Have you always felt that you had a purpose in life, and regardless of what happens, that conviction never changes even though you don't know exactly what that purpose is?<p>Did you ever have to make a seemingly selfish decision that hurt someone close to you in order to achieve the focus/freedom necessary to fulfill your purpose?<p>Context is that I feel I have a binary decision in life right now:<p>- Simple & safe family life that yields happiness<p>- Difficult & lonely life that yields self actualization and "making difference"
3. Simple & safe family life that yields happiness and the supportive environment and mental health necessary to complete long-term projects.<p>4. Difficult & lonely life that leads to depression and not achieving anything at all.
Using an unknown 'purpose' to justify being a selfish jerk to someone won't make you any less of a selfish jerk.<p>If you really want to be a jerk to someone, stop looking for ways to justify it to yourself and just go own your actions - go be your jerky self.<p>I've personally regretted this every time I've done this (and I've done it more than once), but maybe you're wired differently than me.
> Have you always felt that you had a purpose in life, and regardless of what happens, that conviction never changes even though you don't know exactly what that purpose is?<p>Nothing in life is absolute.<p>> Did you ever have to make a seemingly selfish decision that hurt someone close to you in order to achieve the focus/freedom necessary to fulfill your purpose?<p>Yes.<p>The right way to approach this is to have an excellent #1 which you can fall back on if you're having trouble with #2.
I think both of those options are really about yielding happiness. The first option seems a hell of a lot safer and the second one seems a little uncertain. If it's happiness you're after, then you're more likely to find it in the company of others, than you will in isolation.
This letter by Feynman may help clarify your search for purpose: <a href="http://genius.cat-v.org/richard-feynman/writtings/letters/problems" rel="nofollow">http://genius.cat-v.org/richard-feynman/writtings/letters/pr...</a>
You're young don't think about it so much, just enjoy life and be happy you could be dead tomorrow. Sometimes you just have to be grateful for everything in life. Watch Steve Jobs commencement video maybe that will shine light into your life.