same comment I left on the post:<p>This is missing a HUGE aspect of intro etiquette - DOUBLE OPT-IN, almost all the time (and if you aren't sure, then it's ALL the time). If you want your contacts to be worth something, be respectful of them.<p>Here's my "workflow"<p>1. Intro request comes from Bob who wants to meet Jim<p>2. I review Bob's email, make sure it's short and to the point, and includes WHY it's a request. If I don't think it hits the money, send feedback and recommend edits to Bob. Wait for acceptable email - which must be its own, NEW & clean email. [edited for clarity: i inform Bob that I will send him whatever he writes to Jim, thus allowing him to position himself/his need/the opportunity in his own words]<p>3. I forward Bob's entire good email to Jim, which includes <i>MY</i> take on the matter (I think Bob's a great guy, or I am not familiar with Bob's company, but we've worked together before and he's worth meeting, or whatever).<p>4. If, AND ONLY IF, I get a reply from Jim agreeing to the intro, do I continue forward. But if Jim says he doesn't want the intro, I politely decline back to Bob.<p>Personally, I hate it when someone dumps an intro in my lap - it just isn't courteous or respectful in my opinion.
One thing missing here: Ask the "target" person before lobbing an introduction into their inbox.<p>Intros aren't always welcome - the target could be busy, traveling or have a conflict of interest. They may not be in a position to give that person time, however helpful they would like to be. When the supplier assumes the introduction is okay, they can put both sides of the intro in a tough spot.
Well, I guess I have some terrible flavor of social anxiety or something, because it often takes me half an hour or more of ugh to compose even a short reply if I'm introduced to someone, so this ends up being a huge boulder in my todo list. I suppose if people take this attitude in response the situation will simply resolve itself.
1 - Double opt-in like jtoeman says is key<p>2 - "but if someone I intro doesn’t reply before the intro-ee does, they’re going to have a hard time getting another one from me. Ever." I've <i>never</i> heard this before, and am not even sure it's remotely reasonable.
YES! A thousand times yes.<p>This is, far and away, the cleanest and most useful summary of what I believe to be perfect intro etiquette I've ever seen. If everyone did this, the startup world (at least) would be a much better place.<p>[EDIT] I do, however, agree with this: <a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7380538" rel="nofollow">https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7380538</a>
"Intro replies need to be timely. If you’re the one being introduced, it’s your job to reply, and now. If the person you’re being introduced to replies first, you’ve lost the game."<p>So true. Don't half ass it. If you are being introduced to someone then most likely their time is valuable. Why would they bother with you if you don't show them you value them?
Too much of intro etiquette is about personal taste, and there have been dozens of posts on this subject. Ultimately, I just with the author had led with the conclusion, which I believe is the most important part:<p>"Overall, just be timely, use proper grammar, and don’t abuse the intro supplier’s generosity and you’ll be head and shoulders above the majority."
I love the contrast between the super informal language of the intro and the apparently tremendous potential social cost the intro implies. It's like covering an M-16 with Hello Kitty stickers. Has anyone written a novel of manners for Silicon Valley?
I agree with this post on all fronts.<p>What I find most interesting is that this reached the frontpage. I've never actually had people (a) not respond to intros quickly, or (b) not been appreciative.<p>Have you guys had issues with this?
The only thing worse than not responding is giving a weak or half-ass intro. If you're going to intro someone, give them something strong to stand on.