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How to Raise a Creative Child – Step One: Back Off (2016)

517 点作者 bensummers大约 8 年前

34 条评论

replicatorblog大约 8 年前
<i>In adulthood, many prodigies become experts in their fields and leaders in their organizations. Yet only a fraction of gifted children eventually become revolutionary adult creators.</i><p>My daughter is being treated for Leukemia by some amazing doctors at Boston Children&#x27;s Hospital. To my knowledge, none of the health care professionals at this world-class institution have won Nobel Prizes in medicine. All the same, for my daughter&#x27;s sake, I&#x27;m still glad they hit the books for a couple decades.<p>There are great honor and value in doing an important job consistently and well. This idea that a life is wasted if you don&#x27;t remake a field in your image seems hollow when these prodigies often end up with the power to save lives.
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padobson大约 8 年前
<i>The parents of ordinary children had an average of six rules, like specific schedules for homework and bedtime. Parents of highly creative children had an average of fewer than one rule.</i><p>I grew up in a household where compliance to parental authority was the prevailing rule. This made me fairly compliant as an adult (which opens you up for exploitation by peers and authority figures), but this wasn&#x27;t too difficult to unravel with a few dozen sessions of therapy.<p>As a result, I pass down very few rules as a parent, and it&#x27;s been a joy to watch my daughter&#x27;s creativity blossom. We&#x27;ve done what the article suggests - provided moral guidelines to live by, rather than any strict set of rules.<p>She loves real estate - specifically interior design, but also analyzing neighborhoods, improving curb appeal, and understanding what makes a good school district. I think the seeds were planted when I was taking her with me in the evenings to do various handyman tasks at our rental property. We would stop for ice cream and she would sit there and eat it while I put together furniture or changed light bulbs or swept common areas.<p>And while our lax rules have certainly inspired creativity and fed into her individuality, it hasn&#x27;t done a great deal to build work ethic. I&#x27;m aware of the stereotype of parents believing their kids are lazy, so I&#x27;m open to being wrong here.<p>Striking a balance between giving a kid a framework to discover herself but also emphasizing the importance of work ethic is probably my greatest concern as a parent. I don&#x27;t want to stifle her from dreaming, but I want her to do what&#x27;s necessary to accomplish those dreams too.<p>My big question is this: when the time comes to put in the work the accomplish what she wants, is she going to be ready to put down the ice cream spoon and pick up a screw driver?<p>I don&#x27;t know. But I&#x27;m going to continue with the light touch and hope for the best.
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shouldbworking大约 8 年前
I may be biased from my own experience, but I remember being incredibly frustrated at a young age from the lack of help understanding things I was &quot;too young&quot; for. My role models and teachers made zero efforts to help me learn analog circuit design and my first programming language, Perl. This made it much harder than it would have been if I was attending actual classes, and probably set back my understanding many years.<p>I&#x27;m not sure how much of an outlier I am, but our education system is not built for creative types. It&#x27;s too hard to get placed in anything significantly above your grade level, especially if your brilliance is restricted to a single subject. I remember showing an bistable flipflop design to my science teacher in 5th grade and getting a puzzled &quot;that&#x27;s nice Johnny&quot; type look when I wanted help figuring out why my breadboard version wouldn&#x27;t oscillate. A few of my skills were so beyond what anyone expected that they didn&#x27;t know what to do with me, or what they were even looking at, so they did nothing.<p>It took another eleven years before I had contact with any teachers that matched my experience level with programming and circuit design. During that time I advanced my skills slightly, but not having any peers made me an outcast and certainly left me far behind where I could have been.<p>Backing off is a bad idea. You need to take your child&#x27;s curiousity and do everything you can to keep it alive. I&#x27;m sure a lot of kids started out like me but eventually let their dreams die.
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mathattack大约 8 年前
<i>Consider the nation’s most prestigious award for scientifically gifted high school students, the Westinghouse Science Talent Search, called the Super Bowl of science by one American president. From its inception in 1942 until 1994, the search recognized more than 2000 precocious teenagers as finalists. But just 1 percent ended up making the National Academy of Sciences, and just eight have won Nobel Prizes. </i><p>8 out of 2000 is a lot higher than most any other sample group.
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luckyt大约 8 年前
&gt; just eight have won Nobel Prizes<p>You pick 2000 teenagers, and 8 go on to win a Nobel Prize, and you&#x27;re still not satisfied? High expectations much...
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ucontrol大约 8 年前
A dull article ridden with blatantly false claims and oversimplification of an otherwise complicated topic.<p>&gt;Gifted children who have a noticeable head start and whose skill development begins remarkably early _do not_ usually end up being game changing professionals in their respective fields.<p>Really now?<p>&gt;Developing a skill set early on leads to competence in what is learned but stumps creativity and chances of innovation.<p>So having an deep, innate, intuitive grasp of a certain set of knowledge, made possible by said early exposure and disciplined training, has nothing to do with genius and potential inventive achievement in later life? But rather, it only allows for uncreative competence in what is learned and practiced, that and only that?<p>Really?<p>Is this man serious? How does something like this even pass for an article? How much thinking goes into writing something like this? Christ almighty.<p>I love it because the very things that Mr. Grant here paints as inhibitory to creativity are exactly the essential components of creative genius! His information is not only incorrect, it is the exact opposite of how things do work in real life.<p>It&#x27;s not a zero sum game. Both of aspects in question - Disciplined skill development as well as Creativity - are essential for intellectual success and are interdependent.<p>Structure, discipline, strong parent engagement and emphasis on learning and skill development, AS WELL AS creative undertakings, play, leisurely engagement, passionate tinkering &#x2F; creation - both aspects are crucial.<p>In order to be able to create, the child has to imitate first. In order to fall in love with a pursuit, it has to be exposed to it first. And in order to be creatively successful in a pursuit, the child has to be very skilled in it first. And parents&#x27; intervention, guidance and support are very important in this regard.
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hellofunk大约 8 年前
&gt; The gifted learn to play magnificent Mozart melodies, but rarely compose their own original scores.<p>Performing music and writing music are really very different art forms. I&#x27;m surprised this NY Times author has conflated the two. Writing music is not the next step after learning to play music.
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kiyanwang大约 8 年前
<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;L%C3%A1szl%C3%B3_Polg%C3%A1r#Education_and_career" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;L%C3%A1szl%C3%B3_Polg%C3%A1r#E...</a><p>I remember reading some of László Polgár work after becoming interested in how he raised three daughters, two became chess prodigies, the third a concert musician. He posited that &quot;that any child has the innate capacity to become a genius in any chosen field, as long as education starts before their third birthday and they begin to specialise at six&quot;. This seems at odds with the notion that parents should &quot;back off&quot;.
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CuriouslyC大约 8 年前
My personal theory on this is twofold:<p>1.) High achievers are used to pushing at things to win. Creativity is like a garden - you have to do some tending, but then you have to back off and let the plants grow. Fiddling doesn&#x27;t help, in fact you&#x27;re liable to end up killing the plants.<p>2.) Smart people actually learn too fast. Creativity requires very broad neural connectivity, and I think fast learning tends to produce neural networks with sparse connectivity to different areas. This is supported to a degree by learning in artificial neural networks. When the learning rate in artificial neural networks is too fast, this can cause the network parameters to converge prematurely. This premature convergence typically results in poor generalization performance. It is also worth noting that human brains mature more slowly than those of previous hominids and great apes.
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bitJericho大约 8 年前
It&#x27;s so important to let your kid think. I see parents helicoptering and it&#x27;s very damaging. I had met a couple at a friendly gathering that brought their 2 year old. Not only could he hardly talk, which was surprising to me, he had no chance to make any decision. The child and his parents were paging through a sales flyer, because they didn&#x27;t think to bring suitable activities, and they were ogling over toys. So I pointed to the knives on a page that came up and joined in, &quot;oh let&#x27;s get these&quot; and the child instinctively said yeah! Then I could see the clockworks moving and before the kid could say anything the parents chimed in. A missed opportunity to let the kid make his own, good, decision. I fear he&#x27;ll grow up and fail to make decisions at all.<p>Conversely, with my children, I try to talk with them as much as I can, and let them talk too. I let them order food themselves and I demand good table manners. That doesn&#x27;t mean they can&#x27;t be children, but they are not allowed to climb under or on the table, or be a nuisance. An easy fix for a problem child in a restaurant is to leave. The child must learn that there are consequences. The child wont go? Leave without them and they will freak and catch up. They fail that drag them out. Saying no and sticking with it is important, but equally important is giving the child a chance to catch up, mentally, with decision making and situational awareness.
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paganel大约 8 年前
&gt; When Dr. Bloom’s team interviewed tennis players who were ranked in the top 10 in the world, they were not, to paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, doing push-ups since they were a fetus.<p>And then you see a clip of 5-year old Messi (<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=9DWZ0fD64Uk" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=9DWZ0fD64Uk</a>) demolishing the other 5-year old kids who happened to share the same football field as him and realize that &quot;letting your kid be creative&quot; and all this mumbo-jumbo talk doesn&#x27;t mean anything unless your kid doesn&#x27;t have the inside genius-like quality. Bonus link, the Maradona childhood tricks: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=WAjQ7NF8Hj0" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=WAjQ7NF8Hj0</a>
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Jimmy大约 8 年前
&gt;What holds them back is that they don’t learn to be original.<p>More than likely, they simply lacked the capacity to be original (as in, world-class historical originality, which is the subject under discussion here), just in the same way that almost all people lack this capacity. It&#x27;s only particularly surprising that child prodigies rarely become adult geniuses if you confuse genius with the capacity to learn information and acquire skills. Mastering calculus at age 6, though highly unusual, does not in itself constitute original work, and, going off of the data, is not an extremely strong indicator of the presence of the capacity to do original work.<p>So you can&#x27;t necessarily expect creativity-focused interventions on child prodigies to produce more revolutionary geniuses than normal.
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nnfy大约 8 年前
Nurture should follow nature. No single parenting style will fit every child. Some children need to be pushed harder, some need more freedom; what&#x27;s important is to recognize what works and what doesn&#x27;t and accommodate as necessary. Of course, this is not an easy task, and you only get one chance.<p>I think the most important thing, however, is to provide resources for learning, far beyond what is available in our pitiful public education system, which is designed more to cater to the mean and less to allow remarkable students to fully excel.
Profragile大约 8 年前
My Step 1 would be: Don&#x27;t listen to an internet article on how to raise a fucking child... specially if it&#x27;s a NYT article.
ziikutv大约 8 年前
Being a good parent is becoming an increasing concern of mine as I am reaching an age where I could probably get married in some parts of the world. Its giving me anxiety, wanting to be not a shitty father...<p>Digression aside:<p>&gt; Creativity may be hard to nurture, but it’s easy to thwart.<p>There are many parents though that do just to opposite by not backing off no? This is sort of generalizing, but kids from Asian countries are a great counterpoint to this. With that in mind, couldn&#x27;t we also amend that theory, and add culture as a factor?<p>Furthermore, isn&#x27;t it also the case that since kids are getting into school earlier than they used to (say 50 or so years ago; random number, don&#x27;t goto imright.com and disprove it xD), wouldn&#x27;t they be more susceptible to other kids&#x2F;teachers? I mean now a days parents see their kids less than their teachers. They basically work 9-5 just like adults.<p>Addendum: Forgot which famous book this is from: But appraising a child for their hardwork over natural talent is one of the best things we can do. So to that end, creativity should be garnered as something one has to work towards. Man.. I can&#x27;t wait to test all this shit on my kids.. (obviously joking)<p>Edit: Change wording and add more meaningful question.
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justjonathan大约 8 年前
&quot;From its inception in 1942 until 1994, the search recognized more than 2000 precocious teenagers as finalists. But... just eight have won Nobel Prizes.&quot;<p>Just?!?<p>Said differently: slightly less than 1&#x2F;2% of identified gifted teenagers in this group went on to win Nobel prizes. Given the rarity of Nobel prize winners and the difficulty of predicting future Nobel prize winners (as teenagers) that strikes me is pretty amazing.
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siliconc0w大约 8 年前
I think &#x27;genius&#x27; is more about tuning the innate plasticity of a child&#x27;s mind to be good at a certain type of task. World class chess players see positions and variations like how &#x27;normals&#x27; might recognize an old friend. The &#x27;creative&#x27; part comes in when you have brain that is marvelously tuned for one thing, you can iterate and experiment very quickly.
YCode大约 8 年前
While there is plenty to criticize about this article, knowing when <i>not</i> to intervene or help is one of the tougher and critical tasks of parenting.<p>As an anecdotal example my toddler was often the smallest kid in a given group of playing children. He was at the mall play area one day and he kept getting knocked down onto the foam floor. I kept thinking man I&#x27;ve got to step in and helicopter a bit. I almost did, but right as another kid was about to bump into him he did something new. He bowed at the legs, leaned and braced with his elbows causing the kid to bounce off harmlessly and they both ran on.<p>I&#x27;m often reminded of that moment now when I see him in safe but precarious situations. I&#x27;m always there for him if he needs me, but I have to wonder if I step in am I denying him a life lesson?
kendallpark大约 8 年前
Let&#x27;s take a big step back and remember that even if you set up the most creativity-nurturing environment, it does not guarantee that your kids are going to flourish creatively. Kids are autonomous creatures that still choose their own activities.<p>My siblings and I had the same imperfect parenting, same resources, similar genetics, etc, and at the end of the day I was the one that went hardcore down creative pursuits during childhood. I could see a similar spark in my siblings, but for whatever reason they put their 10,000 hours elsewhere. It was only during college that one of my brothers picked up writing and the other picked up music. The potential (and opportunity!) was always there, but for whatever reason they didn&#x27;t capitalize on it in childhood.
replicatorblog大约 8 年前
Tiger Woods and Serena and Venus Williams are arguably the most iconic players in their sports in the last two decades and both are famous for overbearing fathers who forced them to practice from the time they could hold clubs and racquets.
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noonespecial大约 8 年前
Step zero: Get to know them. Then decide if you should back off or do any other of a thousand things that might help them.<p>All kids are different. Child rearing is as far from &quot;one weird trick&quot; territory as you can get.
dnprock大约 8 年前
Over time, I see articles bouncing between discipline your children (aka tiger parenting) and let them free (aka nuture creativity.) There are passionate camps and black&#x2F;white discussions. I think the most successful professionals need to have both. So it&#x27;s best to work on both.<p>In the case where you can&#x27;t have both. I think it&#x27;s better to focus on discipline. At least you&#x27;d get something tiny done, not just wandering around.
aliceyhg大约 8 年前
In cultures like Korea, hierarchy and unconditional respect for their elders is so deeply rooted that it is evident in the language itself (When addressing elders or someone more important, you have to speak a specific way). This gives a false sense of righteousness and superiority. In societies like these, could the culture itself be an obstacle to creative growth?
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greggman大约 8 年前
I&#x27;d be really curious to hear from engineers that were made to play a musical instrument in childhood.<p>I know some people believe there&#x27;s a correlation between good engineers and musical study (no idea if that&#x27;s true, only that I&#x27;ve read it before)<p>I also know that I&#x27;ve rarely met a child that wants to practice their musical instrument. Usually they have to be made to do it &quot;No TV, no internet, no video games until you&#x27;ve finished your piano practice!&quot; &quot;But Mom!!!!!&quot;<p>I know lots of adults that are happy they can play a musical instrument or speak a second language (parents sent them to language school as a child) but I know of few children who would chose to do either of them.
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zxv大约 8 年前
There is no way quite as certain to accelerate a child&#x27;s pursuit of great goals, than to instill confidence in them. In my experience, it is the first and most important step with which they begin to choose their own pace in learning new skills, by convincing them that any failures are temporary, and that they can believe in their vision because those they trust believe in them.<p>I believe that the second step, making things fun, mostly consists of letting young people be with their friends, with no more than some open space, and only the minimum adult involvement needed to maintain safety.
Havoc大约 8 年前
&gt;prestigious award for scientifically gifted high school students<p>I find this somewhat offensive. Gifted kids should be encouraged (cautiously &amp; organically) - not be turned into a beauty pageant style competition.
gejjaxxita大约 8 年前
<i>In adulthood, many prodigies become experts in their fields and leaders in their organizations. Yet only a fraction of gifted children eventually become revolutionary adult creators.</i> This sentence, which the article hinges around, has no meaning. A tiny fraction will become revolutionary adult creators by definition - if their achievements were more commonplace then our understanding of what a revolutionary creator was would change to become more exclusive.
blackkettle大约 8 年前
&gt; In adulthood, many prodigies become experts in their fields and leaders in their organizations. Yet “only a fraction of gifted children eventually become revolutionary adult creators,” laments the psychologist Ellen Winner.<p>Why on earth is that something to &#x27;lament&#x27;?
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slantaclaus大约 8 年前
Having not yet read the article, I would say yes, there is truth in that statement, but holding people accountable is a big part of what drives success. Compromise: Tease them into and help them create some of their own rules but enforce them(?)
lucidguppy大约 8 年前
Every child must be raised by the book - unfortunately every child has their own book...
ezhil大约 8 年前
I don&#x27;t think there is a fixed pattern in raising a creative child. Every child is different. Instilling creativity is not like a program running under specific conditions.
toepitt大约 8 年前
I&#x27;d like to know how to make an adult creative, not just a child.
ilzmastr大约 8 年前
This article in the NYTimes is like Duchamp&#x27;s urinal in a museum.
lacampbell大约 8 年前
Why do you feel entitled to foist your own or other peoples problems onto strangers?
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