Three examples of extremely motivated people: Michael Jordan, Lance Armstrong, and Bill Gates. Everyone knows they're hyper-competitive; the common traits seem to be extreme reactions to slights real or imagined (using anger as fuel) and an extreme aversion to failure, finding it unbearably painful. They are antisocial, dealing with the public for business purposes, but not friendly. They also all had an unshakeable conviction that whatever they were doing was <i>the</i> most important thing they could do, and they <i>wanted</i> to do it more than anything else in the world. No divided focus! They all loved what they did.<p>Jordan: If another player talked smack, Jordan would make a point of humiliating that player on court next time they met. He also held grudges -- he froze out Sports Illustrated for years after they published an unfavorable article about his baseball career.<p>Armstrong: Like Jordan, but on a bike. To make a point, he'd beat someone by a huge margin, rather than coasting to a win. He held grudges, too, and wouldn't even let a rider way down in the ranks go for glory in a breakaway stage win if he was upset with them -- he'd set his team to chase them down, which meant everyone else had to chase too in order to keep up. All his Tour de France wins were after cancer; he was riding for people fighting cancer, which is what made it <i>the</i> most important thing to him -- he had incredible discipline as a result, which he lacked before the illness. He couldn't stand the thought of coming in second in the Tour and he worried about his top opponents <i>purposely</i> to make himself train harder. <p>Gates is likewise a well-known worrier. He thinks that at any time, a competitor could come out of the woodwork that would spell the end of Microsoft, just like what Microsoft itself did to so many others. Despite being at the top, he paddles as furiously as if he were just trying to keep his head above water.<p>They have all had unprecedented success. However, there is a cost -- they've made a lifetime habit of being selfish, pissed off and dissatisfied. This has consequences for every relationship, not just professional ones.<p>Inhabiting that headspace -- with all the worrying -- makes it a lot harder to enjoy life. They are probably no happier than you are right now; it seems you can choose to increase your "success" <i>or</i> happiness, but not both at the same time; they are mutually exclusive. You simply will not strive as hard if you are happy where you are. Once the habit's ingrained, even if you decide you are successful enough and switch to pursuing happiness, you'll probably start out pissed off and dissatisfied thinking you aren't <i>happy enough</i>! Interestingly, the very pursuit of happiness <i>pre-empts</i> happiness almost like a Catch-22. In chasing happiness, you guarantee you aren't feeling it. It's like "do or do not; there is no try" -- Yoda only one who decides what rules you have for it and when you'll <i>let yourself</i> feel happy, or not.