The Myth of Quality Time

We will find out in the years to come that presence (non-distracted, non-judging, authentic presence) is like sunlight to whoever you give it to.<p>You want your child to grow (intellectually, emotionally, etc.)? Be present. Watch them (with silent happy interest) while they&#x27;re playing. Look into their eyes. Talk to them and be interested in what they&#x27;re telling you.<p>Presence is so deeply important in a way we still can only guess at. And the lack of it is so much more harmful than we yet know.

As with many things, I think time spent is best a balance of the two sides (quantity vs quality). Quantity means little if you&#x27;re constantly distracted, and quality means little if you don&#x27;t have enough to warm up the engine.

I guess the every family is different. The key is to being present, either physically, or virtually via one of the many social networks. Just being able to reach out is important.<p>I just finish Scott Berkun&#x27;s frank novel [1] about his relationship with his father. It pains me to see how Scott&#x27;s attempts to reach out his father goes unanswered. Unfortunately, he was not successful is forming a close bond with his father. One takeaway I got from Scott&#x27;s book is to create access for you and your family to connect. Without this access, communication is not possible even if you want to. Obvious but easy to forget.<p>[1] - <a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;scottberkun.com&#x2F;the-ghost-of-my-father&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;scottberkun.com&#x2F;the-ghost-of-my-father&#x2F;</a>

I find the quality of the writing quite impressive. Probably because it is vocabulary rich, with very well built sentences, while avoiding being pompous.

What I like about this is it&#x27;s basically advocating that quality time is a &#x27;flow&#x27; activity, that requires adequate time, and the right environment, for flow to occur.

Wow. I expected some pointless &#x27;mi mi feelings&#x27; garbage but it actually had content and conveyed a message. He has to realize, though, that this is not possible for all families because some people just don&#x27;t get along (or unforgiveable things happened between them), and then such a week together would be a torture. While I agree with him on how bonding works, I want to carefully select the people with whom I spend this amount of time. Because social interaction is very tiring and ultimately unrewarding if I put up with the wrong people.<p>Also, klean92 is right, the quality of the text is good and it was a pleasant read.

Seriously? One week is too long to spend with those you love? Seriously?<p>One week per year is barely 2% of your time!<p>One week is too short!

Nice. I recognize the feelings&#x2F;experiences he describes. My grandmother&#x27;s birthday used to be the weekend we all got together with the extended family. She had 8 kids, who each had three kids, some of whom had their own, etc. so the group was quite a bit larger (80+ including her great-grandkids). She passed 4 years ago at the age of 96 and the get-togethers have stopped. I kind of miss them. It was a great way to experience &quot;the circle of life.&quot; Have a few nice &quot;4 generations in one picture&quot;-shots.

awesome