At the risk of being patronising towards someone using English as a foreign language, to my mind the best thing is the text accompanying the cartoon story: "The piteous woman is disturbed. A sweet dreaming is broken. She is feckless in the hospital". For some reason I find that utterly charming.
Great! Now all I need are some products to allow me to get dressed in the dark; quieten opening draws and wardrobes; silence the noise I make as I hop around the bedroom trying to get my left foot in a sock; stop the floorboards from creaking...
I find the idea fascinating, and would do wonders for my relationship... but I doubt I would be able to get a tension on the thing that would be soft enough to not bother me during wearing it, but strong enough to keep it on all night.