I've dealt with depression for quite a while now, for a number of reasons ranging from feeling cynical about a few things, girl problems, rejection, all the way to not feeling like I belong in the place I work from not feeling satisfaction in what I'm making, and feeling really limited in the solutions I can bring to my team. Depression has proven to be huge soup of confusion and feelings that are really difficult to sift through and understand.<p>Hyperbole and a Half couldn't have explained it better:
<a href="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html" rel="nofollow">http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-...</a><p>How have I addressed all this junk? I've been seeing an EMDR therapist for about 7-8 months now and simply talking through these issues, asking hard questions, and confronting my feelings with an honest-as-possible lens. Much of it has been tackling shame head-on, walking past it, and acknowledging how much I've grown into a person I'm starting to love more. Part of it is also finding nuggets of a person I once loved being and reclaiming them, challenging myself to love others without restraint, have empathy, and place others before me.<p>EMDR therapy in particular has been really interesting. While I don't think it's an end-all solution, it has been well researched, and takes talk therapy to a new level. It forces you to process memories as you would while sleeping (specifically, REM sleep), with a hope to reprogram your feelings towards those memories, or scenarios you've created that lead you to believing you're much less of a person than you really are. It plays into the idea that we are our own worst enemy, and say the worst things to ourselves which form our identities, which in turn affects how we work (program), and where we stand with others. "Surely I'm the least [important / impactful / compassionate / loving] person in this room."<p>With all that said, I highly recommend seeking therapy if it's affordable, and most of all, be as truthful and honest with yourself as possible. Confronting your doubts and fears head-on, and replacing them with positive truths about who you are goes a long way, even if it takes some time. It really helps to have a therapist with you to affirm these truths. Remember, they may not know you as well as the people in your life, but that's good, because this person you're seeing is an unbiased support figure, fighting for the potential you have in you. This may not be _the_ solution, but it certainly will push you in the right direction to a life filled with hope.<p>But you know, there's something therapeutic about coding, where solving the many problems we solve give us some sense of a victory. And that's something, isn't it?