It seems like since 2009 I've done nothing bug fix bugs, really. not my bugs, either. Now I officially work in sustaining engineering but I'm not really good at it. I kind of hate it.<p>I've been trying to build stuff on my own in C/C++ (my day-to-day language, and I don't do it well). I don't think I'm getting any better at development. Things that are obvious to everyone else usually is unknown to me. I wish I could just 'get better' like some of you will inevitably say but how?! I write my own stuff without direction or any real results. I'm very frustrated!!! I don't know what to do! Any mention from me about a new feature or product idea is ALways shot down. They don't want to hear from me.<p>I think I've made a serious error with my career because it seems like I can't get hired anywhere else (I need to interview more, I think, though I can't tell) and none of the development organizations in my company really respect me.<p>Am I done?
Come up with designs for little things you're going to build. Start a Github/Bitbucket project (public or private, your choice). Write the design up, then code it. Start small - I wrote a python script to let me send GitHub gists from the command line and it turned into a multi-month project!
Do you have any mentors or anyone you can reach out to within the company to discuss your ambitions? If all this is not being expressed to anyone, it's easy to keep you where you are, especially when you appear to lack the confidence to move on. Express it in terms that you want to grow as a programmer.<p>Though you are fixing bugs, are you playing an essential role? If you quit, would they hire someone else to fix these bugs? Have you made yourself indispensable? If not, maybe you're not taking on enough responsibilities or taking the lead when you could. Maybe you require too much handling, or maybe you don't. It's possible you're undervalued.<p>Are you skills at fixing bugs any good? You might as well make the best of the situation and improve your skills at testing and code analysis. You will always be fixing bugs in any programming job.<p>It sounds like it could be bad company culture, unaware personal laziness, or a negative problem, or a little bit of everything. But now that you're thinking about your situation and what you want your future to look like, you're in a better position to overcome these obstacles.<p>You asked, "Am I done?" Not even close. Even if you're 10 or more years older than it sounds like you are, you can accomplish a lot over the long haul, even when you're stuck in one spot for the short term.
I know this story, I think most of us suffer from this feeling.<p>First off, we shouldn't just sit down and start typing into a blank page. We all do it, but remind yourself just the same that doing some high-level conceptualization is very helpful.<p>Maybe you are getting overwhelmed thinking about all that you need to do, and it's discouraging you out of being in your "zone"? That happens to me. Remind yourself to only focus on the next five minutes.<p>I'm self taught. I have and had a lot of broken knowledge, misunderstood concepts, etc. I was able to overcome most and self-teach by first trying to find a patch of code that did something similar to what I needed or wanted, and then I copied it and re-purposed it. I truly can't think of a better teaching method than to find and tweak analogous code snippets.<p>I also think you are in a corporate culture that kinda... sucks. It doesn't seem very collaborative. Get out of there as soon as you can, and I mean don't wait till you think you are ready, I mean do it as soon as sanely possible.
The only thing you need to change is your attitude. If you become more balanced (I've noticed a lot of nos and cants here), you'll probably spring back much better.<p>Are there other things in your life that you can change for the better? The answer may be a couple weeks of enjoying time with some friends or family.
To get better, you need to know what to build. You need the path to be laid out before you. That's what college is right? And endless string of projects with clearly defined specifications.<p>With your years of bugfixing experience, you intuitively know what makes working code, but probably feel lost when it comes to architecting a side project from scratch.<p>So, take what you know (your employer's product domain and engineering projects) and rewrite them on your own time. Of course, you probably can't release it due to your employment contract (if it's anything like the usual contract), but that's beside the point.<p>With architecture out of the way, and your super ability to write bug-free tested code, you're forced to focus on your weak area: architecture. It'll be fun. And stress free, since no one will ever see it.
I think it's normal. A lot of programming jobs are maintenance. Try getting a new job. Look to get hired to a team building a new app or doing a rewrite. Or work for a webapp/app consulting firm with lots of new projects. Or take a job at a startup.<p>Also it might help to learn another language or two to get the best job. The best choice depends on where you live. In SF it feels like JS/Python/Ruby/Obj-C are good. Elsewhere, probably Java or Obj-C.<p>Also, getting hired is a numbers game. Keep at it. Read up on latest trends to get hired. Make friends with recruiters, founders, and CTOs. Bug fixing is hard work, so I think you have the aptitude. With some more exp you'll be fine at new development.
Dont take this the wrong way but it sounds more like a self confidence issue more than anything else. In the work environment if you can appear more confident than your peers then you will find they respect you and your suggestions more.<p>Its amazing what a difference it can make.<p>It also sounds like you need to get out there and find yourself a new challenge.<p>You say you have been doing C / C++ development work it should mean you have a good range of skills. Why not look for a new role using a different programming language. You need not be an expert but seeing as you can code most companies would be happy to have you.<p>It would offer you a good platform to renew yourself and make an impact in a different company.
Try setting a simple goal to build - something simple like a webpage that might do some simple animation with javascript & host simple static content, or a program that reads a file and outputs content based on your search parameters.<p>One of the most difficult goals while learning programming I've found is setting reachable goals.