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The Booming Japanese Rent-A-Friend Business

699 点作者 Firebrand超过 7 年前

54 条评论

hkmurakami超过 7 年前
Went into reading this article expecting it to be a one-off, rental boyfriend type deal (that kind of trope is used very frequently in movies&#x2F;tv shows&#x2F;manga there), but this way <i>way</i> deeper than I expected. I&#x27;m pretty mind blown at how far they are taking this fake&#x2F;real replacements. Pretty close to some dystopian scifi actually.<p>&gt;If the client never reveals the truth, I must continue the role indefinitely. If the daughter gets married, I have to act as a father in that wedding, and then I have to be the grandfather. So, I always ask every client, “Are you prepared to sustain this lie?” It’s the most significant problem our company has.<p>&gt;Morin: You’re offering a more perfect form of reality?<p>&gt;Yuichi: More ideal. More clean.<p>This is so Truman Show esque.
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sdrothrock超过 7 年前
&gt; There was one case of a man in his 60s. His wife died, and he wanted to order another copy of her. We provided that.<p>This was incredibly poignant to me.<p>Japanese society can be incredibly restrictive in its social circles; it&#x27;s too simple for me to imagine a guy in his 60s with few friends, few opportunities to make more friends, and then his only friend and long-time partner dies. It&#x27;s too easy to imagine how lost and desperate he might be, why he might want this kind of service to create a fake reality to live in.<p>Some people might read this and think &quot;wow, twisted that people can sell this kind of thing in Japan,&quot; but as someone who&#x27;s lived here for a while, I think &quot;wow, twisted that Japanese society forces people to feel like they need this kind of thing.&quot;<p>I struggle to find any kind of up side to the fact that society enables this kind of service, or rather, that this kind of service is even made necessary. Does anyone else see one?<p>Edit: To go into a bit more detail, my problems with society enabling this kind of service are really:<p>1. Social expectations and pressure<p>2. Lack of mental health care&#x2F;counseling&#x2F;options and awareness
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wrinkl3超过 7 年前
<i>In Japanese business culture, there is a situation where you have to visit a company and say I’m deeply sorry for what I did and just bow and bow. &lt;...&gt; Usually, I accompany a salaryman who made a mistake. I take the identity of the salaryman myself, then I apologize profusely for his mistake. Have you seen the way we say sorry? You go have to down on your hands and knees on the floor. Your hands have to tremble. So, my client is there standing off to the side—the one who actually made the mistake—and I’m prostrate on the floor writhing around, and the boss is there red-faced as he hurls down abuse from above. Sometimes, I wonder to myself, “Am I actually doing this?”</i><p>This actually sounds like something that could be spun into a separate startup in Japan - people who will pretend to be you in intense politeness-related scenarios.
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cosmic_ape超过 7 年前
I think there are a couple of really different types of situations these actors resolve.<p>The fake groom for a wedding is just a workaround for a cultural issue, maybe not uniquely Japanese. The society requires a groom, so here is one. I wonder how many politicians today have fake family lives due to similar reasons, for instance.<p>But there are other situations, like fake boyfriends&#x2F;girlfriends. What the company provides here is trust, sort or removing counter-party risk. The client needs to know that the friend will confirm to certain protocol, will be in a certain way. Many people would do that for free, but the actors are guaranteed to do that. If there was some mechanism to establish that kind of trust without the company, that would be nice. Without that trust, its just the usual dating, of course.<p>And then, there is a commitment aspect. That man acted as a father for <i>8 years</i>. The must have been growth in that relationship. The actor and the girl developed an inner world in which they exist, are part of each other&#x27;s lives, and, the girl at least, relies on him to be there in the future. Many man could probably act as fathers for some time, but 8 years, they&#x27;d actually have to want to <i>be</i> fathers.<p>edit: maybe its worth adding that this is not a suggestion that that business is a good thing overall. Just an attempt at the analysis of why it might be &quot;booming&quot; (if it indeed statistically is).
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thisisit超过 7 年前
Wow, feels straight out of a Black mirror episode. What really disturbs me is this:<p>&gt; With a burgeoning staff of 800 or so actors, ranging from <i>infants</i> to the elderly, the organization prides itself on being able to provide a surrogate for almost any conceivable situation.<p>Infants!! Reminds me of a Jim Carrey movie - The Truman Show.
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andischo超过 7 年前
This interview makes me wonder where we are heading as the human race. The Japanese society, so certainly very different in some aspects, does strike me as a glimpse into the future of western society. Technology has a much bigger impact on the daily life there and I believe that this is one of the main reasons, why (face-to-face) social interactions are becoming more infrequent. What struck me the most from the article was the impression that the customers of this service seem to feel especially lonely - or even more worrysome - that some of them view social interactions as hasselsome and being work. If that is the way humans as a whole start thinking than we will have a lot of problems in our future.<p>&gt; For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend.<p>&gt; I don’t have a real girlfriend right now. Real dating feels like work. It feels like work to care for a real person.
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cJ0th超过 7 年前
&gt; For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend.<p>I fail to fully relate to this sentiment. I get that a failed relationship that you&#x27;ve invested huge amounts of time in is heart breaking. It seems logical (albeit unhealthy) to thus stop chasing real relationships. What I then don&#x27;t understand: Why is having a fake relationship preferable to one that might go south?<p>Either the &quot;real&quot; relationship turns out to be &quot;fake&quot;. In that case the one that is &quot;fake&quot; from the beginning is no better. That is, the upshot is no true soulmate in both cases. Or, the &quot;real&quot; relationship turns out to be great. In that case the acceptance of uncertainty will pay dividends.<p>To me it seems that these people don&#x27;t actually want a real relationship because no real relationship can come with the limited amount of attributes they desire. It&#x27;s like they&#x27;re complaining about an awesome Italien Pizza because it doesn&#x27;t match a frozen one.
stickfigure超过 7 年前
Can someone confirm that this is real? It reads like (dismal) satire.
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chadash超过 7 年前
This reminds me of an episode of the podcast Weird Work where they interview someone who works as a bridesmaid for hire. For a fee, she&#x27;ll help with wedding planning and go as far as flying out to act the part of bridesmaid in your wedding [1].<p>So this isn&#x27;t just a Japanese thing. Just as I think that <i>most</i> people in the US would find hiring a bridesmaid in the US to be a little bit weird, I&#x27;m sure most people in Japan would feel the same way about the service described here.<p>[1] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;bridesmaidforhire.com&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;bridesmaidforhire.com&#x2F;</a>
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pfisch超过 7 年前
This is sick. That girl is going to find out one day that he is not her father and she is going to be very fucked up when she realizes her entire life is a lie and she can&#x27;t ever trust anyone.<p>I can&#x27;t believe someone would be willing to do that to someone for $50&#x2F;hr.
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fnwx17超过 7 年前
top notch journalism, I couldn&#x27;t stop until I read the entire article, not skipping any paragraph.<p>the whole thing is just an interview&#x2F;dialogue, but it&#x27;s incredibly captivating<p>also, you could make three separate movies on existentialism just with ideas from the article.<p>lastly - the interviewee, he must have such strong philosophical dilemmas
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nabla9超过 7 年前
Trophy wife relationship might be not so different.<p>We already have commercial close day to day relationships like daycare, teachers, taking care of elderly. Then we have therapists and prostitution. Many lonely people have only workplace friendships that are more artificial than the importance they have in the life of lonely people.<p>But these are all fundamentally honest relationships with defined roles in the society. If a mother wants tho hire father figure for her child, I think the relationship should be honest towards the child and not based on lie. &quot;Hired uncle&quot; would be honest.
Naushad超过 7 年前
Familia 1996<p>&#x27;Santiago wakes up like any other morning. He goes down to the kitchen and his whole family is waiting for him: it&#x27;s his birthday. They all sing &quot;Happy Birthday to You&quot; and give him presents. But when he opens the present of his youngest son, he gets angry and says he doesn&#x27;t like it. The boy starts crying and saying that he loves him, but Santiago answers that he doesn&#x27;t believe him and he tells the boy that he is fired and that he wants another son, who is thinner, who doesn&#x27;t need glasses and who resembles him more.&#x27;
jhiska超过 7 年前
The story seems fake.<p>Does anyone have a link to this &quot;Family Romance&quot; corporation? Where is the proof?<p>Why would the guy be so ruthlessly candid about his immoral failings? Why does he talk in a carefully manicured, but cruel and amoral way -- why is he dissing his own product? Why would he plaster his face on The Atlantic when he depends on anonymity? They have 800 employees -- that&#x27;s large; why haven&#x27;t we heard of this before? Why is he so knowledgeable about what English-speakers don&#x27;t know about Japan and so able to help us understand -- has he lived and studied extensively abroad? Why is he able to understand what he does is immoral but is unwilling to change even as it affects him so deeply -- why doesn&#x27;t he get a new job? What would happen to his clients if he decided to stop working for them -- how legally binding would his contract be? Is he legally obligated to keep lying even if he changes his job -- that&#x27;s impossible, right? No one is legally obligated to lie. Is the business really &quot;booming&quot; when it seems to be so unknown -- and, in fact, relies on keeping a low-profile for maximum effectiveness? How did the clients find them -- and how did everyone else not find them?<p>Where are other, reliable articles about this? The only other source I find is The Sun and people have mentioned Yahoo! Answers, which aren&#x27;t reliable sources. Can someone in Japan confirm this?<p>It screams of fictional writing.
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austinhutch超过 7 年前
This book is very much aligned with the topic presented in the article if you want to examine how similar services are springing up in the west <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.amazon.com&#x2F;Outsourced-Self-Happens-Others-Lives&#x2F;dp&#x2F;1250024196" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.amazon.com&#x2F;Outsourced-Self-Happens-Others-Lives&#x2F;...</a>
11thEarlOfMar超过 7 年前
&quot;In an increasingly isolated and entitled society...&quot;<p>If true, it seems an odd mix of outcomes for a national psyche, but perhaps it can be explained.<p>How would a society become both isolated and entitled? Are they independent outcomes with independent causes? Correlated by some common cause? Or did one cause the other?
ghostbrainalpha超过 7 年前
The article is titled &quot;Rent-a-Friend&quot; but the whole story is about a &quot;Rent-a-DAD&quot; for a little girl.<p>That is so much different than Renting a Friend....
wuch超过 7 年前
How wrong was Robet Nozick in his argument about the Experience Machine [0].<p>[0] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Experience_machine" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Experience_machine</a>
anvandare超过 7 年前
&gt;There are certain memories, yes. There’s a blank sheet, and the client writes the memories that he wants the wife to remember.<p>&gt;For them, it’s a lot of hassle and disappointment. Imagine investing five years with someone and then they break up with you. It’s just easier to schedule two hours per week to interact with an ideal boyfriend. There’s no conflict, no jealously, no bad habits. Everything is perfect.<p>The fundamental problem with being human is that there are other humans. They&#x27;re so unpredictable to deal with. Let&#x27;s hope the AI finally comes soon, at least you can save&#x2F;reload those.
anonytrary超过 7 年前
Wow, this was a surprising article. I am shocked that they are renting themselves out and lying to children about who their parents are. It&#x27;s unethical and he speaks about it as if it&#x27;s just fine.
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24gttghh超过 7 年前
&gt;Yuichi: There’s a manual for everything in this company. We use psychology to determine the optimal outcome. In this case, the standard tactic is to make me look like a yakuza [gangster]. Typically, I arrive with the wife, and the husband is there, and suddenly I will just bow then deeply apologize. Usually, the husband will berate me, but because I appear to be a yakuza, he won’t pursue the matter further.<p>Ethical questions aside, this is dangerously brilliant. Better hope the <i>actual Yakuza</i> doesn&#x27;t find out...
Kiro超过 7 年前
Wow, I recommend everyone to read the whole piece. The title does not do the interview justice.
itissid超过 7 年前
There is an industry in japan where people can get fake married[1]. Its very popular among women. Its a sad outcome of a country that penalizes marriage. I remember when a Goldman advisor told Japanese govt to make baby and child care easier to bringing more woman into economy, he quipped &quot;But madam, thats why we are building a big robot industry&quot;(presumably to solve the child care system which is heavily backlogged[2][3]).<p>[1] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.amazon.com&#x2F;gp&#x2F;video&#x2F;detail&#x2F;B06Y1JVLD4" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.amazon.com&#x2F;gp&#x2F;video&#x2F;detail&#x2F;B06Y1JVLD4</a> [2] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.japantimes.co.jp&#x2F;news&#x2F;2016&#x2F;04&#x2F;17&#x2F;national&#x2F;day-care-crisis-stuck-vicious-cycle&#x2F;#.WgR-l62ZNTY" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.japantimes.co.jp&#x2F;news&#x2F;2016&#x2F;04&#x2F;17&#x2F;national&#x2F;day-ca...</a> [3] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.npr.org&#x2F;sections&#x2F;parallels&#x2F;2016&#x2F;01&#x2F;05&#x2F;460801951&#x2F;will-more-day-care-help-boost-japans-sluggish-economy" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.npr.org&#x2F;sections&#x2F;parallels&#x2F;2016&#x2F;01&#x2F;05&#x2F;460801951&#x2F;...</a>
michaeltravis超过 7 年前
Is this the world that we&#x27;re creating in modern life?
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blablabla123超过 7 年前
This is so wrong on so many levels. A friend of mine (Germany) was told that the mother&#x27;s boyfriend is her real father. When she was told that he is not, she started suffering from panic attacks.<p>The article already describes the problem but not really the consequences which must be devastating.<p>IMHO this practice should became illegal and if at all there should be programs or even companies to fix the actual problems.
LightWalnut超过 7 年前
Honestly on the issue of the mother renting a father for her daughter, I think what needs to be emphasized is that this issue is not black and white. I personally think that perhaps she ought to be more up front about this to her daughter. Even something like &quot;this person is not your father, but you can think of him a father figure&quot;, is better than straight up concealing the truth. Although that&#x27;s just what I think. No one is actually fit to judge the mother&#x27;s actions because no one has been in her place or had the same, exact experience&#x2F;situation. So it&#x27;s unfair to simply accuse her actions of being &quot;immoral&quot; or calling her names. To be fair everyone has done things which wouldn&#x27;t be considered &quot;righteous&quot; by other&#x27;s standards. Only you can determine your actions. No one is not fit to judge others.
dbosch超过 7 年前
A danish director made a film on the topic: he follows a Rent-A-Friend business boss who hides what he is doing for a living to his own family Imdb: <a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.imdb.com&#x2F;title&#x2F;tt3242460&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.imdb.com&#x2F;title&#x2F;tt3242460&#x2F;</a>
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wand3r超过 7 年前
I wonder if having your picture appear in a relatively high profile publication like this would be wise...
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sersi超过 7 年前
This, especially the case of the grandfather who wanted to see his grandchild before dying reminds me of the game &quot;To The Moon&quot;.<p>Creating new memories, new reality because the one people are living is just not good enough....
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fallingfrog超过 7 年前
This made me weep a little bit. Such loneliness in this world!<p>I feel like this is what the logical endpoint of total capitalism would look like- things have been headed in this direction for a while with first the making of household items, and farming, then the preparation of food (restaurants) and the raising of children (schools) now performed by paid labor. I guess it could go even farther, one could imagine a future in which all relationships are mediated through money.. it&#x27;s not a future I like.
zumu超过 7 年前
Reminds me of one of the main plot lines of Noriko&#x27;s Dinner Table <a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.imdb.com&#x2F;title&#x2F;tt0468820&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.imdb.com&#x2F;title&#x2F;tt0468820&#x2F;</a><p>The main character works for a similar company to the one mentioned in the article. Not sure if there was a precedent at the time of the film&#x27;s writing. Looks like fiction has become reality.
eric_khun超过 7 年前
If anyone of you reading this comment from Tokyo and want a buddy to work from cafes&#x2F;co-working, hit me up :)<p>same username on twitter
z0r超过 7 年前
<a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;family-romance.com&#x2F;index.html" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;family-romance.com&#x2F;index.html</a><p>translated to english, you will find in the page: Establishment: April 1, 2009<p>the only reason i would consider this real at all is because &quot;Japan&quot;, but i can&#x27;t buy this<p>this must be an (enjoyable) work of fiction
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pacificleo11超过 7 年前
remind me of Whores of Mensa <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.newyorker.com&#x2F;magazine&#x2F;1974&#x2F;12&#x2F;16&#x2F;the-whore-of-mensa" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.newyorker.com&#x2F;magazine&#x2F;1974&#x2F;12&#x2F;16&#x2F;the-whore-of-m...</a>
cooervo超过 7 年前
Seems like a focus on money and everything fake has left us to this. This is very depressing.
white-flame超过 7 年前
The first example is bringing on a fake husband because the private school doesn&#x27;t accept children of single mothers.<p>Regardless of the social weirdness, I wonder how often a service like this is used for straight-up fraud?
zbentley超过 7 年前
I really hope that employees of this company are provided with access to mental health services as one of their benefits. Without judgement one way or the other, in that line of work, you&#x27;d need it.
ewrcoffee超过 7 年前
There&#x27;s a movie on business like this: The Bride of Rip Van Winkle by Shunji Iwai. But not sure if it is inspired by the exact same company.
grondilu超过 7 年前
There is a lot of buzz around virtual reality, but it seems to me this kind of business is scarier than any head-mounted display.
billmalarky超过 7 年前
Fascinating. The level of dedication reminds me a bit of Christian Bale&#x27;s character in The Prestige.
jordache超过 7 年前
horrible interview. Who cares about actors playing as your spouse or whatever.<p>Why didn&#x27;t interviewer get into the logistics of being able to rent a human infant!? This is perhaps the most inconceivable aspect of this business.<p>Any guesses on the logistics and safety protocols for renting one&#x27;s infant?
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callesgg超过 7 年前
Sounds like the mind of psychopaths.
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pvelagal超过 7 年前
&quot;booming&quot; business ? Does it indicate something wrong with the society ?
tai_hn超过 7 年前
Why is he showing his face by the way? What if his fake daughter find that out?
mac01021超过 7 年前
How can they possibly get anyone to do this job for $50 per hour?
uremog超过 7 年前
Just imagine the cost for providing five-nines on that service.
gt2超过 7 年前
Reminds me of a flick called The Wedding Ringer.
fogetti超过 7 年前
Unbelievable. I am shocked. This is so sad on so many levels.
nictrix超过 7 年前
This seems to be one step away from The Island movie
shanwang超过 7 年前
Sounds like the script of a Black Mirror episode.
musage超过 7 年前
&gt; the CEO predicts the exponential growth of his business and others like it, as à la carte human interaction becomes the new norm<p>That&#x27;s neither human nor interaction.
timthelion超过 7 年前
I&#x27;m pretty sure this company is real, but that the man being interviewed decided to have some fun and act as an unreliable narrator [1].<p>[1] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Unreliable_narrator" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Unreliable_narrator</a>
ringaroundthetx超过 7 年前
&gt; Yuichi: Sometimes we dine together. We’ve been to theme parks, like Disneyland. We go shopping in Harajuku once a month. The mother pays about 20,000 yen per four hours, plus expenses. That’s about $200.<p>Nice, this looks like a great way to break even on your alimony and child support payments.
lawowners超过 7 年前
This concept has been explored in many sci-fi shows and movies. Example: &quot;Be Right Back&quot; (Black Mirror Season 2, Episode 1), &quot;Dollhouse&quot;, &quot;Robot&quot;, etc.