> <i>Most people won’t easily share their emotions. Have frequent informal conversations, and tease out everything that might be wrong. Then fix it if you can.</i><p>This. I've worked with many software organizations who jump to conclusions about their engineers and their reaction about poor performance is usually "we need to fire him/her" or "I don't think I have the right dev team". I always have to ask "When was the last time you asked that person what they really want to do?" The answer is almost universally "not since we hired them". It's a healthy conversation and something that needs to happen more often than it does in engineering teams.
How does an individual contributor (specifically in a startup) get promoted to engineering management?<p>My company is specifically looking to hire a PMP certified manager (externally) to oversee the five person dev team, and there's no way I could get that certification because it requires five years of management experience. Is it worth having a conversation to see if this requirement can be overcome?
All I want from my manager is actually #6: <i>Fire bullies and underperformers</i>.<p>Once we have a team of friendly and skilled people, we can sort everything else out.
These are helpful points. I would like to have some more detail regarding having a "rough edge" when necessary. The articles states “I’m not ok with that” is usually enough. What about when it's not?<p>Some engineers are not as socially smart as they are technically, so they might not understand they just hit a boundary. I think they are still workable though. You just have to be willing to explain things to some.<p>Still, very helpful points, I just want more.
How do I tactfully express a few key points of advice from this article to my manager? He's generally a good manager, just very bad at:<p><i>> 14. Don’t shoot down ideas until it’s necessary.</i><p><i>> 25. Don’t judge too quickly; you’re right less often than you think. Even if you’re sure you’re right in any given case, wait until everyone’s opinion is heard.</i><p><i>> 30. Most conflict happens because people don’t feel heard. Sit down with each person and ask them how they feel. Listen carefully. Then ask again. And again. Then summarize what they said back to them. Most of the time that will solve the problem.</i><p><i>> 34. Use non-violent communication — it’s the best method I know of to critique people’s behavior without offending them. It smells like a management fad, but it really works (I promise).</i><p>Number #34 includes a link to an article on non-violent communication which pretty much sums up why I feel stressed and pressured at work all the time. It's not so much the deadlines, although they are stressful sometimes, it's more my managers communication style.<p><i>> Say you’re an early employee at a startup. You’re probably working 12 to 14 hours a day doing the work of three people. So which question would you prefer to hear from a teammate?<p>A. Will you get your work done this week?
B. What do you need to hit your deadline this week?<p>The first is an example of a closed question. It requires a “yes” or “no” response and does nothing to acknowledge your dedication or address your feelings about it. You know there’s a right answer and a wrong answer, and just knowing that is likely to make you tense, agitated and defensive.</i><p><a href="http://firstround.com/review/power-up-your-team-with-nonviolent-communication-principles/" rel="nofollow">http://firstround.com/review/power-up-your-team-with-nonviol...</a><p>My manager is constantly asking type A questions. It took my a long time to understand why I felt so pressured and this is exactly why. He just wants to hear yes and if he hears no, it feels like I've done something wrong. He is willing to help if that's the case, but every meeting feels like a hostile negotiation.
A manager could be new and he could be managing an Engineer that is has already completed successful projects at the company. In this scenario the manager is actually the one that would be at risk getting fired for being too pushy with the engineer.