Perhaps there's a third way.<p>My parents didn't praise us so much for our efforts, nor for "achievements", but they were really excited about the things and projects we were doing. It was like the whole universe was full of exciting things to be discovered and mastered.<p>For example, if we were going down a river in a canoe, my dad wasn't talking about how much work we kids were doing, or how skilled we were. He was talking about the amazing eagles, herons, hawks, and water moccasins we were seeing, and how to best shoot the rapids, and what the difference wave shapes meant about the rocks underneath. We kids didn't learn and work at canoeing because we would be praised if we did well. We wanted to explore and master the river!<p>I've found in teaching that moving the focus off the student and onto whatever amazing thing we are learning about works really well - both with kids and adults.