I think they overly downplay the effectiveness and efficiency of vanishing. I used to work with a VERY polished salesman, who was the king of making everyone feel at home at his events. He was an absolute gentleman. But you knew he would disappear without saying a word at the end of the night. There would be a car waiting for everyone that needed it, but he wouldn't say Goodbye. Nobody faulted him for it.<p>On the other extreme... I went to a political fundraiser where it was clear the politician worked the room like a, well politician. He made everyone feel important and listened to. After he had done his once-over, he announced, "Thank you all for coming. I apologize for leaving abruptly, I have to go an meet my mom for dinner." I was stunned at how smooth he was.
On a somewhat related note, when you have the time, you can sometimes yield dividends by <i>not</i> ending the conversation at an early point.<p>A 10 minute conversation can teach you a lot or even earn your some goodwill.
I'm pretty bad at this. I lose patience quickly when people don't get the hint that it's time to end the conversation. In these cases I usually just say I have to go to the bathroom or make a call and don't come back.
Regarding the plot towards the end of the article, what does "efficiency" mean? Surely "vanishing" while the other person is still speaking is the fastest way to end a conversation for the least effort.
My success at ending conversations successfully greatly improved once I took formal training in personality types [1] Stick a dozen or two in a room and get a good facilitator to explain how others are. Then you will become so much better at knowing how to end a conversation, or even better, when you should not even bother entering in one. Thinkers; Deciders; Sensors; Feelers, in my learning sessions.<p>As a boss, I told everyone that under stress, I am a huge decider. Don't waste my time with conversation; get to the point. But under normal conditions, I am extremely verbose.<p>I think the "science" part of the article is good, as any formula can help when needed. But I sum up what I think my conversation partner is (thinker, decider, sensor, feeler) so I know how to end the conversation.<p>[1] <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_type" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_type</a>
I used to have long chats on the phone with an EE consultant friend. He was unmarried and lonely and would just never get off the phone. Whatever I said ("well, have a nice day" or some such), he would quickly interject "so tell me what your plans for the holidays are" or some similar opening to keep the conversation going. I found that the only way to end the conversation was to say "I have to go" and he would immediately terminate the call. Weird. He didn't take to email when it became prevalent, so we just don't keep in touch anymore.
This brings to mind a conversation I once had with a smart, young female programmer with a playful sense of humor.<p>Me: I have a meeting.<p>Her: yeah, right.<p>Those were fun times.