Hi, I'm a developer but i'm not so friendly, communicative, talkative (in fact i'm real lousy at that) if I improve these areas I would benefit so much. Anyone has tips/books/psycho/tricks that can help me be a very friendly, talkative, communicative, funny developer?
Alcohol, ecstasy and cocaine might be of help: only in terms of a mind-state reference point.<p>People that have had cocaine try and remember what it's like to be in that cocky and confident state and relive it. Also the memories of being drunk: if you can trick your mind into behaving tipsy or loose. Or the openness of ecstasy.<p>If only you could put yourself in these states without actually needing those substances. (btw, I am not suggesting you dabble in drugs at all)
"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." Wilson Mizner<p>Friendly - practice smiling by thinking about something you enjoy.<p>Talkative - focus on asking good questions.<p>Communicative - consider who you are talking to and what they are asking for. Real communication isn't what's said, it's what is understood, so you need to ask questions to make sure you were understood.<p>Funny - "The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." Somerset Maugham (It works for me).
Look people in the eye when you're talking to them. This helps me focus on the conversation and not get distracted, and it also helps to convey to other people that I'm focusing on them.
Talkative:
* Make a question
* Hear the answer
* Repeat the answer with your own words
* Relate yourself with the answer: me too and... / not me, but I experienced something similar...
* Repeat
Lots of good ideas here. One thing, its probably easiest if you start with people with very similar interests (development or otherwise) so you know the topic well.