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How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

328 pointsby tmbsundarover 11 years ago

22 comments

jaysonelliotover 11 years ago
I was hoping to see one for my personal bugbear: paralysis of choice.<p>The most common situation for me is to be faced with a list of projects and tasks that are more than I can handle, and doing any one of them means ignoring the others, which are all equally urgent.<p>I know all the GTD and Pomodoro techniques and everything else, but it&#x27;s in my head where the problem lies. Once I settle in to one specific task, I can focus and get into the zone to finish it. But that first step—committing to which thing I&#x27;ll do—is the hardest one. Hours can go by while I&#x27;m avoiding the question altogether. I can literally feel the anxiety in my chest whenever I try to pick one and start doing it.
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asdashoppingover 11 years ago
I have suffered from depression for years and it is destroying my life. I read articles like this and think that what they&#x27;re saying sounds like a great idea, and then proceed to completely ignore it.<p>I have tried multiple types of antidepressants and found the side effects unbearable. They didn&#x27;t make me feel happy, they made me feel nothing.<p>I have tried CBT and regular therapy, both of which have failed because I was unable to motivate myself to actually go.<p>Maybe it is just a matter of changing how I think, but it&#x27;s hard to change how you think when you don&#x27;t even feel in control of your own thoughts. No matter how hard I try, I always fall back into the same patterns.<p>I don&#x27;t why I&#x27;m writing this here. I don&#x27;t know what else to do.
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callum85over 11 years ago
I think this is terrible advice. I got much better at motivation over the last year by thinking in exactly the opposite way from what this article recommends. I accepted that I had virtually no willpower, and that I wasn&#x27;t just going to just magically develop some, and that I didn&#x27;t need it anyway. Instead I needed to get more skilled at &#x27;coaxing&#x27; myself into doing things – at steering my feelings into more constructive areas, and then letting my desires drive my actions. I applied my tiny amount of willpower to this &#x27;steering&#x27;, rather than trying to use it to drag myself kicking and screaming into doing things, which it clearly is not powerful enough to do. It worked, and I&#x27;m much happier. You can&#x27;t &quot;just&quot; do stuff if you don&#x27;t feel like it, as this article suggests. That&#x27;s completely unsustainable. Any approach amounting to &quot;just fucking do it&quot; is going to last only as along as that little glimmer of resolve lasts, which is obviously short term. Instead you need to break down the wall between your gut desires and your cerebral strategies, and make those two parts of yourself acknowledge each other and collaborate.
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chazover 11 years ago
I have found the Pomodoro Technique (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Pomodoro_Technique</a>) to be helpful. I can&#x27;t do it for a whole day, but a short sprint to grind through something is a near, achievable goal. For extended, head-banging frustrations, it&#x27;s helpful to step away, think about it without the distraction of the screen, and coming back at it with fresh eyes. The time AFK is not to be underestimated: <a href="http://www.paulgraham.com/top.html" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.paulgraham.com&#x2F;top.html</a>
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mistercowover 11 years ago
I guess this is <i>marginally</i> better than your typical motivation article, but not much.<p>I really want our culture to shift in a direction where it&#x27;s economically feasible to research nootropics and find ones that are seriously effective.<p>As far as I know, the last time someone put a serious effort into researching a pharmacological aid to &quot;drive&quot; was in the 60s when selegiline was discovered, and it <i>worked</i>. Selegiline is now used for Parkinson&#x27;s. After 40 years they also started using it for depression and dementia.<p>But our society is so averse to transhumanism that not only has that research not been followed up in the last 50 years, but the one drug that <i>does</i> improve motivation is not legally available to non-depressed people with motivation problems.
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sheffover 11 years ago
Another very simple thing I use when procrastination strikes is Seth Roberts Magic Dots technique. ( <a href="http://blog.sethroberts.net/category/procrastination/magic-dots/" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;blog.sethroberts.net&#x2F;category&#x2F;procrastination&#x2F;magic-d...</a> )<p>He came up with it based on reinforcement studies in pigeons. There are more details on the linked page, but basically whilst working you just put a dot on a piece of paper every 6 minutes in the shape of a square, then join all the dots with a line. Something about doing this essentially meaningless thing improves motivation and throughput for me.
habitueover 11 years ago
What about the super common: &quot;I don&#x27;t want to work because there&#x27;s a much more immediate source of dopamine release right here on this page of interesting internet links...&quot;
nathellover 11 years ago
There are problems with all three techniques.<p>The problem with adopting a prevention focus is that it doesn&#x27;t work. Or, rather, it might work when the fear of failure is the only fear at stake, but -- at least for me -- it seldom is. For example, one might have thoughts like &quot;I really need to be doing this, otherwise it might be too late ... hang on, it already might be too late ... I really should check ... but what if it&#x27;s already too late? I&#x27;d feel awful ... no, let&#x27;s not feel awful, let&#x27;s check sometime later.&quot; Poof, thought gone until next time. When you suffer from GAD or any other psychological disorder involving anxiety, about the only thing you can do is understand your fears and your reactions to them, and take small steps towards reinterpretation. Fighting anxiety with inducing more anxiety is not going to work.<p>The problem with ignoring your feelings is that it&#x27;s much easier said than done. Good luck ignoring the urge of turning off the alarm clock when you&#x27;re not even half-conscious, you feel dizzy, sleepy and have headaches. While in #3 the author advises to &quot;embrace the fact that your willpower is limited,&quot; here he seems to forget all about it. In situations like getting up in the morning, techniques involving subconsciousness like [1] are more likely to work.<p>We are more feeling-driven than we think ourselves to be, and that&#x27;s not necessarily a bad thing. Those feelings are there for a reason, and ignoring them might just not work. Indeed, the author acknowledges that &quot;on some level you need to be committed to what you are doing&quot; and I think when he says &quot;ignore not feeling like doing something,&quot; he actually means &quot;_trick_ your mind into starting feeling like doing that.&quot;<p>The problem with using if-then planning is that for some people, it&#x27;s all too easy to change the decision, even if it&#x27;s already been done; the unconscious mind keeps re-examining the decision and re-pondering the issue at hand. So when the time comes, you end up re-considering the decision instead of deliberating what to do. That&#x27;s not exactly the same thing, but it still eats up willpower.<p>[1]: <a href="http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/04/how-to-get-up-right-away-when-your-alarm-goes-off/" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.stevepavlina.com&#x2F;blog&#x2F;2006&#x2F;04&#x2F;how-to-get-up-right...</a>
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einhverfrover 11 years ago
The one thing I find that works with nearly all these is reasonably simple. It may be a broader solution than the Pomodoro Technique but it borrows some of the same focus.<p>What I do is take a task I am avoiding and come up with a small piece of it I can reasonably do as a goal. It might be a task I can do in 15 minutes. It might be something I might need two hours to do.<p>I then follow that to completion, and then decide whether to bump the rest of the task of and get started on something else or whether to continue.<p>Usually for the tasks I feel like I don&#x27;t have a solid grasp on how to do this helps, but I may still bump part of it down the road. For the tasks I am avoiding for administrative reasons or don&#x27;t feel like, this gets me started.<p>An important point though is that the bumped task is less intimidating and smaller than it was when I started, meaning it is less likely to happen again.
nothiggsover 11 years ago
Simply ignoring your feelings to get a job done is just a tactic, and IMHO, not a very good one as it is not sustainable. You should always want to do what you are doing; not necessarily in the sense that this is what you would like to be doing for the rest of your life, but in the sense of recognising that this unpleasant task will get you closer to that something you would like to do the rest of your life.<p>I think the best method to get something done is to first have a clear vision and passion for the bigger picture. Then, understand how this unpleasant task gets you nearer to the goal of that bigger picture that you want. If it does, you won&#x27;t need to ignore your feelings. On the contrary; your feelings will push you to do it. If it doesn&#x27;t, there&#x27;s a good chance you should be doing something else.
enscrover 11 years ago
All these sound interesting to read but none are really practical when it comes to implementing. To a large part, when things have to happen, somehow circumstances contrive you to accomplish it. These &#x27;techniques&#x27; are rarely ground breaking for the true-to-the-spirit procrastinator.<p>What works without fail is peer pressure or a stinging comment.<p>Disclaimer : Personal experience, may not be generalizable.
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edw519over 11 years ago
What&#x27;s next?<p>&quot;How to Make Yourself Have Sex When You Just Don&#x27;t Want To&quot;<p>&quot;How to Make Yourself Eat Krispy Kremes When You Just Don&#x27;t Want To&quot;<p>&quot;How to Make Yourself Love You Children When You Just Don&#x27;t Want To&quot;<p>Here&#x27;s a dirty little secret: You should have an emotional attachment to your work similar to the emotional attachment you have to having sex, eating Krispy Kremes, loving your children, or whatever else is your thing. Others should have to drag you kicking and screaming <i>away</i> from your work.<p>If you &quot;just don&#x27;t want to work&quot; then the wrong question to ask is:<p>&quot;How can I make myself work when I just don&#x27;t want to?&quot;<p>The right question is:<p>&quot;What the hell am I doing working on something that I just don&#x27;t want to work on it the first place and what should I really be working on?&quot;<p>Find the answer to the second question and you will never encounter the first question again.
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plcancelover 11 years ago
Personally, ~80% of the time it&#x27;s this one: &quot;You are putting something off because you are afraid you will screw it up.&quot;
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chubotover 11 years ago
This is kind of funny as I just started reading &quot;Thinking Fast and Slow&quot; by Kahnemann.<p>In those terms, this article is very much about &quot;type 2&quot; processes, which is conscious and slow monitoring of the more intuitive type 1 processes.<p>A consequence is that following this advice will result in &quot;ego depletion&quot;. By exerting your willpower in one area, you deplete a common store of it, and thus you&#x27;re more likely to overeat, act lazily, think lazily, etc. in other areas.<p>I think this probably manifests in people who work too hard getting fat, since they don&#x27;t want to watch what they eat or exercise (if those things require willpower; for some people may not)<p>Note that &quot;conscious willpower&quot; is the opposite of a &quot;flow state&quot;. And flow is what is necessary to write good software.<p>Like all things, there has to be a balance. You have to exert your willpower, and all new things involve this pain, but you can also set your life up so it isn&#x27;t a constant problem.
chegraover 11 years ago
I said this in another comment, but what works for me is publicly pledging to work for x number of hours on y project or else I give z dollars to some charity.<p>Where x is normally between 2-10<p>y is anything<p>z is normally 10<p>If you are procrastinating right now, give it a go. Go on twitter or facebook and say if I don&#x27;t work for 2 hours on Akasha(a project), I will donate $10 to watsi(the charity).<p>I think when setting goals we hope for some reward in the future, but the brain doesn&#x27;t value rewards as much as it hate losses(loss aversion). YMMV
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legoheadover 11 years ago
What about: I am having so much fun doing other things that I don&#x27;t care enough about what I should be doing? (or replace &#x27;should&#x27; with &#x27;know that would make me happier in the long run and also be better for my family&#x27;)
datawanderover 11 years ago
Until I see hard data supporting one way or another, it&#x27;s all bunk and personal anecdote.<p>Though I will comment and say I do like the one about &quot;just show up&quot; rather than waiting for being in the mood.
jaibotover 11 years ago
I&#x27;m working on a way to shame yourself into doing it. <a href="http://powershame.com" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;powershame.com</a>
seeingfurtherover 11 years ago
I&#x27;ll read this later.
leeoniyaover 11 years ago
what works for me, at least in getting through difficult software grinds is commit to some deadline and a presentation of progress to a friend or better yet several friends at once.
a3voicesover 11 years ago
Why would you want to force yourself? Life isn&#x27;t about how much work you can do. If you feel like working, then work. If you don&#x27;t, then don&#x27;t work.
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Fasebookover 11 years ago
What exactly are you building that building it isn&#x27;t already its own reward? Oh, really? I see...
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