Personally I've decided that life is absolutely meaningless, and I've found that to be incredibly liberating. It's helped me to not put so much pressure on myself to achieve (achieve what?) and live more in the present. It's a shame that people who don't find meaning in their life tend to take the opposite tack toward depression. Or others gravitate toward followership to anyone who will tell them how to live. If I could give advice, it would be to not do that. Half the fun is figuring out what's meaningful for you.<p>Otherwise, there are various clichés. People will say their family is most important and money is meaningless or some variation. I think those truisms are worth the amount of time it takes someone to repeat them, which isn't much at all.<p>And I love that scene in Fight Club where Brad Pitt is telling Ed Norton that he won't be truly enlightened until he knows, not just thinks, that he is going to die. I wouldn't risk your life or hurt yourself to figure this out, but if you're in your 20's and haven't had any near-death experiences, as you get older, you will DEFINITELY realize that your life is finite and it will change your perspective. There will be a thousand things that in the back of your mind you always have thought you'd have time to do, but then you turn 30 and start to realize that you probably won't. And that you need to start economizing and prioritizing.
I'm afraid that by saying "My priorities are God, Family, Health" that you are just punting. You fall back on that when in every measurable way your life isn't what you hoped it would be so as a coping mechanism you redefine your values to measureless standards.<p>You "value" your family. What does that mean? You spent one hour pushing your kid on a swing because you realized you don't have the confidence, discipline, or perseverance to do the things you really want to be doing.<p>You "value" your family because you hate yourself, but you don't have the confidence to admit it.<p>IOW, you live your life however you want to and when you feel like it you just move the goalposts to make sure you look successful. Depressed people are the ones with the integrity not to move the goalposts.
I think most of us get to a point where we finally figure out we're mortal, and each day is one less we have to live.<p>As a parent with two small children, I'm constantly faced with two paths: I could work really hard, the result being <i>eventually</i> enough money that would bring me more "happiness" (travel the world with my wife and kids, for example); or I could extract every memory possible while my kids are this age.<p>When I think about being on my deathbed and looking back on my life, what will I be thinking? Will I have wished I worked longer hours? Or will I have wanted more memories of my kids laughing with me?<p>(This is largely why I'm building slow growth, sustainable lifestyle businesses over moving everyone to SF and working 100 hours a week at some startup.)
Several years ago our household income was $xx. Along came some opportunities and now it's $xx+y. My wife and I live the same lifestyle and save the rest. Why? It's fun to see the doors that open as your savings grow. Even if you never open those doors, having access to the keys is its own reward. Someday we'll open one of those doors. The anticipation and journey will surely be as joyful as the reveal behind the door.
I heard it in a movie - What would you do if you had 1 million dollars....not with the money, but with your time? Most people have a good, solid answer - it varies by person, but most people have something they'd rather be doing.<p>I'm still trying to figure out what I'd be doing with my time instead of working for a living. I think it would be working.
Here's a little confirmation bias at work... those with kids can't really undo that decision so spending time with the family is a knee-jerk "number one priority" (how many people would really come out and say they would prefer to work than see their kids? even if it's true, I doubt it would be socially acceptable).<p>Those who prefer the 100-hour weeks will no doubt say work is the number one priority. See "saving money for the future" vs. "spending money in case you die tomorrow" as other examples.
Let's try to rationalize the question. Raising a family is slowly losing some appeal due to overpopulation, possibilities of dramatic life extension, and the mere fact that it's something that everyone can do (and does). Also, history books never mention someone as a good parent. In the end it's an investment decision: what are you willing to invest your most precious resource (your time) on? It depends on what kind of rewards are regarded as better.
I'm going to post this because I genuinely hope to get some feedback ....<p>I absolutely hate the saying "you only regret the things you didn't do when you die not the things you did". Really? I suspect some aids victims regret things they did. I'm guessing meth addicts also regret somethings they did. I don't see how this cliche helps you decide what to do and what to avoid.<p>For a less dramatic example my father recommends choosing a high paying job that is not so interesting over a more risky job that's more fun. His experience is he took the a risky job, though whether it was fun or not I don't know, the risk didn't pan out. Now he's 69 and driving a delivery truck because he can't afford to retire.<p>It would be nice to hear more failure stories to contrast with success stories
I'm not sure who said that, but I find it quite true:<p>><i>To make money we lose our health;</i><p>><i>And then to restore our health we lose our money...</i><p>><i>We live as if we are never going to die;</i><p>><i>And we die as if we never lived...</i><p>Try to take that into account when you're making decisions.
Spent all 2011 killing myself to bring a project in on time, missed kids's end-of-year shows, nearly got to divorce. This year I'm getting out on time, closer to home, and seeing a lot more of my family. Sure, it's less ambitious, and the possibilities of promotion are massively reduced - but I know where I'm happier.
1) If you're at a point in your life where you can afford it; go crazy. Work your ass off and climb whatever ladder you can climb. Live to the full stretch, travel, party hard but work harder. Don't care about money until you're 30. You will gather experiences that will make you a richer, better person as an investment in the rest of your life.<p>2) If you have relationships you value, people around you that you love, a future you want to build; do it. Show them your affection, build that better home or that better future.<p>Both will make you happy.<p>Some comments were already saying what the point is on saving money when you get some terminal disease and slowly pass away sitting on a pile of cash. Being sick at home for over 3 months makes you contemplate a lot about your current status quo and question the life matter a lot. Why am I stuck here? Why now? What have I done so far that made me crash like this, etc.<p>A friend made me a striking comment: "I'd be interested in how much momentum your mind gained in this forced downtime." And that's where this is good for in my case: I slowly gain inspiration and frustration about my life, charging a battery which will be set loose once I recover.
Live your life in phases. Work hard when you're working. Take solid blocks of time off when you can. Make each startup you try in a different industry.<p>Think back on a vacation you took a few years ago. Now try to remember other weeks that year. It's variety that builds memories and leads to creativity.<p>The more your life is a big homogenous block, the less you will have to look back on. "The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime".<p>Create some memories, but create them with people. Memories you can share are so much richer than memories alone. This is one important reason to preserve relationships.
I like to view life as one giant happiness optimization problem. (That's how you can tell I'm an engineer).<p>Pretty much all problems are taken care of this way. Time working/salary ratio? Too much to do/boredom? Just keep optimizing.<p>I do make a bit of an exception. If helping someone else makes them happier at the expense of some of my own, I'll go ahead and (try) to do it. Normally, helping someone else makes me happy too, but occasionally there's times where the kindest thing to do isn't the most enjoyable.
> bogleheads.org<p>WP:<p>> John Clifton "Jack" Bogle (born May 8, 1929) is the founder and retired CEO of The Vanguard Group. He is known for his 1999 book Common Sense on Mutual Funds: New Imperatives for the Intelligent Investor, which became a bestseller and is considered a classic.
The answer to this question isn't going to come from the top down, I think it has to come from the bottom up. So, its not really a helpful question, except maybe interesting to reflect upon post hoc?