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Life is wasting my time

128 pointsby daemonlabout 12 years ago

15 comments

alexhaefnerabout 12 years ago
Maybe I misunderstood this because of what books I have been reading lately, but I really enjoyed reading this piece as a piece of irony. Apparently the word irony, pre-14th century had more to do with an author writing an opinion he or she did not hold, as if he or she did hold it.<p>When I read this as if the author doesn't believe that life is wasting his time, but is being ironic, because the inherent flaw resides within himself, and not within life, then I find the piece to be a really, really interesting and an exposing and humble read.
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bryanjclarkabout 12 years ago
"There was once a boy named Milo who didn't know what to do with himself - not just sometimes, but always.<p>"When he was in school he longed to be out, and when he was out he longed to be in. On the way he thought about coming home, and coming home he thought about going. Wherever he was he wished he were somewhere else, and when he got there he wondered why he'd bothered. Nothing really interested him - least of all the things that really should have."
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kayooneabout 12 years ago
Great piece, I am sure many people on HN can relate to this. Its especially true in this community where you are constantly reminded that other people "like you" build these amazing things. The project that millions use, the open source software that is a godsend to developers, the game that is getting rave reviews, the prototype that is so amazing in a technical sense.<p>Add to that the interaction with super smart people that talk alot about programming best practices, new technologies, the future of computing, maths, literature.<p>I think as a person inside of this world, its really hard to not get sucked into the mindsight of:<p>* i need to get more work done<p>* i need to start this amazing project<p>* i need to learn more<p>* i need to grow<p>* i need to make more money faster<p>All this is well and good, but for me it often results in being impatient when doing things "normal people do". I have this constant feel of "i should be doing something more useful" no matter what i do. This is were it gets dangerous and i think in the long run it will lead to alot of unhappiness.<p>Atleast that i am aware of it and try to reflect on it, is the first step to more happiness, or so i hope.
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copperxabout 12 years ago
I felt like my life was being described by the author. However, I don't feel like that anymore. My life changed when I got to be responsible for a kid. There's nothing I rather be doing instead of being with my child; there's no nagging in the back of my mind anymore telling me to go read some more, to come up with the next big thing, to hack something out, to work out math problems.<p>I still enjoy doing constructive activities, but it's no longer my life's purpose. For me, it's like seeing the 'big picture' of life. I remember, like the author, being extremely impatient with family life and social activities because I would rather be spending time building something, learning something new. Normal human activities seemed boring and purposeless. I made a promise to myself that I would never have a family for the fear of being too draining and becoming frustrated for not having enough time for my projects. All of that vanished in a couple of weeks after meeting my now wife's kid.<p>The kid I'm responsible for is not my biological child, so it's not just the instinct of caring for my own child that's at play here.<p>Perhaps that's why the most important scientific discoveries come before scientists have kids; it's not the responsibility and the time suck that impede growth, it's an overwhelming feeling of happiness and indescribable feeling of "doing the right thing" that rearing a child brings.<p>I honestly thought that child rearing distracted and frustrated parents because they HAD to become selfless. It doesn't feel that way at all. Self-growth seems superficial and meaningless now in the grand scheme of things, and I am a pretty ambitious and obsessed person.
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ivanbernatabout 12 years ago
I hope the author is reading this thread.<p>What struck me was this line: "Family time bores me because I could otherwise be doing amazing things".<p>I felt like this for a long time. I was in a long-term relationship with an amazing woman, yet I spent my free time working or thinking about all the "amazing" things I could have been working on. Up to the point where she left me.<p>Family time is the one thing you should never consider a bore or a chore.
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unimpressiveabout 12 years ago
I don't get the nasty comments on his blog, it's clearly a self aware piece poking fun at it's own sense of superiority. If he really had things the way he wanted them, he wouldn't need to be there in the first place.<p>And on top of that, it's brilliantly poetic.
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scotty79about 12 years ago
I felt the same way. But I gave up struggling and accepted that my destiny is to lead sucky life, waste my time here on earth with mortals and mediocre jobs and most likely never accomplish anything non-average.
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ejslabout 12 years ago
Sounds like depression.
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mr_penguinabout 12 years ago
Journey, not the destination.
snuzeabout 12 years ago
This bring to mind the Kevin Spacey monologue in Casino Jack:<p><i>Cause in reality, mediocrity is where most people live. Mediocrity is the elephant in the room. It's ubiquitous. Mediocrity in your schools. It's in your dreams. It's in your family. And those of us who know this - those of us who understand the disease of the dull - we do something about it. We do more because we have to.</i><p>Read more at: <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1194417/quotes?qt=qt1477054" rel="nofollow">http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1194417/quotes?qt=qt1477054</a>
ritchieaabout 12 years ago
I struggle with this myself. But sometimes the problem is actually the thing you're pursuing. What if the thing you're second guessing is a zombie startup? Or really any pursuit that isn't measuring up to reasonable standards set for it.<p>Setting lofty goals often involves taking on projects and employment opportunities before they are mature ventures. And you end up asking the question "am I being unreasonable and impatient or is this project doomed?" It's not an easy question to answer.
basicallydanabout 12 years ago
Mate, I can also relate to this. It's tough. I know the problem is myself but I don't know how to solve it. Although, I <i>do</i> know how to solve it, yet somehow I don't. Sure, it might be a "humblebrag" but it's a god damned frustrating one. I Think a lot of people, especially people on HN, feel this way.
Klunyabout 12 years ago
Not sure I agree with you, but I really enjoy your particular version of English-as-a-second-language.
Uncompetativeabout 12 years ago
You have a partner and access to a beach. I have neither and haven't had a job since 1988. Yet the only thing I have found boring about my life of late has been reading this. I am not going to tell you to stop bleating, to accept the uneliminatable imperfections inherent in life so you can better focus on reducing the recurring overall inefficiencies because I feel it would fall on deaf ears. You can't be helped. You can only help yourself out of this mental rut and change your subjective perspective towards your circumstances by developing not a positive mental attitude but a pragmatic one. I can't reach into your cerebellum and rewire it. You can. It will take about six months - assuming you don't kill yourself in the meantime.
k_infiniteabout 12 years ago
My whole life is consumed by this feeling.<p>I feel like I should already have achieved something great, yet I don't explicitly think I'm special, although feeling like this and letting other people know about this constant irking feeling might understandably lead them to think that I think of myself as someone special or superior to them, especially when talking to people who haven't experienced this kind of push and don't have these kinds of aspirations. I think that in my case there's a healthy part to it and there's an obsessive, blown-out-of-proportions part to it, based on the healthy part. And it's not easy to tell, where one ends and where the other starts.<p>The most dreaded thought to me is the thought of mediocrity, me being just another working bee as someone put it in the comments, with no power, ability, skills, and certainly no destiny to build or do something great. What "something great" is, I didn't really outline it yet. Maybe this should be the first step towards actually starting a project that matters. I cannot relax. I cannot let go. In my life it is rare, when I can just kick back and relax and enjoy doing something that is not the next step towards something big.<p>Whenever I'm left alone with nothing to do, the feeling of guilt sooner of later overwhelms me, I cannot have a breakfast without my thoughts rushing. I just keep thinking about what I had done wrong or why I haven't achieved anything of significance in my life. For one part, there is this feeling that I already should have achieved great things and this feeling implies that I should actually be able to achieve great things, and therefore that somehow I am destined to achieve great things. Then rationally I know that I am not special at all, but I can be. I know that things that I consider great can be achieved by just people like me, because I know people who have achieved great things. And that there's no destiny involved, just hard work and a lot of skills which can be learned. The thing that is special about these people is their attitude. The only times I came close to feeling relaxed and being able to kick back and relax, were times when I've felt that I actually had something great going on in my life, something that I've felt could go somewhere, something with potential.<p>I consider the notion of potential one of the greatest things in life. I would even go as far as to say that I value potential more than I value actual results, more than I value potential realized. Potential is the start of everything, potential contains everything in it, nothing is determined yet, nothing is sure, but everything is possible.<p>And I think I'm afraid of stepping out of my zone of potential into the real world, because out of the infinite possibilities, I have to choose one, I have to choose a direction, _one_ direction and go there, knowing I will probably never be able to go back. And take directions after directions, and from the abstract notion of being everything at once, out of all the possibilities, I have become only one path, one string of life, that either becomes successful or withers and dies.<p>From the place where there is no meaning to failure or to success, to certainty or to uncertainty, to decision, because everything is in there all at once, and there is only excitement and anticipation, to the place, where I might fail like many people have failed before.<p>For now I try to focus on doing things I really like, things that deeply excite and interest me, things that matter to me, and I try to put the maximum amount of effort into doing those things, and now I just have faith that out of these things a project will emerge. And that as long as I can find things that excite me, there will always be a project in there somewhere that's worth doing.
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