In the face of a growing culture that makes it wildly impossible for me to enjoy my life, with rigorous criticism and the only friend to be my Terminal and vim where I can type out, hundreds of times a day, things like "$ jangyrun" and "$ git down master"; in the face of speculation of psychosis due to use of the computer system; in the face of a heavily sexist technoculture and a "Black" culture to which I am expected to account for or justify, wherein it itself is ragingly sexist:<p>You win. I am crushed. I will wander these days, perchance sharing what little I know of front-end architecture, but beyond this, I can put forth nothing else. I expect many other developers to fold under the crushing weight of a country lacking any orchestration what-so-ever.<p>And my only lullaby is the dictum, from all of you, that I am "always wrong." No wonder people stand aback, shocked, when I call myself an "idiot" or a "moron." No wonder I seem crude and jaded to women, because when things do not work, they "die" or cumbersome, inelegant, "programmer-talk" is just "more efficient" or what have you; jargon files trapped in the insufficiently neuroplastic fabric-circuitry that is my constructed "mind."<p>If my hands were not so fully alive, from these years of writing code, I would have absolutely nothing to live for. I thank this country for that. And yes, I realize that I am over-generalizing, and I am probably wrong. Or I need more clarity. Or I write too emotionally. Or I'm "batshit." Even you call me a "fool" or go beyond the constraint of constructive criticism to inform me that "dyslexia is a niche" and therefore it is "ugly" -- that I am wasting my time.<p>You did not understand one of these sentences produced here. Of course you didn't.
With hope, the next simulation will be less cruel, or I will simply obey conceptual schemes which generally give us concepts like "banned books" or "dangerous ideas."<p>I will leave you with this, and then I will cease to bother Your Technological Society: Quot capita tot sensus.