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Ask HN: What streetsmarts have you learnt?

129 点作者 Terry_B大约 15 年前
Hey guys,<p>I was listening to a podcast that made me realize how I'm surrounded by book smart people and am mostly book smart myself. I'm sure this describes a lot of people here on HN.<p>As an aspiring entrepreneur I'm striving to become more street smart and to be able to persuade people, not get screwed over, negotiate well, create and see opportunities, be able to make things happen that other people can't etc etc.<p>What stories do people have of experiences, lessons, things they have seen or read that they feel have taught them some more street smarts? Would love to hear them.<p>The irony of looking for books on how to become more street smart is not lost on me btw.<p>Thanks!

36 条评论

AnonynonyCoward大约 15 年前
The most limited resource you have is not money, it is time. One Year of your life is a HUGE piece of your life. If life expectancy is around 70, and you don't really get full control of your life until you're around 20, then you have 50 years of life that you can direct as you will. One year is a whopping 2% of that. So wasting even a year being stuck in a crappy job or otherwise undesirable situation is a bad bad deal, even if you're getting paid big money. You need to be doing whatever it is that you really want to be doing, whatever it is that you're innately wired for and drawn to ... and you need to be doing it <i>right now</i>. If not, then you need to be <i>on a road that will get you there</i>, and that road needs to have a realistic chance of getting you there <i>very soon</i>. Because remember, 50 years is the <i>optimistic</i> number. You might only have 5, or 1. Stop chasing the dollar or whatever else leads you astray, and start doing whatever it is you are "meant" to be doing. ASAP.
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snowbird122大约 15 年前
Bring your boss options, not problems. Your boss has plenty of problems. Don't add to the collection. When you bring options, you also get the chance to influence the direction of the company. One problem at a time.
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lionhearted大约 15 年前
Track record, track record, track record, track record. Look at the track record. Track records don't lie. Track record, track record, track record.<p>Someone fired from all their jobs is probably going to be a menace later in some form or fashion.<p>Someone who ended all their relationships on bad terms is going to end on bad terms with you.<p>Strong starters/non-finishers are going to start strong but likely won't be able to close it out without extra help later... which you might be oblivious to, because they'd started so strongly.<p>Track records don't lie. Unless you're <i>really</i> good at spotting diamonds in the rough, don't grab someone with a bad track record for an important role in your business and life. I've learned this one the hard way too many times. I still get tempted with, "Wow, this guy/girl is so amazing, the problem must've been the other people..."<p>I'm trying to not do that any more. Once? Quite possibly a fluke. Twice? Maybe... Three times? That's a track record. Also, people will always say they've changed. It's probably a bad idea to be the first person to test out whether it's real or not.
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JangoSteve大约 15 年前
I usually write full posts on this sort of thing, so I'll just pick one very simple (albeit very important) lesson I've learned the hard way:<p><i>You haven't made money until it's in the bank.</i>
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erikstarck大约 15 年前
Yesterday I was told a story about a successful man who was asked "how did you become successful?".<p>"Two words", he replied. "Right decisions".<p>"So, how do you make the right decisions?"<p>"One word: experience".<p>"OK, so how do you get experience?"<p>"Two words", the man replied: "wrong decisions".<p>Yeah, I know. Pretty corny. :)
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r0s大约 15 年前
<i>Eighty percent of success is showing up.</i> -Woody Allen<p>Punctuality has paid off well for me. Seriously, show up to work on time everyday and make everyone look bad in comparison.<p>Customer service has also been a very valuable experience, dealing with a whole range of people. Learning the art has given me the confidence to interact with <i>anyone</i>, from executive to teenager, co-worker to police officer. Persuading isn't really my forte, but my bullshit detector is well honed.<p>My advice is get a job in a fast paced but low risk service environment that serves a range of people, the classic example is waiting tables. Master this and then use what you've learned.
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AnonynonyCoward大约 15 年前
This is from Jerry Weinberg, and also directly from my own experience. When you're paid to help someone accomplish a goal (whether as employee or consultant), you can only help in the areas where <i>they are giving you permission to help.</i> You may see some area where the company is misguided, and you may indeed have the knowledge or skill to help that area tremendously. But if they are not giving you permission to help that area, then you will only hurt yourself and the company by trying to "force" your help in that area. Stick to areas where they've given you permission, and learn to let the rest roll off your back like water off a duck. Over time, that may even gain you opportunities to help in other areas as well.
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Maven911大约 15 年前
I really don't like the word "street smarts". Mostly because I am a book smart person. I've heard the same refrain self-proclaimed over and over again since high school "I might not get good grades, but at least I have street smarts".<p>Street smarts is really just a euphimism for doing bad academically. Now I do acknowledge that that there are a lot of important skills such as knowing how to sell, talk to people, make a pitch, get along,...but I would call that "social skills" or "social smarts"...not "street smarts"<p>Street smarts for me is literally knowing how to handle the streets...like a drug-dealer would...
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kilian大约 15 年前
I have two things:<p>1. <i>Just ask.</i> Seriously. There is so much that people want but don't get simply because they don't ask and assume the person will reply negatively anyway. Asking doesn't cost anything.<p>2. <i>if you can figure something out, say you can already do it</i>. Obviously, you need to know your abilities here. But if someone asks a quote to do something in Tech X, and you think you might but haven't done anything with it...just say yes. People like confident people. and I'm sure you like new well-paying, interesting projects. (The caveat here is that you need to know what to say yes to.)
AnonynonyCoward大约 15 年前
Look at people's actions, not their words, and it becomes pretty obvious what they're working towards. Some people and companies have <i>incredible</i> smokescreens. The most powerful smokescreens usually have to do with claims of morality, often tied to religion. The best of these smokescreens will fool almost everyone around. But if you look at actions and ignore words, you will be able to see right through such smokescreens, giving you significant insight that will help you in your situation.
sankyo大约 15 年前
if you want to get people to buy into your idea, you often have to convince them that the idea was their own.
adsyoung大约 15 年前
I read something once that said you should do as many deals as possible.<p>In theory, whenever you do a deal (a good deal), you are getting something you want and so is the other party. So the more deals you do, the more progress you are making towards things that you want and hopefully only giving up things you are happy to give up.<p>I have to say I haven't done as many deals as I would like.<p>Part of doing deals seems to be having the imagination and experience to think about what is possible simply as habit, rather than just accepting the standard way that people do things by default. It's a hard habit to learn.
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spitfire大约 15 年前
Always look straight ahead when at the urinal.
bonsaitree大约 15 年前
Overt initial intimidation is usually an attempt to mask a weakness or fundamental flaw (<i>Thanks Dad!</i>).<p>This lesson has applied equally well to middle-school brawls, sports competitions, college professors, and litigious organizations.
RevRal大约 15 年前
On crafting a good personal character there are two words: <i>convincingness</i> and <i>credibility</i>. In any situation, you must always be convincing in what you do and say, and in a way that puts you in a good light without undermining your credibility.<p>This doesn't just mean "don't lie" or "don't get caught lying." It means that whatever courses of action you choose to take, you have to make sure that they are convincing and congruent with the environment. A magician is very convincing.<p>Things aren't always about facts but about emotions, what people <i>see</i>, or how things appear, and about the people you surround yourself with -- the people others will see, then proceed to judge you by -- and how you handle yourself in budding relationships. Don't be afraid to accept favors and give favors without the presumption of your favor being returned. Franklin has said something on this to the effect of "ask to borrow people's books, even though you don't intend on reading it."
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redorb大约 15 年前
reevaluate your situation often to make sure that you are getting paid per your value / not per the hour or age or need. It's important to make sure that you know your value.
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rogerclark大约 15 年前
The artificial dichotomy of "book smarts" vs. "street smarts" is a poisonous one.
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etherael大约 15 年前
Very little exists within a vacuum, whenever you make an important choice you're choosing a philosophical position. Always understand the angle of the factions you align yourself with, pick accordingly.<p>Things are rarely so cut and dried nowadays that you can easily understand what factions you're aligning yourself with so careful analysis is called for. Who do you work for? What do they do? Why do they do it this way? What are their dependencies, what is the ecosystem that each of these dependencies links into, and so on, and so forth.<p>Also, good way to analyse something from a competitive perspective too, weaknesses become clear. Everything has them, it's just a question of what's important to you.
dbz大约 15 年前
I hope this comment is taken the right way. I don't want to boast, but I have to say some things which will sound like bragging (even though it isn't) in order explain my 'ness' =]. Furthermore, a lot of what I say may be controversial to some and won't be appreciated. Also, I can't recommend you do anything I do, because even though it works for me, it will most likely have unintended consequences for you.<p>I use my street smarts every day. I may say the same thing to ten people ten different ways- not because I want to `change things up,` but because I analyze and judge everyone I meet upon every occasion I have. It also helps that my verbal IQ is off the charts (and therefore placed in the 99.99th percentile). This allows me to articulate and find words that accurately represent the people I meet, and understand them more. (Please note I am dyslexic and have processing difficulties which mean how I write is not representative of my verbal IQ because I can't process fast enough while writing to say coherently what I think like I can when I am talking. &#60;- example there)<p>(1) Analyze every person and remember it<p>The importance of what I am doing is used when I get in a sticky situation. <i>There are two types of people, those who give excuses, and those who solve problems</i>. I use what I learn and assume(#1) about people to describe to them in the most effective way possible what needs to be done. When I present ideas to people, I don't present ideas- <i>I present the problem and why the idea solves it</i>. (#1 cont. Don't tell a person what you assume about his or her character- not only is it unbecoming, it will probably piss him or her off unless it is a special circumstance)<p>(2) Become the person who is (known for) immediately <i>solving</i> problems<p>I, unfortunately, break a commandment more than I should. I lie. When I lie, I don't think that the most important thing is not to get caught. I think about how the lie is helpful, and how I am going to expose the lie later ESPECIALLY if the person knows I am lying. For example, I had a tutor who was approaching a subject I could not talk about for a reason I will not explain. This is the kind of guy who will not accept an "excuse" for not talking about a subject regardless of the validity. In this circumstance, talking about the subject (it was personal) would be detrimental to our working relationship and the time would be better spent working on something else..So I lied. I did not lie elaborately, but I lied in a fashion where I knew he would believe me. Three hours after he left, I wrote him an email apologizing for my lie, explaining why I did it and the benefits it had. He was not upset about it, but understanding and appreciated the honesty, ironic huh?<p>(3) Choose your words carefully<p>Nothing is free. When you accept something from a friend, even if it is explicitly spoken that no strings are attached, you owe them. Of course this may actually be the kind of person where he or she truly believes that you do not owe them anything, but expect it. <i>When you deliver a favor, unless explicitly stated and agreed upon, the person receiving the favor owes you nothing</i>, so don't ask for anything in return. I know, I am saying "<i>Be the person you do not expect anyone else to be</i>". However, if you want to enter show biz and need connections and will have to rely on people to make your way to the top, make damn sure you can rely on who you are relying on.<p>(4) <i>Low expectations cost you nothing, but let you reap the benefits of positive events</i><p>Unfortunately, a lot of the <i>rules</i> I live by don't allow me to be an open person. I don't like to talk about myself, ect. Today, I had a very in-depth conversation with a friend who I consider to be one of my closed friends. She is one of my closed friends because I know if were in another state- and I needed a way to get somewhere else, she would drop everything and drive cross country to help me. I talked to her today about some of my problems and I brought her to tears. She explained how she feels like she didn't know me very well and how she feels like she has failed as a friend because she didn't know me better, and she wished that she could have "watched movies and ate ice creme with" me during all the times I have had trouble because of depression or my pet dying ect. because that's what she would have done. I had to explain to her that it wasn't her fault but mine for being the kind of person who isn't sharing. At the moment, lots of bad things are happening to me even though I don't deserve them (I'm not going to talk to everyone about them, but I talked to her about them), and she got very angry, and didn't understand why I am so forgiving to others. Why don't I hold grudges? Why did I forgive her for being a "bad" friend? Why am I understanding when I <i>shouldn't</i> be? Why don't I just accept (things)? I responded with,<p>(5 part 1) <i>Forgive and Forget(However, learn the lessons of the situation.), Cut your losses, Make your next plan, and execute.</i> [I'm clearly an introvert] (5 part 2) <i>Most heroes fail before they become successful</i><p>Most of what I have said applies to my weird social situations. One last piece of advice which is on my mind- I have purposefully saved for last. When you are in egypt, please don't accept a tour of the mountains in the valley of the kings from a kind local (long story). Again, when you are above under-ground tombs and locals want to give you a tour. Please don't take it (long story). Furthermore, if you are going to take it, PLEASE walk behind them. (Again long story).<p>(6) <i>Just because you can, doesn't mean you should</i> - Well, that is all I can think of off the top of my head. This is unedited and probably contains errors. I can also see you saying I am FOS. But you need to realize, <i>We all live in our own world</i>. I'd appreciate anything anyone has to say to me- especially if you think I am FOS, but please- respond tactfully.
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hardik大约 15 年前
May sound simplistic:<p>* Communicating with others what you feel.<p>* It is mostly chaos, everywhere.<p>* Do not drop your ideas thinking "Its so simple, someone must have already done it." People do much less that what you may expect"<p>* A very very small percentage of people within any system understand the "full picture"
drKarl大约 15 年前
When dealing with someone, especially a co-worker, tell them about their mistakes privately and praise their succeses in public.
dasil003大约 15 年前
Just wanted to say this is one of the best Ask HN topics ever.<p>I wish I had some street smarts to distill down to a comment, but it's difficult.<p>At 31 I feel like I'm getting my feet under me in that department a little bit. When I look back at myself at 21 it's almost embarrassing how naïve I was. I guess the biggest thing for me was just thinking more actively about other people's interests and motivations. It's sort of disillusioning and machiavellian in a way, but if you don't you will get taken advantage of.
patricia大约 15 年前
Mine: 1. Loose lips sink ships 2. There is no deal until a contract is sign, and then once a contract is signed, no deal until the check cashes. 3. Have a good attorney
tayip9大约 15 年前
The biggest thing I've learned over the years is to take into account different perspectives in any sort of situation. Whether it is conflict resolution or negotiations, you open up possibilities when you look at things in someone else's shoes. This also works great in problem solving. When I get stuck on a problem, I think about how a person admire might tackle the problem.
Debugreality大约 15 年前
Developing the core functionality is only 30% (or less) of the work, creating a finished product requires a lot of spit and polish!
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arethuza大约 15 年前
People often criticize of their own weaknesses.<p>When making a sales pitch to solve a problem, confidence is <i>everything</i>.<p>Intelligence is not a scalar quantity.<p>When on the receiving end of a sales pitch, make sure that the technical guy making the pitch are actually responsible for the delivery.<p>Marketing and sales are generally more important than technology.
AnonynonyCoward大约 15 年前
From my grandfather: Be good if you can, and if you can't, then be good at it. Be good if you can, and if you can't, then name it after me. Be good if you can, and if you can't, don't get caught. Be good if you can, and if you can't, have fun.
ErrantX大约 15 年前
I've learned three things.<p>1) Most of the time stuff works itself out so long as you don't let it worry you too much.<p>2) Being <i>sincerely</i> polite, courteous and helpful will take you a long way<p>3) If you get trod on, snap their foot off and beat them into submission (metaphorically).
garply将近 15 年前
If you are buying something by weight, bring a scale with you.<p>To prevent people from stalling or from providing poor service, find something to threaten them with. Examples that I find myself saying frequently: "Let me talk to your boss", "I will report you to the authorities", "If you don't follow through on your end of the bargain, I'm going to take you to court."<p>A similar tactic: when bargaining, pull out the money that you're willing to pay, say "I'm willing to give you this much for that item, if you don't accept it, I'm leaving" - and then leave if they don't immediately accept. Usually you will have what you want at the given price within the minute.
roel_v大约 15 年前
Many of the replies so far are more 'general life advise' answers. To me 'street smarts' is what the rich people that I know are - none of them have degrees, but they're all wealthier than the educated people like doctors, lawyers, engineers etc. around here. These are all people who run retail or wholesale businesses, small chains of Walmart-style shops, building materials, run contracting/real estate development companies, even fast food joints - that sort of thing. These people can't tell Australia from Africa if you give them a map, and none of them have ever heard about a sine or integral or Pointcare's conjecture, yet they drive Maseratis and have dozens of properties. Why did these guys succeed and others businesses fail or barely make enough to live off? That is what street smarts is to me, what these entrepreneurs have that made their businesses a success, and what others lacked.<p>Anyway in trying to identify the nature of this street smarts, I have analyzed some of these people that I know, asking them questions that are still appropriate (i.e., not straight-out asking them about money) and don't make me look like a weirdo as much as I could, and keeping in mind a certain sort of anti-intellectualism that many of them exhibit (and that, in some cases, has paid off very well for them). I recognize that my thought processes are so far away from theirs that it's very easy to fall back into cargo-cult imitation, but still, I think that a large part of their success is in their deal-making capabilities. This breaks apart in two phases: phase one is connecting to the right people, phase two is making the actual, concrete deal.<p>Phase 1 is facilitated by having a large network, just knowing many people, and this is done by being a person that people want to be around with - be a nice guy, but not a pushover, be confident, dominant without being an asshole, and be in general nice to be around. This is a hard challenge to me, it isn't easy to get to know as many people as possible, letting them know what you do and finding out what they do, and making that all happen naturally. E.g. it's easy to 'meet' random people by chatting them up in the supermarket - but how will you tell them what business you're in? Smalltalk about the weather will only get you so far, how do you (efficiently, i.e. without turning them into full-blown friends with the associated time investment) get them to the point where they remember you as the go-to guy in your line of business, or get them to the point where you can call them when you need something, so that you always have an 'acquaintance' for whatever you need, who you can call?<p>Then there is phase 2, which can basically be summed up by "at any point in any any negotiation, you need to remain willing to drop everything and just walk away". This means being very aware of cognitive biases such as loss aversion etc. You have to be tough as nails here - be on friendly terms with people, so that they want to help you out, yet not exploit them because that will blow your relationship with them. You have to get people to a point where they are <i>happy</i> if they can do you a favor.<p>This is already getting too long, but let me share with you one (in my opinion) example of 'street smarts' that the Belgian and German readers will recognize: the soccer keeper (goalie) Jean-Marie Pfaff. He used to be the keeper for the Belgian national team, he also played for Bayern Munchen in the 90's I think. Anyway he has a reality TV show now, his daughters are models and kinda famous so they all ride the tails of his fame now, kinda like Hulk Hogan.<p>Anyway like I said, he has this reality TV show. In one episode, and this really struck me, there was a guy who was living in the same village as Jean-Maria and he came to the door of his villa, rang the bell and dropped off a bag of potatoes. Not ordered or anything, he had just harvested, has potatoes, and thought to drop off this bag. He was so eager to please this rich/famous guy that he'd out of nowhere brought him a 3 euro bag of potatoes. That, to me, means that this Pfaff guy has street smarts - he manages to be so likable that people that they do thing they'd not do for others.
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gsk大约 15 年前
Have compassion. Without compassion, I would not have saved someone very close to me from debilitating alcoholism, I would not have worked my life around to be able to work on a startup for the past six months (and know I will have the support to make it from those around me). All those 'smart' actions, words are only sustainable if they are the consequence of something deeper.
jacquesm大约 15 年前
The longer it takes to learn a lesson the harder it will be when you do.
ahoyhere大约 15 年前
Here's what I've learned - pretty much all the hard way.<p>I guess most people will focus on business facts, but underneath all those are human facts… and those lessons are what I consider the most valuable.<p>1a. Life is suffering. No, really. Accept it and then you realize that basically to have a body &#38; a consciousness is to suffer, and a lot of it is unavoidable. Then you don't feel like just cuz something hurts, you have to change it. Nerves will always hurt. Once you can accept it, you can stop wasting your time on the pointless shit.<p>1b. Emotions are like weather, sometimes they don't mean anything… and just because you feel something, doesn't make it true. (Good OR bad.) Just because you feel like something is happening TO you, doesn't make that true, either. It's usually not actually about you. And if you assume that good feeling = good thing/I'm right, or that bad feeling = bad thing/this is wrong, you'll be analytically hobbled.<p>(These sounds harsh, but think about it.)<p>2. Most people don't live their lives by deliberately examining their actions &#38; beliefs and deciding what they want to live up to. If they have integrity, it's often by 'accident,' not design, so if you deal with a person who works with integrity once, they may not next time. There's no point in blaming them if you assume wrongly about them.<p>3. Some people think on, &#38; play, a meta-game. If you don't, you have to learn, because there will be people around you playing at 30 levels deep and if you just believe the surface level, you will come away with an incomplete picture.<p>4. Really failing, getting kicked in the face by life, is awesome, because you can only know how much you can do when you have to crawl up from rock bottom. I could go broke and become homeless tomorrow, and it would suck, but I wouldn't be afraid. I could work my way up (again). But before the 1st time, I was terrified all the time by nameless middle class angst about the silliest little things, because I had never been tested, and I had never proven myself.<p>5. We're all human, so we all have the same basic flaws. People live locked up in their own little heads, thinking they are better or worse than other people, not realizing that's just a trick of being only aware of your <i>own</i> consciousness. It's also easy to look at other people who have a great-looking or terrible-looking life on the surface, and make incorrect assumptions about what's going on inside them, and how they got there. Your problems, flaws, limitations, are not special, and neither is your defense of them. (And neither are other people's.)<p>6. Being true, having integrity, and loving people are the best things in life. Consciously deciding to have integrity and take responsibility for my life was the most important thing I ever did. Consciously deciding to stop letting my fear of social situations conquer me, and go out there, and expose myself, and be the friend I wanted to have, led to the first true friends I'd ever had (and many more after that). And consciously deciding to stop beating myself up over mistakes I'd made, to look at them, accept them, and understand that I'm only human, made a huge difference in my well-being.<p>7. When you've suffered, don't look at other people suffering and say "Well, I did it, why shouldn't they?" -- think expansively, givingly, compassionately. Everyone will be happier.<p>8. It's almost impossible to help people if you don't understand people. But truly understanding yourself, 100%, and being mindful in your daily life, will help you understand what it is to be human, because you will see all your little evasions, flaws, wiggling -- and your pleasures, joys, and little moments of happiness and insight.<p>9. (And, by the way, the best products show a true understanding of what it means to be human.)<p>I consider people my mission.
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nato1138大约 15 年前
BE SO GOOD THEY CANT IGNORE YOU
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zackattack大约 15 年前
People are always acting in their self-interest, whether they're aware of it or not.<p>If you're going to engage in criminal behavior, don't: if something goes wrong you have no recourse.
wendroid大约 15 年前
Hitting people with a house brick makes them stop chasing you.