I feel like author went off the rails in a few places, and there were more digs at White Men than I thought was justified (note: I'm a non-white male). It's become somewhat vogue to use "White" as a pejorative and synonym with "bigot", and I'm not okay with that.<p>If we want people to stop seeing us as our collective racial/gender/cultural stereotypes, then we can't engage in the same shenanigans ourselves.<p><i>That being said</i>, this post struck a chord with me. As a pretty vanilla straight male, I can't identify with much of the gender issues she posed, but her blog post reminds me heavily of trying to discuss race on HN.<p>I frequently see some <i>incredibly racist things</i> being posted around here in the comments, and I've basically stopped calling them out. You see a lot of the same reactions in this community as what she describes - a lot of "why are you so angry", a lot of trivialization of the issue, a lot of unexamined privilege, and <i>lots</i> of people reacting very defensively as if simply by pointing out inequities I'm painting a giant bullseye on your racial-majority forehead.<p>These problems exist. They are real. If you are not part of a racial minority you probably won't fully comprehend what it's really like. But that's okay, no one expects you to fully grok it, and no one is calling <i>you</i> out just because you're [insert majority race in whatever locale]. What we <i>do</i> want is some modicum of understanding, some modicum of respect, and less middle-brow dismissals of things that millions upon millions of people are experiencing.<p>So yeah, I think the general thesis of this post is sound. I just wish she were less vitriolic about it - but honestly, having gone through similar things (in a racial, rather than gender, context) I can see why she is.
Quote: "I am less and less interested in engaging with the white male establishment, even though it’s been hard to resist with the deluge of stupid racist, misogynist bullshit they’ve been spewing lately."<p>Translation: because sexism is a problem limited to men, any rhetorical excess is justified by the victim class.<p>I wonder if there's an irony gene, and whether it may sometimes be completely deactivated in some individuals.
"derailing" is a very strange concept.<p>In a conversation, you generally don't get to declare all your premises off-limits, nor do you get to determine unilaterally what the other participants will find most interesting to talk about. Sometimes people will consistently disagree with one or more assumptions you make. If they do, it might be because your assumption is <i>wrong</i> or because you <i>did a poor job of explaining it</i>. In which case it's worth spending some time on that area of contention. And sometimes what you find most interesting about a subject won't be the same thing other people find most interesting - and that's <i>okay</i>.<p>As near as I can tell, complaints about "derailing" translate into "I wanted to <i>make a speech</i>, but the other guy kept insisting on wanting to <i>have a conversation</i>." Is that all there is to it?
Quote: "At the same time, literally thousands of white men have engaged me solely to derail, discredit and co-opt conversation about systemic inequalities and the lived experiences of marginalized and oppressed people in our industry."<p>The solution is so obvious that I am astonished that people like the author haven't thought of it -- stop whining, stop listening to haters of both genders, and start schools and companies with the express aim of teaching women technology, and then employing women. Women helping women.<p>There's no rational basis for the idea that women have any deficits that would prevent this idea from working, indeed all evidence points in the opposite direction: when motivated, women easily produce first-rate technology and personally enriching experiences as well.<p>There's just one tiny, little, trivial, detail -- women must stop playing the victim and blaming men for their problems. This is simultaneously necessary and fair, because the problems women face in 2013 aren't caused by men, they're caused by women.<p>Women have the right to vote, the right to self-determination, the right to an education, and 60% of the money:<p><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/infographic-women-control-the-money-in-america-2012-2" rel="nofollow">http://www.businessinsider.com/infographic-women-control-the...</a><p>Quote: "More women are taking the reins on their finances, holding 60 percent of all personal wealth and 51 percent of all stocks in the U.S. ..."<p>Want to keep feminism from becoming a mildly amusing historical footnote? <i>Stop whining, start networking</i>. Anyone who thinks men are the networking experts haven't watched women communicate information they consider important.<p>The single biggest obstacle to gender equality are women who undermine other women by trying to blame men for problems women can easily solve for themselves.
I'm a white male. I'm a husband. I'm about to become a father (we're avoiding finding out the sex until birth, so there's a 50% chance I'm the father of a daughter). I work in IT. I've worked with a few women. Some of been excellent, some haven't. Just the same as the men I've worked with.<p>I tried to work out what Shanley never, ever wanted to hear again, and I figure that it is the following 7 words.....<p>"I don’t know much about this, but"<p>However, my follow on from the but is; I'd like to get educated. The following are the points I'm taking out of this article (please let me know if I missed any, I am seriously not being sarcastic or a jerk).<p>- do not try to defend the "white male establishment" which I apparently am part of. (I do not feel part of it, but I guess I get lumped in it until I prove I'm not part of it?)<p>- do not attempt to tell a woman what she is feeling (luckily, I've learned this lesson a long time ago)<p>- do not talk about my experiences with women in IT (they are probably outliers like Sheryl Sandberg and Marissa Mayer)<p>- be able to read vague complaints about general sexism with out thinking they're targeted at me<p>They're fairly easy things for me to work on.<p>I would actually be interested in advice from Shanley on what book I should pick up to educate myself with.<p>A wall of passionate words with out a good call to action for white males to pick up on is frustrating to me. I want to try and help, but beyond being the decent human I've been relying on, I'm at a loss.
Men: "Why Are You So Angry?<p>She: "I cannot even tell you how sick I am of men telling me how I feel."<p>I have to admit ... I'm not a native speaker of English, but asking a question and "telling you how to feel" are two different things.<p>TIP #1: Don't call someone an asshole if you want his help. Just saying.<p>EDIT: Getting downvoted because I think that asking a question and telling someone how she feels are two different things?! Interesting...
That article is filled with racist vitriolic nonsense. Any real issues are swept aside with the anger broom so she can make room for her profane fury. Why would I ever engage a person that acts like that in debate, man or woman?
This reminds me of a child having a temper tantrum.<p>Do you want to know why men in general are having problems being feminist allies? Because feminism, at its core, is hatred of men. Why would we want to be part of a group that shows unfiltered contempt for us because we were born male?
I think more men are successful at tech because more enter the field. At my university, which was actually 56% female (IIRC), my electrical engineering classes almost entirely consisted of males.