life to technically exist where it shouldn’t, because death is actively in progress. It recycles deathly content back to the top of the food chain to Big N, wherein it is reconstituted into cushy salaries for the people that ultimately create the infrastructure that allows endless slop to permeate the web.
Don't care too much about do-not-stab since I deployed a pi-bulldog on my network that catches all the back alley NSRs (network stab requests). I was thinking about using SDoH (self-defense over https) or AoT (AR15 over TLS) to be protected outside my network as well, but honestly the little stabbings here and there cause sufficiently little blood to be drew that its not worth the hassle.
I couldn’t tell if it was intended to be a note-for-note parody of an RFC about the do-not-track header, but I couldn’t find one that would qualify. The closest would be this[1], but it doesn’t cleanly match up (in part because [1] is more verbose and its points scattered).<p>Another satire RFC in the same spirit is the one about the evil bit[2] (designate one bit in packets to indicate whether it’s intended for evil), with the same subtext as the linked post: no, you can’t trust malicious entities to change their behavior to make it easier to stop.<p>[1] <a href="https://www.w3.org/TR/2019/NOTE-tracking-dnt-20190117/" rel="nofollow">https://www.w3.org/TR/2019/NOTE-tracking-dnt-20190117/</a><p>[2] <a href="https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/rfc3514" rel="nofollow">https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/rfc3514</a>
This is going to wipe out the saas market<p>(Sutures As A Service) which is a additional somewhat often used service once Stabbing As A Service has occurred.
<p><pre><code> Them: What's your LinkedIn Account?
Me: Don't have one.
Them: Twitter?
Me: Nope.
Them: InstaGram or TicToc?
Me: Nope.
Them: Do you use the web at all?
Me: Only through Lynx. I see a lot fewer ads.
Them: No JavaScript! How do you use YouTube?
Me: I don't, really.
Them: You have no social media?
Me: Well... I *did* order a pizza from Dominos online once...
Yeah... I don't use the web much as you would expect for someone
who's livelihood depends on it. I just wish USENET was still
USEFUL. I have a rant in me about ad-tech and crap-ware on the
web. I'm just enjoying my life without the web too much to
write it. And clearly, HN is my web-tech achilles heel.</code></pre>
I find it funny that the authors are from Google, of Google Analytics, where the recommended way to opt out of tracking is to install a "do not track" browser plugin (not available on mobile).<p>> Google has also released a browser plug-in that turns off data about a page visit being sent to Google, however, this browser extension is not available for mobile browsers.<p>source: <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_Analytics#Privacy" rel="nofollow">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_Analytics#Privacy</a>
Well, given that we need to tell them what they are not allowed to do, vs what they they are allowed, we need some "Do-Not-X" standard convention for headers.<p>For example, I have my browser send all of these with each request:<p>Do-Not-Eat: 1<p>Do-Not-Insert-Into-Anus: 1<p>Do-Not-Do-Evil: 1<p>Do-Not-Chew-Loudly: 1<p>Do-Not-Forget-To-Bring-A-Towel: 1<p>Do-Not-Pee-Into-The-Wind: 1<p>Do-Not-Give-Me-Up: 1<p>Do-Not-Let-Me-Down: 1<p>Do-Not-Turn-Around: 1<p>Do-Not-Desert-Me: 1<p>Do-Not-Stab: 1<p>The last one I added just now because this article opened my eyes to this glaring omission.
This will probably become less funny when everyone has a home robot that can cook for them. A robot that can handle a knife with sufficient dexterity can be a trained assassin if the owner doesn't pay the extortion demand of the malware that has infected their robot.
For some reason, I'm reminded of a particular comic strip from Achewood - <a href="https://achewood.com/2007/01/11/title.html" rel="nofollow">https://achewood.com/2007/01/11/title.html</a>.<p>"Fools! I have invented a usb device which can collect votes from the Internet and drive a knife through your heart!"
I see someone needs to teach their user-agent how to say "no".<p>Maybe they could get advice on the best way to do that from these people?: <a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42169027">https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42169027</a>
The date in the title is wrong, it should be 2111. Most appropriately, because something as forward-thinking as this proposal cannot be expected to even come up within this century, let alone be accepted.
I'd love for Please-Do-Stab header to exist so I can just set it and with it opt out of any stabbing-anti-stabbing wars and politics.<p>I fully understand that it's absence wouldn't meant that people won't get stabbed, but it would save time and mental space of all people like me who really don't care about being stabbed or not.<p>Honestly if anything, I'd like to be stabbed more.<p>By analogy to current situation about tracking ... Ad companies know too much about me? I think they know too little. For example for half a year they still haven't figured out that I know barely any words in German and are serving me German advertisements all the time just because I happen to be living in Germany currently.
If Monty Python made an RFC it would look very much like this one, just with more fruit.<p>On a more serious note: yeah wtf. I hope we in the EU draw the conclusion of companies even being unable (unwilling?) to gain informed consent and just start treating these privacy breaches as an outright crime.
> it’s fucking depressing when even the fucking bare minimum form of regulation is followed to the letter and no more<p>For Microsoft this also rings true from the opposite direction. Any specification that Microsoft technically abides is implemented in an egregiously dark way (at least for anything consumable at an enterprise level).<p>They go to great lengths to exercise every bit of leeway permitted by the spec, even when it doesn't make economical sense, because what are you gonna do about it? Vote with your wallet? Against the vendor that runs all your workstations and manages your directories and databases and deployments and authentication and authorization and business intelligence and and and?<p>No, you're gonna accommodate their absurd counter-requirements because what other choice do you have? The decision then becomes:<p>1. branch your code to shit with `vendor == microsoft` clauses<p>2. branch your project/architecture to shit and effectively maintain a Microsoft version alongside the "normal" core version<p>3. use Microsoft's bespoke library that solves the problem they created<p>A project that selects option 3 will face the least resistance integrating with Microsoft products, but will also become beholden to arbitrary rules that complicate integration with every other vendor who benevolently implements the standard.
The authors are [redacted] Google. Are they actually Google? They seem to unironically complain about what Microsoft is doing, but Google is guilty of the same.
> it’s fucking depressing when even the fucking bare minimum form of regulation is followed to the letter and no more, because every company out there fucking hates you and would sell you out to make a bit more money if they legally could. and even if they couldn’t, who’s going to stop them?<p>Certainly not any government. If you think the EU's regulation are of any help to the consumer you are gravely mistaken. The EU is quickly becoming a fucking nightmare to live in. <i>"The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws"</i>. The meme that goes around atm is that while Elon Musk created Tesla, SpaceX and Starlink the EU managed to get everybody to now have plastic bottles who do not close properly anymore: due to some regulation that mandates that bottle caps <i>must</i> hold to the bottle, weird only partially-functional mechanism have been created and it's a PITA to either drink from a plastic bottle or, worse, try to lay it horizontally in a fridge.<p>That's what the EU is: probably that some politicians or bureaucrats with enough brain cells to recognize a bottle cap on the ground thought <i>"I've got an idea to make the EU better, let's mandate every bottle to have a cap that cannot be separated from the bottle"</i>.<p>As a result you lay horizontally a plastic bottle of sugary drink in your fridge (because you've been used to do that for decades) and now all your fridge is sticky due to the bottle leaking.<p>It's all that is wrong with the EU bureaucrats in one example.<p>Also hailing the EU as the savior vs Microsoft when our lives becames miserable with EU consent cookie popups virtually everywhere is a bit thick.