I believe it's the guilt of those things we did as children that makes us such restrictive parents. We realize that the things we did were dangerous and we don't want that for our kids.<p>Also, back then was a different time. You could do stuff like that, get caught, and not pay a huge price. Now, that's not true, in the US, at least. The climate is one of zero tolerance for stuff mentioned in the article. Example: some kids in the middle school my son goes to played a prank in the computer lab: they swapped a bunch of keys of some of the keyboards. The result? They were banned <i>for life</i> from using computers in the school district (yes, this would follow them to high school). A complete over reaction, but the norm for punishment in the US.
As a student who's followed the rules and essentially played by the book for pretty much my whole life, part of me regrets not doing stuff that defies norm, but another part of me is scared to think what I would look like if I got caught up in the 'wrong' things and never got interested in something useful.<p>I'd say this article is not necessarily the biggest advocate for delinquency, rather, it advocates for self-discovery in children, which is rare in modern parenting and educational systems. Sometimes this 'self-discovery' can lead to incidents of delinquency, but I think it's best to do dumb stuff young so you learn bad from good based on experience.
Seems to be a meme that "back in my day kids just played and that was good!" Yeah, sure I played with Lawn Darts that were basically 12" long pieces of flying death, but I'm pretty sure I was lucky not to get injured. I try and get my son off the computer to do things, but I feel all these articles are more anecdotal than factual. I let my son fire of fireworks and what have you, but having had to rush the neighbor's kid "who doesn't get much supervision" to the hospital, I can say there is no invulnerability shield around children. They should play and have some risks, but as I was recounting just yesterday how I engulfed my childhood best friend in a giant fireball from a a gasoline fire, I was thinking maybe there are some things kids don't need to be doing...
I was very bookish as a child, and rarely did anything quite as exciting as the author describes, so I have a hard time relating. I also wonder if the author would look down on me for that, as the more "adventurous" kids did when I was a child.
In some ways, the most startling thing about this essay is the work affiliation of its author: "John Beckman is an English professor at the United States Naval Academy and the author of 'American Fun: Four Centuries of Joyous Revolt.'" On my own part, as a parent of four children, I encourage my children to be defiant in applying higher principles to analyzing whether or not to follow arbitrary rules. My oldest son coined the phrase "conform to nonconformity" when he was stifled by some of the silly customs at JHU-CTY camp. But for the most part, although young people try random misbehavior all over the world, there is a lot more personal development to be had from self-discipline in pursuit of curiosity and independence than from mindless thrill-seeking.
I am the "free range" parent and my wife is more of a helicopter parent–which is weird because my wife got in way more trouble as a teen.<p>When I was a kid, I took my BB guns places I shouldn't have, I never owned a bike helmet, and trampolines didn't have safety nets. Other than some things like that, I let my kids (ages 6, 8, 9) do as they please during their free time. My over-arching rules for them are "have fun, be kind to each other, and be safe". I'm sure I'll have to set more specific boundaries as they get old but for now it's fun to watch them just be fun, wild, dirty, creative kids.<p>(on a side note, I'm not sure "delinquency" is the term Id use)
As a child, I had all sort of dangerous adventures. As a 5 year olds (I don't really remember this one), we built a bonfire and got caught. As nine year olds we snuck out and went canoeing on "borrowed" canoes. At 12 we played around a farm with petrol. We climbed barn rafters hunting pigeons.<p>At 15-16 I smoked a lot of grass. We misused it and smoked much more than I would now. I had deeply tripy experiences dozens of times. Some of them scary. I don't think grass is bad, but I think it's tricky for kids, especially as it is basically open criminal activity. It create a distance between them and the police/teachers/parents.<p>I wouldn't take any of those experiences back. I find I like people who had such experiences as kids and that when I meet 19-20 year olds without them, I kind of think it's impoverished.<p>OTOH, I can't imagine standing by and letting 15 year olds smoke large quantities of grass or 9 year olds go canoeing by moonlight unsupervised.<p>All those things take casualties.<p>Catch 22.
At the tail end, this goes tragically wrong. The author mentions cocaine, alcohol, and a loaded handgun.<p>One of my kindergarten friends got drunk one night and started playing with a handgun when he was 14. He'll be in prison until he's 45, without help from any cocaine. [1]<p>I think getting into a bit of mischief is a proper part of growing up, but I think the author advocates a bit too much.<p>[1] <a href="http://law.justia.com/cases/minnesota/court-of-appeals/1996/c6952405.html" rel="nofollow">http://law.justia.com/cases/minnesota/court-of-appeals/1996/...</a>
As a parent of two young kids, I agree - as long as the delinquency does not actually injure them or others badly, and they stay away from red-heads with loaded fucking guns!<p>Which is the whole problem - the reason we say "dont do that it will hurt" is that it probably will hurt. Yes kids need to learn their own limits, and I want that to happen. I just would prefer not to have the lesson end in A&E.<p>I think mobile technology will enable a longer "lead" - but then who wants to be on a lead.<p>I think ultimately - I am my dad :-)
<i>"There was one notorious kid with invisible parents who, when he was an eighth grader, already wore the blond bristles of a beard."</i><p>Wonder what happened to him? Sounds like he was on a trajectory leading to problems.
The article fails to realise that in most of the anecdotes retold; today the state would intervene at the behest of a neighbour and "I read it in the New York Times" will not really prevent the investigation into why you allowed your child to play with knives, live for 3 days at the top of a slag heap of rubble or hold a loaded handgun.<p>Also - teenage mortality has reduced drastically[1]. It's hard to argue that could be a bad thing.<p>It is probably because we don't let them (wherever possible) carry out activities that might kill themselves.<p>I am a parent of 3; I will happily take my children mountain climbing, skiing, snowboarding, trekking, wild swimming. In a few years we plan to trek to Everest Base Camp and they are coming with me to the Andes.<p>We engage in <i>controlled risk.</i> If they break a limb skiing then they break a limb skiing. They pushed beyond their abilities in some way. I don't need to give them wrappers of cocaine from a criminal and a handgun to be a better parent.<p>There is also a very real risk of the "Tom Sawyer" bias. Each generation thinks their generation took greater risks and had more vivid adventures than the one previous. The cognitive dissonance curiously avoids the higher levels of child abuse, abduction, injury, poisoning, asphyxiation, malnutrition and disease. My father used to have great adventures playing as a child in asbestos riddled houses. You can talk to his friends about it sometimes...well the few that have not died before 60.<p>Oh look here is a group of kids that used lethal asbestos as chalk. [2] They really learned a valuable lesson about ad-hoc citizenry there.<p>[1]<a href="http://www.cbs.nl/en-GB/menu/themas/gezondheid-welzijn/publicaties/artikelen/archief/2013/2013-3782-wm.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.cbs.nl/en-GB/menu/themas/gezondheid-welzijn/publi...</a>
[2]<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-24942338" rel="nofollow">http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-24942338</a>
If the US were not that culturally focused on suing each other until death for stuff like spilling yourself with hot coffee and then suing McD for damages, kids in the US could be kids again.