The secrets of body language

Body language experts are trained to look for <i>groups</i> of behaviors. Often, certain behaviors such as crossed arms could just mean the subject is cold. It is also hard to judge someone's body language after you have just met them; it is much better to compare their behavior to the "baseline" of their normal behavior. That is because certain behaviors are not innate but learned unconsciously from parents, relatives, close friends, and is also dependent upon regional culture. If you want to learn about body language, you should spend a lot of time practicing watching several different people and finding groups of behaviors that signal their respective moods before you start to start to make inferences with confidence. It is helpful to watch people from different cultures or different classes so that you may see how much variation there is. Otherwise, decisions made with little knowledge and practice is actually harmful because your inferences will likely be wrong. "You should never cross your arms again" may be good advice, but only because you can then guard yourself from people that overestimate their powers of observation.

This kind of article doesn't address the issue known as Chesterton's fence [1]. If so-called "low power" poses are so bad for you, why have they survived evolution? Why do we have such strong ingrained impulses to assume them in the first place? "Experts" need to give a very, very convincing answer to this question before urging us to abandon such poses.<p>Anecdotally, I've often been with groups of engineers where <i>everyone</i> was assuming "low power" poses. The discussion seemed to flow more constructively in such circumstances; it was as though everyone admitted that they didn't know the right answers. They felt free to submit very rough ideas because everybody else was just as ignorant and not in a position to shoot them down. Enter a "confident" program manager, however, and the group quickly devolved into silence and/or banalities; everyone felt reluctant to express opinions that they didn't feel completely certain about.<p>[1] <a href="http://epicureandealmaker.blogspot.com/2012/03/chesterton-fence.html" rel="nofollow">http://epicureandealmaker.blogspot.com/2012/03/chesterton-fe...</a>

The fun part is watching people actually try to control their body language in reality. You can try, but if you aren't feeling what that "power pose" is broadcasting, you'll just look like an idiot to anyone even remotely paying attention.<p>You aren't going to gain leadership by leaning back and spread eagling in a business meeting. You're going to gain it by being an actual leader and doing stuff that adds value to an organization.

Here's the TED talk from the researcher herself: <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes...</a>

Two things I am wondering:<p>First, what does it mean that these poses, these concepts ("power" as the desirable mode of relating to your coworkers for example) and even the key hormone we are meant to incite are so gendered? The poses are more essentially masculine than they are powerful. Have you ever seen a woman naturally with in the arm-around-the-chair pose, hips slunk forward and chest back? It would look quite unusual I think. As an employer, I'm not sure I want to select for testosterone (and I don't think I have so far). But maybe there is more to it.<p>Second, does it matter that attention is zero-sum? I would suggest that to ve convincing the author doesn't need to merely argue that body language manipulation is helpful, but that it is more helpful than, say, listening carefully, or preparing that much more for an interview, or even studying and thinking about human psychology more directly. You can only keep track of so many dimensions at once, and I'm not sold on the idea that I would benefit from privileging this dimension. Maybe I would, but that case hasn't been made for me yet.

As a great practical guide to reading and applying body language, I'd recommend "What everybody is saying" by Dave Navarro. Guy used to do body language analysis for the FBI afaik, and then wrote a book about it.<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/d...</a><p>Concerning the body language tips the article recomends, I think everyone except arms crossed behind head is covered for in the book. Arm akimbo, crossed legs, etc.<p>As a personal tip, I'd give the thumbs up. No, like actually stretch your thumbs out when you walk around or talk to people, and leave them out of your pockets. It's ok to put the rest of the hand in, but the thumbs stay out.<p>Ahh, and if you're arguing, even if you want to, don't start undressing yourself, no matter how angry you are. 2 people arguing and taking jackets and shirts off usually means business you don't want to be part of neccesairily.

This is the actual definition of "cargo cult" behavior.<p>It's getting cause and effect backwards because you don't understand their relationship, and trying to imitate the effect in the futile hope that it will cause the cause.<p>People who sit all relaxed like that do so because they have power. They don't have power because they sit like that, and sitting like that will not magically confer power to you.

This is great stuff as long as you like people who breath their own exhaust.<p>As soon as you encounter someone who is not speaking the same language, there will be great confusion. Usually, this means anyone from outside of MBA/Marketing/ or other art-of-BS type disciplines.

Impro: Improvisation and the Theatre (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Impro-Improvisation-Theatre-Keith-Johnstone/dp/0878301178" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Impro-Improvisation-Theatre-Keith-John...</a>) has a great section on communicating status through body language and movement.<p>It describes a number of exercises where one actor takes the role of a superior and the other an inferior. The techniques are quite effective for the intended audience.<p>I would quote from it but I had a paper copy and it's really only worth running through once a decade for a non-actor interesting in the physical aspect of acting.

I know that body language and customs are different, but I wanted to point out that in some Asian cultures, arm-crossing is done as a sign of respect, especially towards elders. It's a source of confusion and amusement for older people when the Western-integrated young people get angry.<p>That said, one should keep an eye out for more than just nonverbal cues, as telling as they may be.

I hate it when people put their feet up on tables, especially near my person. If you did that around me I'd just think you were an asshole.

I feel like this is one of those instances where, once everyone knows about it, everyone does it, and everyone knows why you're doing it. Therefore, it eventually becomes ineffective (perhaps there is a name for this phenomenon). If I keep seeing books/blog posts/news segments on "power poses" then every interviewee starts putting their feet on my table, surely I'll notice. It's the body language version of a buzzword.<p>Also Zed Shaw had an interesting take on putting your feet on the table, but the link appears to be dead now. See: <a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1235791" rel="nofollow">https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1235791</a>

I believe that we humans can also detect fake and unnatural body language.<p>What I don't like about is when people try to be impressive and poses a fake and unnatural body language to convey a certain scenario or meaning.<p>Body language is all about the meaning of the messages they convey and the GENUINE emotion they are experiencing.<p>It should not be faked, for the purpose of conveying a meaning or a make believe scenario.<p>It should begin with the message itself, it should begin with the actual emotion itself.<p>- Focus first on having a meaningful means of being confident, before you actually become, convey and exudes great confidence.<p>- Focus first on having a meaningful message, before actually forcing people that you have a meaningful and convincing message.<p>Winners have a genuine emotion for winning, so they actually have a real winning body language. It is not fake, and it is very convincing, and people will be drawn by the same emotions the winner is experiencing via the winner's genuine body language.<p>I have encountered several people doing unnatural body language, they want people to believe that they are confident speakers but their message is so unconvincing, it does not gel and it is really annoying and is painful to watch.

This article doesn't address the "why you should never cross your arms again" that is in it's title at all.

A couple of points:<p>1) As far as interviews are concerned (or any dialogue) mirroring might get you further than power -- eg: when your interviewer crosses his/her arms, you might gain an advantage doing the same - whatever the "power poses" theory says. I suppose it is like language: Short, conscience sentences might be "powerful" or "commanding" -- but that alone doesn't make for <i>effective</i> prose in all cases. No communication without context.<p>2) Sitting in a room for two minutes, relaxing, convinced that you're doing a "power poise" -- might elevate your hormone levels. I'm sure screaming a battle cry, or doing a haka would work to. Not sure if it is just the poise in itself that helps with the levels. Would be interesting to do a reverse test: tell people that a "low power" position is actually a "power position" and vice versa -- and redo the experiment. I highly doubt we've got strong evolutionary ties to sitting with our feet up on a swivel chair.<p>3) The point about blind athletes -- so you imply blind people don't have socialized behaviour? Thankfully you don't have to live in an isolation chamber just because you're blind.<p>[edit: formatting x2]

I can't locate the reference, but I've read, and observed, that if you want to verify that the person w/ whom you're conversing is paying attention to you, cross your arms: if the other person crosses their arms also, then they're paying attention to you.

I typically dance to music that makes me feel cool while walking to job interviews. So far it has worked really well.

Great article. If anyone's interested I've got a video course on how to improve your body language. The course is 100% free and you can register at: <a href="http://gobodylanguage.com" rel="nofollow">http://gobodylanguage.com</a>

Lots of gems in here: <a href="https://www.inkling.com/read/dummies-body-language-elizabeth-kuhnke-2nd/chapter-8/building-defensive-barriers" rel="nofollow">https://www.inkling.com/read/dummies-body-language-elizabeth...</a>

Hmmm.. With poses you can broadcast your 'negotiation position', but I don't think it's appropriate to try to look like you're on the winner's side if you're not. Makes some sense in some situations like interviews though.

I'm learning taijiquan: one of the key concepts is the alignment of the body posture to allow energy to enter the meridians. Health and emotion are both influenced by posture.

Nice writeup. Interesting to see quite a few of those from buffer covering some interesting research into stuff that affects our lives.<p>there's little typo in 'Our nonverbals gove(r)n' though...

The title of this is complete bullshit! Did the writer actually read the study hes referencing? One of the conclusions is that crossed arms is meaningless!

Something I find immensely troubling about these studies is that examples of high status body language are frequently things that I personally find extremely obnoxious or social-norm breakingly rude, to the point that I have often called people out on it.<p>The feet on the table one, for example. To what extent is that signaling high-status simply because it's a very rude thing to do? Is it implausible that a study might come out one day arguing that picking one's nose or scratching one's arse in front of someone is high-status body language for the reason that it is disrespectful to the other party therefore <i>must</i> signal a confidence in the asymmetry of power?<p>I know it's not quite the same, but certainly as a teacher if my students don't sit "properly" on their chairs then I'll make clear that is unacceptable. The older they get, the better they should know, and the harsher I'll be. I've even sent students out of the room for it.<p>In situations where my higher status isn't assumed, the "calling out", however, does not have to be verbal. This picture in particular <a href="http://blog.bufferapp.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Screen-Shot-2013-04-17-at-4.50.09-PM.png" rel="nofollow">http://blog.bufferapp.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Screen-...</a> annoys me just to look at it, and reminds me of formal occasions when someone has been sitting like that and I have conspicuously adjusted my own position so I am sitting straight-backed and upright. I can't remember a time when they haven't broken the pose and adjusted their position likewise. Sometimes it might take an uncomfortable moment of silence, but they <i>will</i> break it. Am I adopting higher-status body language than them and they are keeping up? Maybe, but I don't think so - I believe sitting neatly and smartly in response to their pose just makes them (an <i>adult</i>) feel rather silly and they adjust to nullify that feeling. I mean, if you were being interviewed for a job by someone sitting in one of these supposedly "high-status" but actually pretty damn rude positions, you wouldn't think the interview had even <i>begun</i> yet, would you?<p>Having read other replies in this thread, perhaps I'm wrong, and this means in monkey times (technical term) I'd be the male who beat up the other male for signaling challenging body language - and I doubt I would have lasted long given repeat trials. However, I don't think of it like that. It is simply a matter of respect and etiquette. <i>I'm</i> not the one lying back on my chair or exposing my crotch. "Sit properly!"<p>My experience of social-norms is informed by growing up in middle class England and spending a long time living in Japan. I accept that in both cultures signaling deep understanding of what is polite is the higher-level currency of status. In other parts of the world, and for lower social strata, I appreciate it can be very different.<p>Additionally, in the picture I linked, the fact that the first guy is exposing his feet is probably actually more egregious to my sensibilities than his pose. If he were wearing a suit and smart shoes I think I would respect him more and consider the pose acceptable, I suppose in some way "earned". As it stands, there's just something very - and I realise I may be about to lose anyone on my side up to this point - "punchable" about his face...<p>A final point is that while I find myself in many situations where these displays are considered vulgar, to the point that they counter-signal by betraying a lack of etiquette-knowledge, they do seem to play an important role in the "game" of socialising. I instinctively <i>feel</i> like a "douche" laying my arm across an empty chair next to me or positioning my legs in a way that suggests what is between them is enormous, yet I'll do it anyway when the situation is right and I'll justify it the same way I would "show off" dancing or playing an instrument. But not at work: <a href="http://youtu.be/sEtQj9wuqhs?t=42s" rel="nofollow">http://youtu.be/sEtQj9wuqhs?t=42s</a>.

How can anyone wearing flipflops strike a power-pose? LOL

if you actually have power, you can sit however you like, amirightoramiright?