VCs, don't compare me to your wife

So, I wrote the article and the thing that is the most interesting to me is that I am getting an incredible amount of positive responses to my post (outside of HN). Especially from women who feel like I expressed something that they are struggling with.<p>We want to be taken seriously for our companies and our minds. All we want is to walk into the room and be an entrepreneur. Not a woman, or looked at through the lens of a &quot;wife&quot; or &quot;mother&quot;<p>I don&#x27;t know if it is the anonymity, but the discussion here seems so negative. With a lot of cheap shots at me, and hell of a lot of assumptions made. Really lacking in nuance and honestly- lacking in respect.<p>This was hard for me to write. It has been hard for me to deal with and I didn&#x27;t take a cheap shot at the VC. I could have ruined his life&#x2F;career but I just wanted to make a point, and show people what women have to deal with in an honest and frank manner.

jesus christ! what are these comments? there is a valid point here. i don&#x27;t even like how the author writes but the point is this, taken from a response: &gt;&gt; Imagine how many opportunities this firm has walked past because they’re old school. Shouldn’t their LPs be concerned?<p>What do you mean &quot;old school?&quot;. I am from the other side of the planet than the US and i am statistically flooded with stories of the problem of under funding women, with discrimination based on sex and with the pregnancy issue as a roadblock to career for women. how can a manager in a VC have an &quot;old school&quot; opinion in 2016? these days you either have one opinion or the other, there is nothing &quot;new school&quot; in realizing that women are less funded because their biologic life is seen as a liability by the males of the species who have all the money. Jesus!! Old school??<p>Your wife? You are someone who should be smart enough to predict success and you bet other people&#x27;s money but you know so little about a woman&#x27;s determination that your best answer is by proxying to your nearest women.<p>This is like me having a billion dollars explaining that i believe rockets are not funded as easily as dating apps because I am old school and i think all physicists are nerdy introverts and they&#x27;ll never be good at running a business because they rather stay and read science fiction books all day long, and i know that because my physicist cousin who is also a drunk is exactly like that.<p>And quotas? Who is even talking about quotas? Amazing!

<i>Entrepreneurs - and we are a totally different breed of human being than just about anyone else.</i><p>Anyone else cringe at this part?

These threads on HN are always extremely rough to read. I wonder what would need to happen for a more productive conversation around this topic to be possible? More participation, more moderation, better understanding, what would it take?

&gt; When you ask me about having it all, or how am I going to manage my kids, I seriously think that you are insane. Because in my head, I can’t imagine a scenario where you trust someone with millions of dollars to run a business but think that they don’t know how to deal with childcare.<p>Is that not why they ask the question then?? If they don&#x27;t think someone can handle childcare, then the author is right, they won&#x27;t trust that person with millions of dollars.

I wouldn&#x27;t want to invest in or work for someone who was so quick to play the victim card.

Much like confessing a dark secret, breaking-up, asking someone out, etc, my policy has never been to initiate or allow any serious, longwinded conversation over mobile&#x2F;phone text.

Wait a second. Is this author saying that as a woman, she <i>doesn&#x27;t</i> have any special insight into female users, isn&#x27;t closer to the female audience, and doesn&#x27;t bring any special female viewpoints into tech?<p>And in fact, the only similarity between her and another person is if the person is also an entrepreneur? There is no special female perspective, and therefore we don&#x27;t get diversity of viewpoints or other cognitive benefits just by having more women?<p>That sure seems to contradict the narrative.

I respect the writer drawing this conclusion based on a conversation. But can we have the chat from the beginning instead of just a few texts starting from <i>Honestly- I&#x27;m the wrong person to ask. I think mothers have more important things to do ... be mothers</i>?<p>I am not taking the VC&#x27;s side but let&#x27;s see the entire chat then form an opinion as the said VC isn&#x27;t here to defend himself.

Just writing this comment because I think @sarahnadav deserves some support here, from a dude (like myself), but also from the community in general! She is bringing some shit to light that may have not been seen before. If this is how one VC is, in one instance, maybe there&#x27;s a lot that we&#x27;re not seeing? This could be just the tip of the iceberg! Maybe other VCs could benefit from seeing this post and thinking, &quot;I wouldn&#x27;t want to be that guy in this conversation, what a jerk&quot;.<p>I&#x27;m pretty upset that most of these comments (well, I guess most HN comments are like this) are trying to be so contrarian - why not just be supportive of something for once? Is the OP someone with a horrible track record of lying...<p>...or is she just a woman honestly trying to raise money and start a business, something many of the posters on here are trying to do as well?

A VC should focus on the profitability of the investment, everything else is potentially noise.

Seeing the text thread just reinforces my opinion that &quot;VC&#x27;s&quot; are semi literate morons who happen to have stupid money.<p>I&#x27;ll be a programmer until the day I die, but FUCK that aspect of this industry. The information age was born in California, in the most liberal, feminist, and intelligent crucible of the Bay Area, and these shit weasels have come swooping in to scrape their money of the top. It absolutely sickens me, and I will jump with joy the day this bubble bursts and leaves these fuckers high and dry.

I suppose that VCs can compare you to whomever and whatever they like when they have money that you are professionally begging for.

This &quot;female founder&quot; lacks diligence. There are many wrong things:<p>1. The guy on the conversation has an opinion. Everyone is entitled to his opinion. He is clearly not the guy doing the picking&#x2F;selection. Just a stuff crew. Shaming people for their opinions (it&#x27;d have been worse to name him) is just as racist&#x2F;sexist as you endure.<p>2. Every one, race, religion... goes through this. You can&#x27;t prevent selection bias. But you might be able to defeat it with your startup performance. Human are biased, and trying to change their minds will not work. Which will lead us to the third point.<p>3. Markets will decide. In a capitalist market, the inefficient guy will not stand for long. In the long term, the efficient guy will win. Which is probably why software is eating the world. If women are better (or equal), things will work out in their favour on the long term. (e.g.: a VC that keeps an eye on female-founders because they are under-valued).<p>Conclusion: Don&#x27;t write offensive and controversial blog posts when you are trying to raise money.

Just curious: have any male founders here been asked the childcare question whilst pitching VCs?

This blog article is a good test of prospective startup founders. Ask startup founder what they think and you quickly know if you do not want to work with them.

At first, I was thinking that &quot;your wife&quot; was a stand-in for someone who is not involved with your business, in the context of figuring out who your customers are.

&gt; tell you to STFU every single time<p>People who have be told to STFU over last 2 weeks.<p>1. marc andreessen<p>2. gloria steinem<p>3. stephen fry<p>4. margaret albright<p>5. richard dawkins<p>6. Meryl streep<p>If ppl like these who have public speaking experience are getting stfu then what chance do ordinary people have .

OP here. AMA

Super unpopular opinion incoming.<p>The guy was taken out of context and clearly said he was trying to explain why the number of female founders was less. His thoughts had to do with not many of them applying because they prefer to be mothers. Does not matter if thats true or not, what matters is less apply.<p>Also, the affirmative action think irks me. Statistically 99% of pitches dont get funded. If there is 19 male pitches for every female pitch, does that mean that the female should get funding because its less common?<p>I would feel disgusted as a woman to know I got funded just to have a quota filled and a box checked. When a woman pitches with a great idea, it should be seen as a success, not as a VC giving out charity. This stuff really takes away from the accomplishments of women and I hate it. The fact that you think that more women should have been funded just because they are women lets your bias shine through. Newsflash, Women and minorities can have, and usually do, just as shitty business ideas as CIS white men.

I don&#x27;t know the author, or her life circumstances, but to believe that &#x27;Because in my head, I can’t imagine a scenario where you trust someone with millions of dollars to run a business but think that they don’t know how to deal with childcare.&#x27; Is just sexism is idiotic.<p>It isn&#x27;t the childcare itself, is the pregnancy and the 1st year that is the &#x27;problem&#x27;. Women can and are as good entrepreneurs as men, but if for a second you think (exceptions excluded) women, during pregnancy and first months of a newborn can run a business without sacrificing something you must never been around that scenario. And if I was going to put a million dollars in your business and there is even a 5% chance you may end up pregnant, it will indeed be a minus in my book (as an investment though)<p>You either sacrifice the health of your baby with long nights, long working hours, stress, etc, or you sacrifice the company when you take those 2-3 days because morning sickness or tiredness don&#x27;t allow you to be on your best.<p>Is it unfair? Yes, very, but pregnancy and breastfeeding is something that takes a toll on women and no matter what a partner tries to do to help, he can&#x27;t really carry the baby in is belly or start producing milk. Think of it this way, if the entrepreneur was a man, it would be akin to asking how he would expect to keep focusing on their sports career (5+ hours practise a day) and running a VC-based startup.

You asked this guy why there weren&#x27;t more female founders, so he gave you his personal opinion backed with his personal experience with his wife. Would you prefer that he lie to you instead?

It&#x27;s the same when an investor ask you do you have a job? are you going to quit it for your project? are you going to stick with your project long enough? Investors want you to have 100% of your time to your project, it&#x27;s just how it works.