I love stories that expose the gender asymmetric nature of typical encounters. That these asymmetries are so deep ingrained in most of our societies and so widely accepted is the problem.<p>It reminds me a bit of the story about the mullah's daughter.<p>(could not find it on the Internet so you have to bear with my narration)<p>===================<p>The daughter of the Mullah comes to her dad and tells him that this honourable young man asked her out.
He swears that he only has honourable intentions and there will be nothing than harmless conversation.<p>The mullah pulls his hair "Oh no, my daughter! You do not understand. This is how this will end: He will pick you up, and be totally honourable when you get into the car with him. On the way to the city he will remember, that he forgot his wallet at home, so he will kindly ask your permission to stop by at his house to get it. Of course you will accept as you don't want to embarrass him. He will drive to his house and tell you he will be right back.<p>But after he got out of the car he will turn around and tell you how impolite it would be to let you wait in the car, and if you would like to come in and wait in the house.<p>You will accept his offer and he will open your door, and politely accompany to the house. There he will introduce you, and then go upstairs to get the wallet from his room.<p>But halfway up the stairs he would turn back and apologize for his incredible rudeness letting you wait in the hallway. He will ask you to accompany him up to his room.<p>You will accept his offer and politely he will lead you to his room and all will be lost!<p>Once you are in his room, he will have his way with you and rob you of your virtue and of your honour and of the honour of the family!"<p>The Mullah almost wept at the imagination of these horrors.<p>The daughter assured her father that she would make sure nothing of that sort would transpire, and the mullah, who always had a soft spot for his daughter did not object to her evening out.<p>The evening came, and the young man, polite and well bred, showed up at the door. He made pleasant small talk with the Mullah and assured him of his incredible esteem of his daughter and his thoroughly honourable intentions.<p>Then they departed and the mullah anxiously awaited the return of his daughter, depicting the disgrace she would suffer in ever more colourful patterns.<p>Finally his daughter came back. Hysterically he asked: "My Daughter! Tell me! What happened this evening?"<p>"Well, he led me to his car, and was the perfect gentlemen. Then he remembered he had forgot his wallet, and asked if I would mind a stop at his house."<p>"Oh no " exclaimed the mullah in despair "What then?"<p>"I agreed because I did not want to embarrass him, and we went to his house. He said I could wait in the car while he was getting his wallet, but when he got out he came over to my side and told me how impolite it would be letting me wait in the car. And if I would like to wait in the house."<p>The mullah felt panic creeping up "And then?"<p>"He politely led me to the house and introduced me. The he went upstairs to get his wallet. But halfway upstairs he turned back and chided himself for his impoliteness and asked me if I wanted to accompany him to his room"<p>The mullah was beside himself "Oh my daughter what has he done to you?"<p>"Don't worry father, as soon as we were in his room, I had my way with him and robbed him of his virtue and of his honour and of the honour of his family."
Is it weird that when I saw the headline I thought this was going to be article about how calling a guy creepy is the same thing as slut-shaming but for males? And that this guy was going to offer up a sort of fix to the problem of inappropriately "creep-shaming" men? Instead I got a humble-brag that reinforces the creep narrative.
The hidden part about this story is that the woman is still not empowered. She's now the princess to the knight in shining armor, rescued from the horrible dragon. The author hasn't changed the narrative, he's completed it.<p>It's still a story where a man decides the outcome. What he did was indeed chivalrous, good even, but chivalry is nothing original.
Honestly while I understand the obvious concerns, I would like to point out that the writer is doing the job of expressing emotions for all the parties involved. An important question is whether verbal communication really implies anything. What if the other guy was stoic and the fact that he himself was being bothered did not matter. What if he was a bisexual. Its important that writer wants to frame himself as hero. But from a more neutral standpoint three people had a conversation and moved on.
"...wore one of those wispy skirts that always make me want to send God a fruit basket for inventing summer."<p>Kind of negates the whole "I'm not a sexist" take on the situation. If you're going to write about how much of a chivalrous guy you are, you should probably also be more careful with the way you describe the thin skirts that you like so much.<p>And the "because I'm a writer" stuff doesn't even make sense. Because he's a writer he noticed someone being creepy and intervened? I don't understand that logic at all.<p>It sounds more like because he's a writer he knew the word "trope" and wanted to jam it into an article.
Men aren't the only ones who just won't take a hint. I had a woman that I finally had to physically stop her by twisting her hands when she pulled the chair I was sitting on out because she insited on dancing with me.<p>So yeah please everybody try to learn to take a hint.