Can't exactly ask coworkers for an ugly crying hug in the middle of a workday and then just act like nothing happened like you can with a best friend :(<p>I'll also admit it: I'm lonely and the magic of life seems to have disappeared since this over-the-top loneliness began around 2020. I too want a life full of loving people.<p>Also, fantastic work on that website. That's good stuff.
Probably the biggest problem after climate change, or atleast up there.<p>since this problem prevents the solution of others, because there's way lower collaboration and organisation due to the persistent loneliness and all the mental health costs.<p>the worst part is people stuck in the blissful non lonely state just don't give a fuck, cause they got their happiness.
(2023)<p>Some discussion then: <a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37960928">https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37960928</a><p>Been a number of more recent stories on this topic:<p><i>Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism</i> <a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42330341">https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42330341</a><p><i>Loneliness in Midlife: A Growing Gap Between US and Europe</i><p><a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39752487">https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39752487</a><p><i>The myth of the loneliness epidemic</i><p><a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42238160">https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42238160</a>
You gotta make friends. You gotta have kids. That’s the story, man. Tbh a lot of people invite this life upon themselves. “I shouldn’t have to” / “Do you really expect me to” etc etc
It's frustrating to read the average person has (1-2) intimate friends and 15 people they stay in touch with contacting them at least once a month. I'm at 0 intimate friends right now and maybe 3 people I contact once a month where "contact" equals sending 1 or 2 sentences in a text message and getting 1 or 2 sentences back once or twice a month.<p>I don't consider myself an incel since I know several people who would be with me if I asked but I also know "we" aren't a match so I don't go there.<p>I also don't really know what to do it fix this issue. I look at meetup.com and I don't really see anything I want to participate in. A large portion of the activities there are limited to younger people, or specific demographics of which I'm not one. The few that are left don't seem inviting or interesting.<p>What are other good sources of activities?<p>It doesn't help that I moved 4 years ago away from friends and back semi-near family at their request. The truth is I'm just not that close to them, we've all been apart for 30+ years. At the same time, my friends back where I moved from, while still there, I'm not sure are enough to get me to move back. There's more to it. I'm old and it's another country. Getting a visa to move back would be hard. Getting a job even harder. And, even if I moved back, while it would arguably be better than my current situation, it wouldn't rise to the average listed in the article.<p>WFH has also made things worse. These last 5 years (including one at home during COVID) have been the worst years of my life in terms of people. I've gone many months seeing around 1 person a month.<p>There's this post from SLC: <a href="https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/08/31/radicalizing-the-romanceless/" rel="nofollow">https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/08/31/radicalizing-the-roman...</a><p>Which I found interesting in that if loneliness is a health issue, then why doesn't may insurance cover it? Why doesn't my doctor suggest solutions? I suppose this used to be where churches come in but that's no longer a thing for most people.
Thank you for the post.
It made me connect some dots in my mind about the frustation of a close long distance friend.
Some people brought that upon themselves with the choices they commited in their life. I'm kind to most people but some people don't deserve our kindness, doesn't mean that I disrespect them.
Interesting storytelling website.