The existentialists (well, at least the one that matters, Heidegger) would say that to be human means that one never forgets a deep "uncanniness" or an emptiness, and that part of the drive to succeed (or do drugs or find god or stay busy driving the kids to soccer practice) is a desire to fill up this fundamental emptiness.<p>This emptiness stems from the fact that you consciously wonder who you are ("consciously" meaning with words in your head), and, in the long term, no final answer seems to be forthcoming, even though you may tell yourself otherwise, or go to church to hear someone else tell you, etc. The emptiness is part of the human condition and can't actually be fixed or filled. We all feel it very deeply, and there is a huge industry around making us feel sure of ourselves, and/ or keeping us so busy in the world that we don't have time to contemplate the ever-present internal void.<p>The only "authentic" (Heidegger's term) way forward is to just embrace the "uncanniness", and quit wasting time worrying about how you can't "just enjoy life" or "live always in the moment". I think of this as the way of life that is "un-selfconsciously selfconscious" (tm). Look for my new book in the Self Help section soon!<p>Or, one could also say that Nietszche, Heidegger, and Kierkegaard just had A LOT of bad days and wrote some books about it...
I can't believe how many people agree with this guy.<p>Seriously, why would anyone "break" themselves? I thought we were just learning from our mistakes...<p>I am very productive these days. I think when you truly love what you do, being an entrepreneur is just something you can tell people so they understand _why_ you don't work for someone.<p>I've worked at 9 - 6 before. I will never go back. Mostly because of the reward for not breaking myself and forgetting about what I love.<p>I mean how many people just like the joy of creating something for themselves and no one else. I do.
I think it all boils down to a certain "I'll show them" personality trait that acts as a catalyst when confronted with agony, ridicule, betrayal, lack of recognition, etc.
An interesting take on it, though I would not go so far as to say that you <i>must</i> crave attention and affection in order to be a success.<p>There are other motivations to work hard and succeed that don't spring from inherent flaws in our person and oftentimes these convictions prove to be more selfless and enduring than any narcissistic need for recognition.<p>You don't have to feel unloved in order to be discontented with the state of the world. You don't have to crave the love of others in order to be brokenhearted over the suffering that people go through.<p>In short: a deep and lasting desire to make the world a better place does not first require an unfulfilled need for love. The passion can be fueled by a desire to better the world and the lives of those around us.
Looking at the deluge of success related postings on HN, I wonder if the dirtiest secret of them all may be that success is 95% chance and 5% things that are too heterogenous to classify, even for those who experienced them.
Sounds like there's truth in that, and it's absolutely necessary to be relentless about marketing your product. It's a sad fact that no one cares about your application, book, etc. until you start telling people about it.<p>I wrote about my own experience of marketing in a blog post entitled: If you build it, they will ignore it.<p><a href="http://www.jgc.org/blog/2009/06/if-you-build-it-they-will-ignore-it.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.jgc.org/blog/2009/06/if-you-build-it-they-will-ig...</a>
When I'm working just-for-myself, I am not nearly as focused as when I'm working on someone else's project. I waste a lot of time basically goofing off (like now).<p>I've tried to figure this out, and what Zeldman is talking about is a big part of it. Approval from others is a lot more important to me than I wanted to admit.<p>"Emopreneur". Pretty funny. Is that your own, Jason?
"Talent Code", Daniel Coyle.<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Talent-Code-Greatness-Born-Grown/dp/055380684X/" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Talent-Code-Greatness-Born-Grown/dp/05...</a><p>The book suggests that great talent -- specifically "success" in the athletic / superstar world -- also has environmental factors. There are environment cues that activate subconscious fears. For example, training facilities that train world-class athletes tend to be in the dumps, sending the subconscious cue, "You have to get out of here". Another environmental cue is seeing graduated successes. For example, a soccer talent hub has little kids running around playing soccer, older kids playing pick-up games, amateurs who are trying to make it into the pros, and pros who are both friends and rivals.<p>In regards to financial success, one environmental fear might be having a deep-seated financial insecurity. For example, Tony Robbins was a successful NLP trainer since he was in his early 20s; he made it big briefly than splurge all of his paper wealth. He didn't actually acquire lasting assets until his first child was born. However, it could be argued that since he grew up poor, seeing his newborn child tied into that insecurity he grew up with.<p>I have a book recommended by Tim Ferris called "Leap" (Rick Smith, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Leap-Simple-Changes-Propel-Career/dp/1591842565/" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Leap-Simple-Changes-Propel-Career/dp/1...</a>). I have not yet finished the book. However, Ferris's review (<a href="http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/09/13/bill-gates-risk-taker/" rel="nofollow">http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/09/13/bill-gates-r...</a>) was essentially about how some of the biggest successes actually hedged their risks.<p>I've been setting up a new business right now in real estate. It is very different from what I was used to -- technologies. It is much more people-intensive, and most of the people I am dealing with don't really do emails. (That is changing, but not yet). The fears I usually come up against are the same kind of fears I have the first time I signed LLC paperwork about five years ago. That time, I was physically shaking when I spent three days putting together the operating agreement. The next two business entities I formed were as boring as "going down to the post office and opening up a PO box". My point is, if I try motivating myself with a craving for attention, that's too much of a struggle. That creates paralysis in me. Your mileage may vary.<p>The hack I'm trying now uses a definition of "courage" that wipes away fear going forward.
A part of the human nature is to keep pushing ourselves, keep improving, never becoming fully satisfied - this has resulted in great achievements for our ancestors. This urge to keep improving is a lot stronger for some people than others and I think it's very strong for entrepreneurs.<p>The bottom line is that I don't think the urge for success is driven by a longing for love and approval, but an urge to keep improving and keep getting better. That's at least my drive :-)
I think I caught a similar theme stated differently Thomas J. Stanley's "The Millionaire Mind." He noted that the entrepreneurs weren't the "beautiful people" who had backing, schooling and the right background to be accepted into mainstream, high wage jobs. Not to say that many of those beautiful folks didn't gain wealth, but they often did it as doctors or executives rather than business owners.<p>I think there is a definite need to prove oneself to society, a parent, or a lover that drives those who start businesses, technical or not.
There is some merit here, but I personally don't think life is that hard. There are other sources of drive, don't you think? Like achieving something that nobody else did before? Like getting into the flow of building something?
Funny, I saw an interview with Stelios (of EasyJet, Easy*) and he was saying his motivation was always to prove himself to his father, even after his father died.
Pfft.<p>Yeah, or maybe I just want to get some things done because I'm frustrated with the things around me. People can take their recognition and hang it on a wall.
It's a common knowledge - why, for example, most of world's religions claims that fasting are good - fulfilled body is deaf and dumb.<p>Think about sublimation as a greatest source of power and will.<p>You need to be starved and in need to get maximum of your brain capacity. Or think about visiting an unfamiliar place (city, country) how you became sharp and alerted.<p>So, nothing special. Just pathetic.
What a load of horse sh@#$%.<p>Zeldman is basically trying to explains why he doesn't have any drive and hasn't had a breakout success: because he's so well balanced and normal and all the successful people in the world have some sort of a mental defect.<p>Really?<p>It's not possible to be driven and well-balanced? Everyone who is successful didn't get enough love from daddy?<p>Even if he is right who cares... we're all adults now and have free will. My life kicks ass and I'm driven like a mofo.... and it has nothing to do with money or fame... it has to do with solving problems, building a great team and having fun!<p>Jeff: save the dime store BS and get back to coding some dope shit. Keep trying... as some point you'll get that big exit! Don't give up!