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Over 47? Have you gone through midlife transformation?

21 pointsby throwandoawando5 months ago
The age of 47 is said to be the bottom of the midlife crisis U curve.<p>Have you gone through this? If so, was it a period of professional transformation for you? How did you transform? Or, after a period of turmoil, did you eventually stay in your previous role? How did it relate to your personal life?

15 comments

bruce5115 months ago
A mid-life crisis happens when you reach your goals.<p>When we are young we strive for success. We go to college, get a job, climb the career ladder. Ostensibly we do it to afford fancy houses, cars, motorbikes or whatever, but we can&#x27;t afford those things so we strive for success.<p>Then one day we achieve the goal. We have a wife, kids, house, car - we&#x27;re earning well, and have cash left over. We are, objectively, successful. We have reached the goal.<p>But we discover we&#x27;re not satisfied. Hence the crisis. Some get a new wife. Some buy the toys they always wanted. But that also doesn&#x27;t satisfy, the glow wears off, and we&#x27;re back to searching.<p>At this point the goals shift from success to significance. You want to leave a mark, to impact the lives of others. Maybe mentoring. Maybe uplifting others. Maybe charity. Maybe volunteering. And so on.<p>Sadly, of course, there are those who don&#x27;t progress. Some chase &quot;success&quot; forever, alienating people along the way. For some no measure of success is enough.<p>Some find contentment early - a balance between relationships and work. They tend to miss the &quot;crisis&quot; since their path switched from &quot;success&quot; to &quot;significance&quot; early.<p>In the long run people satisfy more than things.
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punk_coder5 months ago
I turn 53 on Sunday, Dec 15, so a little bit past 47.<p>I got married for the first time at 47. I’d been with my now wife since 2006, and in 2018 she mentioned she always wanted a wedding, even something small. So we got engaged and got married in Santa Fe, NM, a favorite vacation destination, with 10 close friends. That was pretty much my big change.<p>I never did the midlife crisis with the fancy car. In fact I use public transport when I go to work, so I ended up selling my car and just relying on that and a ZipCar membership for any day trips.<p>I guess my midlife crisis was more of a point to enjoy life. I took inventory of my life and found it actually wasn’t half bad. The grass was fairly green on my side of the fence.<p>Hope the best for you.
impendia5 months ago
I&#x27;m 46, and I&#x27;ve gone through something of a midlife crisis recently (and things are getting better now!)<p>When I was a kid, I was constantly being told how much much &quot;potential&quot; I had. I have accomplished a lot, and when I was in my twenties and thirties it was easy to imagine that all the things I hadn&#x27;t accomplished yet were still ahead of me.<p>Now, I&#x27;ve been faced with a reckoning: for sure, many great things still lie ahead, but I won&#x27;t be able to achieve <i>all</i> of my aspirations.<p>One thing that worked for me: seek professional help. I sought out a therapist and am still working with her. When I developed insomnia, I tried pretty much everything (medication, CBT, sleep study etc.) until I eventually found a medication that worked. This took <i>years</i>, but things are better now.<p>Also, avoid the &quot;sunk cost&quot; fallacy. For years I practiced at a yoga studio which was excellent, but the vibe was a little bit off for me and I wasn&#x27;t enjoying myself. I just sucked it up and kept going. But after Covid I decided to try something different, and ended up finding group fitness classes which I love.<p>Good luck!
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runjake5 months ago
I&#x27;ve gone through multiple: once in my 40s and once in my 50s. As my health inevitably declines, I expect another.<p>I didn&#x27;t buy a Corvette though, but rather approached the topic of death and limited time head-on. I was &quot;helped&quot; by the death of multiple close family members and the murder of a close friend.<p>I feel I&#x27;m in a good place now.<p>Understand that nearly every man goes through this.
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deanmoriarty5 months ago
I am going through it right now at 38. I am the unhappiest I have ever been.<p>It all stems from being fundamentally so unhappy with work. I have changed 3 employers over the past 4 years and I’ve been more and more depressed with each transition. I spend my life in a state of immense disappointment about having to work. I am not even passionate about software anymore, so it’s not only the corporate madness (meetings, offices, coworkers, bosses, pressure to perform, code reviewers, etc). My weekends are filled with anxiety about Mondays. Everywhere I go I just cannot stand the pressure to perform and the massive time investment.<p>I haven’t quit yet (despite likely affording to do so on a financial basis) because I’m a coward who would never forgive himself for having quit such a high paying job, and prefer to instead every day destroy my mental health at yet another workplace, hoping that it will be the day I will be fired or laid off, so that the decision would be taken for me.<p>Professional mental health has been useless, I know what I need to do, just quit.
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jazzcomputer5 months ago
I had my midlife crisis as a student in Cornwall, listening to Pink Floyd&#x27;s Wish you were here, in the bath. It lasted about 45 mins.
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sceptical5 months ago
At 49 I retired and spent the following years travelling. I did not really see it as a midlife crisis though as it was based on hitting a specific net worth. Now 3 years later I just completed my first marathon. I guess that is text book midlife crisis.<p>Never been healthier. Never been happier.
simonblack5 months ago
I got a new, better, improved wife out of mine. And I became a better person overall.<p>Also 47 seems a bit high. Women go through a midlife crisis around 35-38 years old, men tend to have theirs in the early 40s.
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p0d5 months ago
At 49 I left my IT job to join an incubator and grow my sideline business of 15 years. That lasted about 9 months and since then I have become a Lecturer in Computing in Further Education. I love my new job. It has many freedoms and also challenges. Freedoms around hours and challenges around your &quot;users&quot; being 3 feet in front of you.
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eclectric5 months ago
I am a 41. I am thinking of buying my first motorcycle, a Royal Enfield. I have never ridden a motorcycle before and this is a big change and an exciting one.<p>Link: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Royal_Enfield_Hunter_350" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Royal_Enfield_Hunter_350</a>
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InfamousRece5 months ago
I’m going through this right now. Bought my first EV car (non-Tesla though).
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markus_zhang5 months ago
To younger people reading this post: if you don&#x27;t know what you want in life, make more money. Set a FU money target and go for it. Use whatever legal means.
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chvid5 months ago
And what sports car did you get?
decide10005 months ago
I&#x27;m scared of it
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gamesetmath5 months ago
Turned 47 this year. Had first kid.<p>Cybertruck order is imminent.