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My embarrassing picture went viral

165 pointsby ventiover 11 years ago

27 comments

marknutterover 11 years ago
&gt; I don’t generally view my body size as positive or negative — it simply is. I eat right (most of the time) and I exercise (an inordinate amount), but it does little, thanks to a struggle with polycystic ovarian syndrome and a failing thyroid gland. I’m strong, I’m flexible and my doctor assures me my health is good, but the fact remains: I’m larger than someone my height should be.<p>I feel for her and the negative comments are reprehensible, but what I hear in this particular paragraph are excuses. Having issues with POS and the thyroid gland do not make it impossible to lose weight, just more difficult. My advice: ignore the haters and come up with a game plan with your doctor to lose the weight in a steady and health way.
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pmelendezover 11 years ago
I admire her strong character. Most people on that situation would stay still and regret about their selves, but she actually did something about it. That&#x27;s great.<p>Other thing I got from the article is the reminder that I am doing it well in not uploading pictures to Facebook anymore.
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donquichotteover 11 years ago
This is a classic example of open-loop behaviour. People behave like assholes, but don&#x27;t get the feedback they would be getting in real life.<p>It&#x27;s like the restaurant in tourist areas. Bad meals? Unfriendly staff? No problem - the customers won&#x27;t be back, no matter whether the service is good or bad. They are tourists and will go home tomorrow.<p>There&#x27;s no tit for tat, no negative feedback. This doesn&#x27;t work in engineering, and it doesn&#x27;t work in human interaction either.
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kaitaiover 11 years ago
It is sadly typical that this comment thread is full of discussions of how the protagonist should lose weight. Thanks for reminding me, HN, how fat women do not automatically deserve basic politeness [1].<p>I could be a skinnier person myself by counting calories and sprinting along with my Olympic lifting and kettlebell workouts. I know that my effort could be rewarded with a svelter frame. But you know what? I HAVE MORE INTERESTING THINGS TO DO! Maybe the protagonist, too, has something better or more fun to do with her life.<p>[1] A small sampling of evidence: Uberphallus living up to name: &quot;At this point I just don&#x27;t understand why I should feel pity and display consideration to fat people...&quot;<p>Driverdan: &quot;I would also add that people who don&#x27;t have a medical condition and who overeat cause the stigma people with medical conditions receive for being overweight.&quot; (Being fat causes stigma why?)<p>Marknutter: &quot;I feel for her and the negative comments are reprehensible, but what I hear in this particular paragraph are excuses....My advice: ignore the haters and come up with a game plan with your doctor to lose the weight in a steady and health way.&quot; (re: OP&#x27;s paragraph on having PCOS, being healthy.)<p>Alright. Time to do those more interesting things.
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peterwwillisover 11 years ago
The Internet is a town square.<p>You, sitting at home with your friends, might happen across an amusing picture and chuckle at it. Maybe even take some joy at some else&#x27;s pain - we all do that occasionally, it&#x27;s fairly human. While it&#x27;s not a good thing to do all the time, you can enjoy yourself and your friends in privacy. Maybe even poke some good-natured fun.<p>But those comments should remain in your living room. If you saw this person in the middle of the town square, and pointed and laughed at them - that&#x27;s an <i>incredibly, stupendously dick thing</i> to do. It not only is insulting and mean, it encourages others to do the same thing.<p>Real people get hurt. Children commit suicide every year due to online bullying, and adults too. The emotional scars that don&#x27;t kill will still hurt for years. Don&#x27;t be the biggest douchebag in the world, and keep your comments to your living room - and to yourself.
jereover 11 years ago
My favorite part about this thread is people who have abundant energy, high metabolisms, perfect health, who once gained a couple pounds after being exceptionally lazy and indulgent, lost it with no effort, and now think everyone who is overweight is constantly stuffing their face and deserve their plight.<p>Protip: you have no fucking clue what this woman&#x27;s moment to moment life is like.
ce4over 11 years ago
Relevant posting from 2 weeks ago about a similar case (anti hipster): <a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6412708" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=6412708</a>
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lnanek2over 11 years ago
I&#x27;ve been fat before. Used to eat a whole box of chocolate kudos bars a day as a kid. I don&#x27;t think it&#x27;s particularly odd to get made fun of for it. I got to eat the boxes of chocolates after all, it was a trade off. Other people worked harder and cared more about their health and are welcome to their opinions and the benefits of their work. Seems to be kind of shirking responsibility to say no one can criticize you for it. Even if you have health conditions you still have to put enough calories in your mouth to get that large and that is your decision. I think she is kind of hurting herself by wasting so much time issuing take down orders and contacting comment authors. It didn&#x27;t matter what they said, but using up your time to fight them, that actually is a big negative to you, you could be out spending that time enjoying yourself.
GeorgeOrrover 11 years ago
&quot;Why do you think that&#x27;s funny&quot; I loved that. A simple way to remind someone to treat other humans like humans.<p>Thanks for that idea.
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jader201over 11 years ago
I thought one of the more interesting points, at least in the context of HN, was that the Facebook users didn&#x27;t even know she could read her posts.<p>Not that I feel sorry for them, just that so many people use Facebook <i>all the time</i> and have no idea how simple things like this really work and who is able to see their content.<p>How much is posted on Facebook in the view of the public that wasn&#x27;t intended for the public?
Cthulhu_over 11 years ago
(this comment got a bit long. tl;dr, the internet is full of insensitive pricks that don&#x27;t get confronted with their own behaviour)<p>A large percentage of the internet populace is running on autopilot: browse hundreds of random images a day for quick fixes of entertainment, and post the odd impulsive, thoughtless and, most importantly, internet-badassity-enhancing comment.<p>It&#x27;s much more common to be scathing and hurtful on the internet, simply because there is less of, or none of, a &#x27;society filter&#x27; out there. If one were to stand on a soapbox in public and make the kind of remarks people make unashamedly and unfilteredly on the internet, they wouldn&#x27;t be standing there for long and would in all likelihood get called out on their behavior.<p>Not (directly) so on the internet. I can identify two major reasons for that: One, peer groups. Internet douchebags is a major internet peer group, who will e-high-five each other for remarks outlined in the article. Two: Nobody cares. Scathing remarks are made by anonymous people all over the internet, so a lot of people have been desensitised or simply feel powerless, on behalf of not actually knowing the person making the remarks.<p>The difference for that last point lies in community. A lot of these image sharing sites have a loosely-tied, unloyal random userbase, where most commenters will not or never know or recognise each other from other &#x27;threads&#x27;. This in contrast to, say, HN, where people can gain fame and notoriety over time. In the latter category, where comments and the overall mood is much less random and much more focussed at a certain audience, scathing and offensive and plain dumb comments (which is about 99% of youtube comments, for example) will not only be (anonymously, disconnecedly) downvoted, but outright confronted, countered, and the people behind them approached and have their unwanted behaviour pointed out to them.<p>[faux-psychologist]Freud assigned people&#x27;s behavior as a result of the id, ego, and super-ego; on the internet, shielded by anonymity and a high abstraction and reduction of communication to quickly typed, short messages, the super-ego has little power in the big, anonymous communities; there is little to no society that tells people &quot;No, this behavior is unwanted&quot;. This in turn dulls the ego (one&#x27;s rational mind, conscience, etc), allowing the id (the impulsive mind that screams LOL FAT PEOPLE KILL UR SELF LOL) to write a similar blurb onto the internet. Communities like HN have a much stronger super-ego, and unwanted behavior is put down. When the poster approached the commenters, she acted as the super-ego, and the commenters suddenly snapped out of their autopilot, impulsive state of mind, having their conscience suddenly kick in when they realised there was a living person with real feelings behind the 2D image of a random woman dressing up as a character with a different physique.[&#x2F;faux-psychologist]
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xzcvczxover 11 years ago
the thing i find surprising here is that the DMCA (assuming anyway) act is being used for blatant censorship, aka she wants her photo off the internet not because of its artistic qualities but because she doesn&#x27;t like it being on the internet,<p>And while the internet can be rude and obnoxious if she is not careful she has a good chance of doing a streisand by trying to censor the internet using the DMCA which is the wrong tool for the job
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ck2over 11 years ago
So you are saying a service designed for the lowest common denominator suffers from the lowest common denominator abusing it?<p>Why do people have facebook accounts, seriously?
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exo_duzover 11 years ago
Rather than use the criticism to put you down and make you depressed. Use it as a motivation to drive you to achieve what your goals.<p>Saying that though, if you are happy with yourself the way you are. And you are healthy. Then why do you care what faceless people on the Internet think of you?<p>The Internet is full of hateful, little people who hide behind the facade that just because they are online they can be whoever they like. I&#x27;ve been through all this before and I would never let it get me down. Instead I used it to drive me harder to achieve my goals.<p>You are beautiful, keep thinking that and don&#x27;t let these people get you down!!!
joetechover 11 years ago
The internet becomes much more tolerable when you learn to tune out the trolls who find their only happiness in trying to bring down others.
dccoolgaiover 11 years ago
This seems totally related to startups and technology in a concrete way... I can&#x27;t imagine where else on the internet I would be able to see a story like this... We should try to upvote more &quot;human interest&quot; stories like this to block out the noise of boring stuff like Pythonscript people try to get on the FP sometimes ... &lt;3HN!!!
badman_tingover 11 years ago
The only thing I have to contribute is that I&#x27;ve noticed that making fun of people is often assumed to have a hateful undercurrent that isn&#x27;t necessarily there. I mean, the two often go hand in hand, I&#x27;m not denying that, but it&#x27;s really not necessary to hate someone or have contempt for them in order to find their appearance humorous. I feel like that assumption is a little bit too automatic, on both sides.<p>And if you are chiding others for their cruelty, do you not ever laugh at the appearance of another? Really, never? We are all human, and it would be good for each side of this issue to come to understand the other a bit better.<p>&quot;Why do you think that&#x27;s funny?&quot; is a good question for someone who laughs at fat people out of hatred and self-superiority. For someone who is just laughing, though, there is no answer. The effect of explaining a joke is well-understood.
enscrover 11 years ago
I often find that physical problems that have to do with appearance rather than functionality of a human being are often ridiculed at. The ones making fun never realize that they are taking a potshot at something that you often have no control over. Some are sensitive to realize it while others aren&#x27;t. I have friends that fall in both categories. Unless you know the problem, you tend to take it in a light and often mean spirited way. I&#x27;d say that you work towards keeping your spirits high and learn to forgive the ones who are making fun. Most of them are ignorant, not malicious. I applaud your attitude of taking the issue head-on. For my case, I&#x27;ve trained myself to forget such shortcomings with myself and most often I don&#x27;t realize that they exist.
kazagistarover 11 years ago
I remember I was in middle school when I first realized that &quot;funniest home videos&quot; was actually quite distasteful. There were people being hurt; why is there an entire TV show about laughing at them? The joy of &#x2F;r&#x2F;cringe and the like is simply lost on me now.
Ivan_Raikovover 11 years ago
fridge raider. That was good
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drjesusphdover 11 years ago
I think it&#x27;s awesome that you&#x27;re facing this head on, putting yourself out there even more, just to make people aware of a growing problem. Kudos!
kartikkumarover 11 years ago
Who really cares what other people think about you, especially strangers that have no importance in your life? Haters are to be hated, but more than that I honestly think that life is too short to worry about what some random dumbass has to say about you. They&#x27;re quite simply a waste of time and energy.<p>With that said, feel free to hate on me for this post ... cause I won&#x27;t care ...
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djmolluskover 11 years ago
Always better to embrace it instead of fighting it or letting it make you feel bad.
shawkinawover 11 years ago
Never read the comments.
geldedusover 11 years ago
she asked for it :)
a3voicesover 11 years ago
&gt; She reminded me that I was beautiful, and told me I would get through this. And then, like any kick-ass heroines, we came up with a plan.<p>I was hoping the plan would be to lose weight.
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yeover 11 years ago
&gt; <i>shaming me for having the audacity to go in public dressed as a sexy video game character</i><p>I don&#x27;t think she gets it.<p>If you&#x27;re ashamed of how you look, maybe the internet is not the problem.
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