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Ask HN: Email Intro / Rejection Etiquette

7 pointsby lbrabout 11 years ago
Much has been written on email etiquette. Great stuff like blog.42floors.com&#x2F;email-introduction-protocol&#x2F;.<p>But everyone assumes: 1. The introducer wants the two parties to meet. 2. Both parties want to meet. But what if this isn&#x27;t the case.<p>Let&#x27;s say a fried of mine (Jim) asks for an intro with my mentor. And either (a)My mentor says he doesn&#x27;t want to meet Jim. Or (b) I think it&#x27;s a waste of time for my mentor to meet Jim.<p>What do I say to Jim? Tell Jim my mentor is busy? Say &quot;I&#x27;ll check with my mentor,&quot; and not. Is it my job to play gatekeeper for my mentor? Or to repay Jim for the intros he&#x27;s given me (by asking mentor if he has time for Jim)?

2 comments

willpotsabout 11 years ago
Depending on the situation and the relationship you have with Jim, saying &quot;I&#x27;m not in a position to ask for that right now. Happy to help in other ways.&quot; might work.
ColinWrightabout 11 years ago
Why not actually tell Jim the truth? Why not be open and honest? Anything else is being a bit of a douche, no?<p>I assume you would have a reason for declining the opportunity to make the introduction - help Jim to understand that.
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