Ask HN: Facing unemployment – what now?

47 ポイント投稿者: octo8881日前

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice.I’ll likely be out of a job soon — whether I’m fired or I quit first. Health issues, silent breakdowns, being on the spectrum, poor social skills have caused me to damage my work relationships beyond repair.So, I'm planning my next steps.Some context:- I’m 40.- I struggle with networking, so I have no professional connections.- My savings can last about two year, and a part-time job could stretch that.- I haven’t interviewed in years and get extremely anxious in interviews.- I'm a tech generalist- I'm quite disillusioned with tech + corporate world, and a bit burnt out. This AI hype, Agile, having to fake excitement about the latest shiny new thing, KPIs etc.People say I'm pretty good with 2 non-tech things. There are some relatively easy (but not free) qualifications/courses I could do in those areas (I don't want to dox myself here with specifics). I'm open to being self employed.I also would like to use this time to focus on my health (I have things I need to escalate with my doctor and I need to work on my body), see more of my family, and work on my mental health. I'd also be interested in using my skills for something other than making a rich person richer - something local, for a charity perhaps....or am I dreaming and this an indulgence I can't afford?If you have advice, ideas, personal experiences, etc, I’d really appreciate it.

21 comments

nico1日前

I can relate, been in a very similar situationSome recommendations: take care of yourself, it might feel like a chore, but it’s important. Personally, exercising regularly (15-45 min mon-fri) helped me get out of a very long rutAlso, pace yourself, but keep going, try to apply to 1-2 jobs every day to keep consistencyIf/when you are out of a job, try to keep a project going that makes you feel productive, even if you are not making money, feeling like you got something done makes a huge differenceEdit: use ChatGPT voice mode on your phone to prepare for interviews, it’s pretty good at role playing, coaching and encouragingA bit of a plug: I built this command line tool that uses AI to help you find jobs and track applications - <a href="https://github.com/nicobrenner/commandjobs">https://github.com/nicobrenner/commandjobs</a>Feel free to use it, and would me more than happy if you want to contribute or collaborate on itFinally, a lot of people go through what you are going through, especially people in the spectrum. Try to stay connected to friends, family, loved ones, or even join a group related to one of your interestsGood luck and contact me via GitHub if you want to talk in more detail about anything

chipsrafferty1日前

I'm kinda in a similar situation. ADHD, not autism, but I've struggled to find a job I enjoy and thus struggled to achieve anything impressive in my career. Almost 30. I feel like so many people younger than me have accomplished much more.Also disillusioned with corporate tech and deleted my LinkedIn. I hate networking and my only network is my (actually quite) extensive and good college network.I'm actually great at interviews generally though I've become less confident over time as I don't have many impressive achievements to brag about and the longer your career goes on and you've just "made websites and apps" every year the harder it is to defend increasingly senior positions.Also feeling burnt out and I consider myself a generalist with no amazingly specific skills. Mostly js/ts, web dev, react. Basically the most common shit, I know it best, so nothing makes me stand out.I don't have any advice, just wanted to share you're not alone in feeling these things.

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w10-11日前

First, I wouldn't give up on the work relationships. Even if you damaged them, it's good practice and good karma to try to make amends; people really appreciate others reforming, and they will take you seriously as a person if you do. And even if they balk, you tried, and you can leave with clean hands and new life lessons. But most of all, the regularity of work and home is a good basis for making other life changes. Unemployment changes economic and social and perhaps home context, making it mostly a time to hold things constant to balance the equation; any change is more forced than elected. Better to hold employment but start changing what you want.Ok, not to duck the hypothetical, assuming you do leave (and to add to the other good advice here)...We tend to focus on the things we can control, and things we understand; we stay in a context. A job change is a chance not to be stuck in that mode.The biggest difference in work latitude is the overall need and value flow. It's just easier to be on a big river than a tiny stream, modulo competition. So consider the world in terms on value-flow and competition. E.g., tech value flows can be large but volatile, and competition includes outsourcing and automation on top of new grads. In-person health care services require long credentialing but then are protected by those credentials and the difficulty of automation; but because it's in-person, the value is hard to scale unless you're a rainmaker (i.e., a doctor). And so on.A job change is also a chance to reset your life. Yes, try exercise and address some other self- and social-debt, but don't load yourself with obligations. The key thing is values, how you feel, and your liveliness relative to life. It'd be a good sign when there's a nice view, and you really feel it, without distraction from your psycho-social-economic context. When you discover your values, you pretty naturally start working on them and work isn't hard.

gary17the1日前

> I haven’t interviewed in years and get extremely anxious in interviews.If you are a programmer, the hiring process these days is an unbelievable screw-up with no shred of professionalism whatsoever in many, if not most, cases. Either make a conscious effort not to let it get under your skin or start only with job offers that specifically outline the hiring process as one with a take-home coding assignment, as opposed to all the pair-programming or white-boarding nonsense. Otherwise, it will hurt and you will get discouraged. Also, consider starting to build up reputation on Upwork, etc. as a freelancer. As you gain more clients down the line, you can always just drop the ones you do not enjoy working for.

hbcondo7141日前

If you haven't already, reach out to the non-profit Multiple. Since you already have a tech background & savings, create a startup & apply to their workforce accelerator: <a href="https://www.multiplehub.org/projects/autism-x-workforce-development-accelerator" rel="nofollow">https://www.multiplehub.org/projects/autism-x-workforce-deve...</a>

lubujackson1日前

I went through this exact trajectory last year. Mid-40s with added weight of having a family as a sole earner, and feeling burnout for the first time in my life.Things to do before you leave your current job: - make LinkedIn connections with all your co-workers. Generally co-workers accept those, even if they don't think you're great. The reason for this is to increase your number of "1st/2nd/3rd connections" on LinkedIn. Which likely doesn't matter, but hey why not. - Depending on where you live, you may be able to get unemployment if you quit or fired but not the other way around. So figure that out, as well as what health care looks like for you and plan accordingly. - Update your resume with your current projects etc. if you haven't done that lately.Now once you are free of your current job, don't do any coding for a few months. No interview prep, no learning AI, none of it. Exercise and eat right, as others have said. Have a routine and maybe explore those 2 non-tech things.But give yourself a calendar and come back to things after you've let the burnout fade a bit. Don't rush back after a month because you start to get anxious - your body physically needs to recover.At this point, like it our not, I'd spend time getting comfortable with Cursor and vibe coding tools. Build a thing, see how it works, play around. You won't be able to avoid AI so see how it can help you with what you already know how to do and where it can't help.If you suck at interviews and leet coding, don't worry about it. Take some interviews, bomb them. The goal is to develop a thicker skin, which is the first step. Also, if a company's hiring culture is steeped in crap you hate, you will probably hate the job anyway. If they as you to do a weekend project, prefer to do that. That is likely where you will shine. Plus, it is a good way to practice when unemployed.Lastly, lean into your strengths - generalists and graybeards tend to be great at startups because they can pump things out and understand the big picture. Look for roles on sites like WellFound rather than LinkedIn. If you use LinkedIn, really only jobs through recruiters bear fruit nowadays.

nuancebydefault1日前

Sounds like you need a break of 3 months to half a year, where you don't think about work. Do stuff that gives you energy. Hiking in nature, visit friends, make or listen to music. Do meditation (just search for a meditation audio/video on YouTube if you do not know where to start. If you can afford it, seek professional counseling. Make sure to exercise or at least walk a lot. Write regularly in a journal what gave energy, what took energy and how you are feeling. Keep in touch with family and friends. Good luck!

anigbrowl1日前

Pick up an exercise program and give it 5-10 hours a week. It'll give you routine, non-critical goals that you can just plod toward even on days you don't feel like it (but you'll feel better afterward), improve your general health, and provide you with a topic for small talk. Yes, pursue your non-tech interests.

kccqzy1日前

You are way too pessimistic. It would help if you find ways to make yourself more optimistic, whether that's through a long break or exercise or nature or your hobbies. I suggest starting with a long break.> I’m 40.If you think that's too old, no it's not. My manager is older than that when he got the current job.> I struggle with networking, so I have no professional connections.If you have coworkers you have professional connections.> My savings can last about two yearThat's not bad at all. Feel free to spend a half year to one year taking a break and the rest of the time preparing your next steps.> I haven’t interviewed in years and get extremely anxious in interviews.You need to be more confident in yourself. Interviewing is a skill that can be learned. Not being anxious also can be learned.

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RhysabOweyn1日前

If you have the means/opportunity to go back to school and do another profession that you have interest in, I recommend it. That is precisely what I did with my SWE earnings. Take it slow though, I breezed through a harder degree plan my first time around college and proceeded to do much worse at the start when I went back. I had to be realistic and take a lighter course load.

guga42k1日前

A bit unorthodox advice, start lifting weights. Heavy. Aim to build strength, not muscles or look. 40s is a great age to do this, better than 50s for sure. For men, physical strength gives more confidence, and problems which you perceive hard will look less so when you are able to deadlift 500lb. And yeah, don't quit your current job without getting new one. Bad idea. And don't give away anything for free to your employer.If they want to fire you, make them sweat (in some places it is not easy process).ps: speaking of taking 3-6-12 months off advises. Irrelevant of your situation, I think we are living through interesting part of the "hockey stick" curve when being out for one year could mean end of the tech career. Things move way too fast, and gaining velocity.

MaxGripe1日前

Create 2+ distinct LinkedIn profiles optimized for maximum SEO. No generalizations - focus on highly specific skills (omit irrelevant ones). Do not duplicate names, for example, use only the first initial in one case (must be real but not a 1:1 copy of another account). Fully complete the profiles (100%), adding comments and tags wherever possible. Then, prepare an epic CV that stands out from others (if someone has 100 CVs on their desk, they should pick yours without even reading it).

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nyarlathotep_1日前

Continue applying--the lead time to finding a new job is often months for people in similar positions/already laid off.You might need 6 months or more to find a new gig, and the response rate for applying is very low across the board.I'm in a similar position, and would love to take time off, but I'm actively launching resumes into the ether to see what happens in the interim.Plenty of scams, and lots of "ghosting."

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GarnetFloride1日前

Your city should have job search group of some kind. Try your college's alumni association, or the local university's if different.See what your local business development resources are, local universities often have something, the Chamber of Commerce can also help.Get a notebook and do Julie Cameron morning pages. Get a lot of stuff out of your head.Take some walks.

pavel_lishin1日前

> - I struggle with networking, so I have no professional connections.Do you have former coworkers? If so, you have professional connections, no?

rootnod31日前

What area are you in?I get the disillusion. If your saving last you a while, it might be worth to work on something for yourself. It doesn't have to be a multi million dollar VC startup. Just something that pays the bills and is sustainable.Best advice for now might be to just at least for 3-6 months take a break, work on stuff you enjoy and see from there.

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yorkyarn約23時間前

Advice: By independently developing a product with AI that helps a specific community and can generate long-term profits — that’s what I’m doing, inspired by Sahil Lavingia.

giantg21日前

I'm about to be fired. I plan on applying to places, but ultimately it seems that I'll end up working retail or similar.

ost-ing1日前

From my own personal experience with burnout, what I learnt was that life isn’t linear, and no matter how hard you work to make it feel that it is, your dharma will humble you in some way shape or form. Our society falls drastically short on helping us deal with the actualities of life, or even worst, society deceives us, and as a result we can feel stranded, and have little in our toolbox to navigate through the harder times.I learnt that sacrifice was a necessary part of life. Giving up substantial money working a full time job to pursue my own business and health goals. 5 years later, I still have to make that sacrifice as many companies only hire FTE, but thats the price I will pay for my freedom.The financial sacrifice has been considerable, but thats just how it is, and thats OK, because what I get in return is greater; self-determination, flexibility, spontaneity, opportunity, and best of all, I get to build stuff that actually interests me.The other thing I got in return is the ability to challenge myself in the most optimal way possible to advance my skills and grow as a person. A comfy webdev job is an insidious way to atrophy the body, mind and spirit.The reality is, had I not changed path, I probably would be still burnt out so I didn't really have a choice in the matter, the signs were so obvious you’d have to have your head in the sand to ignore them! I remember the weakness I felt, waking up so exhausted, frail, like an old man! Thats no way to live.Some more actionable advice:1. I have pretty intense ADHD, and I certainly don't fit the corporate mould. Neurodivergence can be a gift if you can wield it. I get hyperfocus from my work (I did 14h today, and would have done more if my partner hadn't stopped me), it fits in with entrepreneurship for sure.2. Consistent Exercise is one of the most crucial things I learnt to do. It literally changed my life and lifted me (no pun intended) out of my burnout, depression and addictions. I started going to the gym 3-4 times a week, hitting the 90deg sauna afterwards. I never liked gyms or that culture, so this really says a lot. I cant emphasise enough how much this helped me.3. Don't be afraid of letting go if what you are holding onto makes you miserable. Trust in yourself.Good luck. Feel free to dm me if you want to talk more.

burnt-resistor1日前

Visit Silicon Valley for a month or 2.0. Go to lots and lots of meetups and related tech conferences/community meetings.1. Hang out in coffee shops around after lunch and after normal work business hours in Silicon Valley including Red Rock and ones in SF. This is when people are most likely to be hustling on side projects.2. Talk to strangers with laptops.Notes:i. Whenever you meet people, exchange first/last name + phone + email. The easiest way post-Bump shutdown is to create a QR barcode in VCF encoding containing your name, email, and phone number. This is even better than a business card because it works with every smartphone without an app. I taped one to the back of my slim magsafe wallet.ii. Write a personalized (not ChatGPT) greeting/thank you email to everyone you make contact with the day of or the day after.If jobs oppy's don't find you, launch a consulting business. A US LLC is cheap and getting a business bank account is easy, and makes it so megacorps can hire you and pay your company in a manner that looks official.Moreover, one of the best paths forward for stable happiness would be a company in the form of a worker-owned co-op who do consultingish things, have subscribers, and sell/license products. Megacorps will always let you down just as soon as the market softens. A very small but talented band of creatives, coders, business, and sales people can create opportunities by delivering excellent value for their customers.

alganet1日前

Advice: apply for job interviews.

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