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Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

294 点作者 dbattaglia超过 7 年前

46 条评论

jpzisme超过 7 年前
What&#x27;s up with all these sensational articles about Silicon Valley? Maybe the lifestyle is different as a VC, but as an engineer, this seems so disjointed from reality that it&#x27;s almost farcical. I can barely get some of my coworkers to stop talking about code for more than a breath. There&#x27;s no way that they&#x27;re engaging in any of these activities.<p>Can anyone vouch for this behavior being prevalent? To me it just seems like a result of psychology where people think that others have more interesting&#x2F;fulfilled social lives than they do despite it not being actually true, but maybe I live under a rock.<p>Furthermore, there are a ton of small VCs and startups in the valley. Of course a small percentage will do sketchy stuff. This is true everywhere and would really only be a problem if it was widespread or common amongst the major players and served as a meaningful barrier to entry. The only firm mentioned by name, Binary Capital, looks like a two or a one person shop, and I assume doesn&#x27;t have much market power.
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guacamoleSoda超过 7 年前
This sounds like something out of Eyes Wide Shut, but with social awkwardness, baggy dad jeans, and crocs and socks.<p>I can&#x27;t imagine this is emotionally healthy for most of the folks involved. The once socially-exiled men trading wealth and drugs and (implicit) promises of career advancement for sex. The women who hope to leverage their looks for access to a better life, but risk ruining their reputations due to societal double standards. Being aware of these facts, would either party feel good about the encounters?<p>Orgies are fine. I&#x27;ve never been to one and have no desire to go to one. The real issue here is the power-asymmetry between the men and women involved. It reminds me of someone like Harvey Weinstein inviting an aspiring actress up to his hotel room and making an advance. It puts the women in a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don&#x27;t situation. Just extending the invitation itself can be vaguely threatening to a lot of people.
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blueyes超过 7 年前
This is a nothing burger of an article. It&#x27;s about consensual drug use and sex among adults. It happens to involve rich and powerful people who (gasp) can throw these kinds of parties. In any unequal society, there will be people who are willing to trade sex for financial security or access to power, with others who are seeking sex. It would be deeply naive to think otherwise. The outrage here strikes me as hollow.
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iaw超过 7 年前
There&#x27;s a lot in this article that raises red flags for me, but more about the journalism then the subject. There&#x27;s an element of sensationalism implying that this is a &#x27;side&#x27; of Silicon Valley without offering evidence of prevalence.<p>&gt; ... Founder X told me.<p>The things here on the record are by those who aren&#x27;t involved, those who are involved speaking on the record do so anonymously. It really seems less that this is a &#x27;side&#x27; of Silicon Valley but more that there is a small number of people engaged in the activity.<p>Further drawing into question the author&#x27;s credibility...<p>&gt;Managing directors at top-tier investment banks may pocket a million a year and be worth tens of millions after a long career.<p>Principals at mid-tier firms can make a couple million per year. A million dollar <i>quarterly</i> bonus for a fund manager isn&#x27;t absurd. Henry Paulson took the Treasury Secretary job because it gave him a tax-free sale of his $500M worth of equities after being a Managing Director at Goldman Sachs.<p>Those at VC funds may have more influence socially because they hold purse strings, but banking is the &#x27;traditional&#x27; way to make too much money. I&#x27;m really having a hard time not thinking that the entire article is exaggerated.
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crmd超过 7 年前
I&#x27;m trying to imagine a cringier situation than a druggy sex party full of industry people. Try chilling with artists, musicians, chefs, teachers, dog walkers, anything but tech people. The mutual discovery of each other&#x27;s worlds is really hot, and it minimizes the chance of ever being in a work meeting with someone where we need to pretend we haven&#x27;t seen each other naked.
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jMyles超过 7 年前
This article felt like a an &quot;Unsolved Mysteries&quot; narration to begin with, but this part really set off my BS sensors:<p>&gt; MDMA is a powerful and long-lasting drug whose one-two punch of euphoria and manic energy can keep you rolling for three or four hours. As dopamine fires, connections spark around the room, and normal inhibitions drop away. People start cuddling and making out. These aren’t group orgies, per se, but guests will break out into twosomes or threesomes or more. They may disappear into one of the venue’s many rooms, or they may simply get down in the open. Night turns to day, and the group reconvenes for breakfast, after which some may have intercourse again. Eat, drugs, sex, repeat.<p>Listen, MDMA is great. But make people want to fuck it does not. In fact, it&#x27;s damn near impossible to become seriously sexually aroused on MDMA. It promotes a much more fraternal feeling than a sexual one.
orasis超过 7 年前
This article is a fascinating reflection of our current culture. It’s simultaneous power shaming and slut shaming.<p>It’s pretty sad that across all of the women interviewed they’re either portrayed as naive and disempowered or “merely” prostitutes.<p>Despite its semi-neutral tone, in the end this article is quite sexist.
tzs超过 7 年前
So...a Silicon Valley version of a Hellfire club [1]?<p>What&#x27;s the deal with that hot tub party photo from 1996? In particular what is supporting the laptop? It appears to be right on the surface of the water, which would be a ridiculous way to try to use it, as any ripples or waves would get it wet.<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Hellfire_Club" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Hellfire_Club</a>
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gdilla超过 7 年前
Not shocking at all - follows a pattern we&#x27;ve seen before on wallstreet and anywhere else men think they&#x27;re amazing cuz they&#x27;re rich. It&#x27;s just cute that SV has the lifestyle choice spin on it.
throwawaygoogol超过 7 年前
OK, so this bothers me on a couple of levels. One, this strikes me as New York wagging its fingers at San Francisco, while bankers and media types have been having parties like this for ages, and it&#x27;s taken with more or less a shrug. That said, though, it&#x27;s also a bit slimy the ways that feminist polyamory and sex-positive community has been coopted as some sort of fig leaf for plain old money and power. The bankers never sought to justify themselves. I don&#x27;t think that actually alters the basic morality one way or the other, but I have to say, I&#x27;m reminded of this scene: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=Rkj6PhhhzDk" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=Rkj6PhhhzDk</a>
dsfyu404ed超过 7 年前
This article is hilarious. It&#x27;s like someone invited MADD to a weekend of beer fueled antics at a mud bog and this is their horrified blog post about how it went.<p>People are crazy. People like to do drugs and have sex. Money adds fuel to the fire. Also, water is wet.
weeksie超过 7 年前
My goodness, the pearl clutching sex panic is hilarious coming from Vanity Fair.<p>Rich people have parties and they&#x27;re fun because when you&#x27;re rich you can afford good drugs and nice venues. News at 10.
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itronitron超过 7 年前
I expect that a majority of people would be very uncomfortable at one of these work-related parties. Beyond the man&#x2F;woman power asymmetry there are a lot of other groups of people that would exclude themselves from these events, but that may be the point.
olivermarks超过 7 年前
I&#x27;m trying to reconcile &#x27;60 shades of grey&#x27; selling 125 million copies globally so far and Vanity Fair&#x2F;Emily Chang being so shocked about wealthy silicon valley swingers...
todd8超过 7 年前
At a Christmas party about 12 years ago I ran into a woman that I had been on a couple of dates with. Because she and a her girlfriend at the party were drinking I offered to drive them home. On the way home her girlfriend got a call, learned of a swingers party, and invited us to go with her. It was quite surprising for me. We didn&#x27;t stay or participate, but I had no idea that such well attended parties were going on under my nose and overlapped to such a large degree with my social circle. (This wasn&#x27;t in SV.)
cs702超过 7 年前
This is a sensationalist piece based on a <i>really tiny</i> amount of anecdotal evidence. I&#x27;m not upvoting it.
1024core超过 7 年前
If these parties are so widespread, how come no one has posted any actual photos from these parties? I&#x27;m sure there&#x27;s <i>some</i> of this going on, but it can&#x27;t be as widespread as claimed.
indescions_2018超过 7 年前
A common refrain: practice X is packaged by its purveyors as the sine qua non of enlightened thinking and action. But ultimately, it is argued, ends up reinforcing the establishment status quo. Can be applied universally to everything from the gig economy to young blood infusions.<p>In this context, however, I believe we are witnessing an unprecedented and radical redefinition of traditional monogamy in real-time.<p>Naturally, social media plays a fundamental role in the re-thinking of modern monogamy. And one can&#x27;t help but infer some connection between a platform and its creator&#x27;s biases.<p>At root is perhaps a philosophy born in the heyday of the Haight-Ashbury scene. Free Love. The idea that anyone can share intimacy with any one else. Without possessiveness. Without jealousy. Without betrayal. As long as there is explicit consent.<p>It&#x27;s not even a modern idea. Some elements are found in Plato&#x27;s Republic. Fertility rites attended by the entire polis. Followed by newborns becoming wards of the state. To be raised with egalitarian love. And no parent showing any preference for their own offspring over another.<p>But does it actually work in practice? Are we actually wired for pan-amory?<p>Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Sex_at_Dawn" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Sex_at_Dawn</a>
justonepost超过 7 年前
The only thing I found vaguely interesting about the article was the lack of male bisexuality. My guess is that the author was pursuing a very narrow group of people.
justinzollars超过 7 年前
&quot;Molly tablets that have been molded into the logos of some of the hottest tech companies&quot;<p>I&#x27;m going to call bullshit.
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moron4hire超过 7 年前
I think, if you look hard enough in any city, you&#x27;ll find just about anything, including sex dungeon parties. I knew some people who were not very secretive about it in Philadelphia, Baltimore, and DC. Those are the only cities I&#x27;ve lived in, so considering it&#x27;s been 3-for-3 so far, I suspect it&#x27;s pretty prevalent. The fact that in SV it&#x27;s full of VCs is not surprising, as nowhere else would you find the density of VCs than in SV.<p>I think the bigger question might be--in an age of safe sex and (ostensibly) loose morals--why isn&#x27;t it more common?
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Sundog超过 7 年前
I&#x27;ve been going to the wrong parties!
adotjdotr超过 7 年前
In all honesty - why is this seen as such a bad thing. So many well off people engage in this sexualised fantasy behaviour who are monied &#x2F; well off.<p>I would expect a bit more from a Bloomberg presenter but then again superficiality is clearly what she needs to sell her book.<p>This is honestly nothing new at all unless you&#x27;re a prude
uoaei超过 7 年前
I think the crucial mistake most commenters&#x2F;assessors on HN are making is in somehow equating SV with engineer and social introvert types. Of course those people aren&#x27;t going to sex parties!<p>But SV has over the years adopted the money-hungry, the investors and startup-flippers, as the core demographic by which it continues and grows. And these people are always in search of that next high. If that next high can be taboo and paid for with an exclusive amount of money, they&#x27;ll be there.<p>SV is no longer defined by its engineers. We see this in the hypergrowth cycles, in the &quot;you can&#x27;t engineer yourself out of a societal problem&quot; phenomenon, in the fact that you can&#x27;t get anywhere in SV without getting on your knees in front of a VC board.
JamieBeckett超过 7 年前
Yuck. I felt slimy after reading this article. What female would participate in this?
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guacamoleSoda超过 7 年前
Preface: I spend a lot of this response talking about a hypothetical high-status man and a low-status woman. This isn&#x27;t to be sexist or perpetuate stereotypes; it&#x27;s just to use a common example that we&#x27;ve all probably seen and witnessed.<p>Preface 2: this response was to someone else in this thread but it got pulled out to the top level for some reason.<p>The intention of the article was, probably, just to shed light on the fact that this sort of stuff happens. It might not even be accurate. But, for the sake of argument, let&#x27;s assume that it is. The author wasn&#x27;t suggesting solutions. Why is it interesting to Vanity Fair readers?<p>- It&#x27;s about the glamorous lives of the 0.1%.<p>- It&#x27;s about sex.<p>- It&#x27;s about drugs.<p>- A lot of these men are socially oblivious, so it provides material to laugh at otherwise powerful people. Who, in their right minds, sees a co-worker at a bondage-event and tells others at their workplace? And who, in their right minds, brings it up with said co-worker?<p>- If what the article reports is true, the behaviour of some of the male participants could reasonably be interpreted as sexually predatory.<p>It&#x27;s the last point that&#x27;s a bit troublesome. I think a lot of the men involved don&#x27;t realize their behaviour is shitty. They flash wealth and reputation and make drunken suggestions like, which I&#x27;ve personally witnessed, &quot;Oh, you&#x27;re interested in starting a company... I could totally put you in touch with my friend who runs a VC firm. He&#x27;s always looking for new investments. Hey, let&#x27;s get another drink. You&#x27;re super interesting. Oh, it&#x27;s closing time. Wanna head back to my place, it&#x27;s only a couple blocks away, and we could continue this conversation?&quot;<p>It&#x27;s even worse if the dude talking has some sort of professional connection with the woman (e.g. introduction through co-worker or investor). It&#x27;s not illegal but it&#x27;s lousy. It&#x27;s also reasonable for her to think that their might be some form of punishment for saying, &#x27;no&#x27;. I think the lesson those sorts of guys could learn is that they&#x27;re, at best, being manipulative and assholes. And the lesson targeted women can learn is that these guys probably aren&#x27;t telling the truth and they should stick to mostly professional channels to get ahead (if that&#x27;s their reason for engaging sexually with these men).<p>Guys, if sex is your goal, I suggest the old-fashioned method. This isn&#x27;t targeted at you, OP, but just a rhetorical bit aimed at the hypothetical male described in the article:<p>- Work your way into a good job.<p>- Be polite.<p>- Be funny.<p>- Work out.<p>- Dress well.<p>- Be financially responsible.<p>- Have a drink or two, if that&#x27;s your thing.<p>- Don&#x27;t be too flashy and avoid mentions of wealth or powerful connections.<p>- Show genuine interest in the other party and her friends and family.<p>- Be forward but not obnoxious about your intentions before sex (e.g. looking for sex, looking for a relationship, etc...).<p>- Never lie.<p>- Never EVER make promises or suggestions that you can help her career until you&#x27;re well into a relationship.<p>- If you genuinely believe in her and want to help her career, do so, but save any romantic or sexual advances until after you&#x27;ve helped and you can&#x27;t renege what you&#x27;ve done. Be absolutely clear that she doesn&#x27;t owe you anything.<p>EDIT:<p>- And never kiss and tell. It might win you a few bar-room points but it&#x27;s frankly trashy and teenager-like behaviour. Romantic and sexual relationships involve two parties and are inherently intimate and you might be violating your partner&#x27;s trust and reputation by divulging you&#x27;ve had sex or what the sex was like and so on. Even if your partner is okay with it, a lot of people don&#x27;t find talking about your sexual conquests entertaining.
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eternalcode超过 7 年前
This is all real. I’ve been to some of the parties she mentioned. I hope that people read Brotopia and see that what Emily Chang is deriding isn’t Burning Man, renegades, or the like.<p>It’s how a predatory part of the startup population exploits these kinds of environments to use and hurt people.<p>I’ve gotten a lot of questions recently why I sort of dropped off the radar a few years ago in going to a lot of VC&#x2F;founder rage scene. This is a big part of why. I don’t want me or the people I care about to be exposed to this.<p>And to be honest, I don’t know how to stop it.
norswap超过 7 年前
Slavoj Zizek:<p>&gt; In racism, the other is not simply an enemy. His figure is also usually invested with some specific perverse enjoyment, or maybe he his someone who tries to steal our enjoyment from us.
dawhizkid超过 7 年前
Is this really limited to just SV?<p>This was one of the more eye opening articles I read last year -&gt; <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;jezebel.com&#x2F;the-slutty-resurgence-of-new-yorks-underground-gay-sex-1800953101" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;jezebel.com&#x2F;the-slutty-resurgence-of-new-yorks-under...</a><p>Also I&#x27;ll leave this here... <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.yelp.com&#x2F;biz&#x2F;power-exchange-san-francisco-3" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.yelp.com&#x2F;biz&#x2F;power-exchange-san-francisco-3</a>
olfactory超过 7 年前
This is a bit tangential but I wonder how the following classic psychological experiment would play out if participants were on MDMA, drunk, or aware of social status:<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.researchgate.net&#x2F;publication&#x2F;285214736_Deviance_in_the_dark" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.researchgate.net&#x2F;publication&#x2F;285214736_Deviance_...</a><p>Also, I wonder if in today&#x27;s world (with more gender equality) if some of the female participants might actually not have wanted to be intimate.
rearden超过 7 年前
It may not be a popular opinion, but why are these tech founders and VCs always judged and pointed at by reporters and such? I mean yeah, if they engage in illegal behaviour (sexual asssault) and stuff there should be punishment as with any other citizen. But in any other case, why don’t tech reporters focus on the tech? Rather than on the morals or sex lifes of the founders? It seems to me that founders are now under public scrutiny as if their company sold morals.
Apocryphon超过 7 年前
Wall Street, Hollywood, Silicon Valley... are there any other high-rolling industry hubs out there that don&#x27;t have a decadent underbelly? Maybe Motor City in its heyday.
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throwawayyyyyyo超过 7 年前
I’m a Silicon Valley engineer&#x2F;founder who attends “light” versions of this: basically mini Burning Man-esque parties among trusted groups of friends, where “orgiastic” behavior is present, but not expected.<p>My only point is that not all similar events prominently feature the male&#x2F;female power dynamic described in this article.
nunez超过 7 年前
Well given that advertising, marketing and finance companies throw ragers like this somewhat on the reg, it doesn’t surprise me that folks at the top take it to 11.
ThrowAway3456超过 7 年前
are some comments being removed?
danso超过 7 年前
In American society, aren’t most orgiastic groups also secretive, in general?
epx超过 7 年前
The HIVE header in article was a perfect predictor of the BS that came next.
robofd超过 7 年前
One question I have as a recent grad who moved to Silicon Valley to work in tech is how do I get invited to one of these parties. Setting aside all the social implications, they sound really fun.
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ThrowAway3456超过 7 年前
I like this answer even if i strongly disagree with it. Hopefully we can engage in a polite discussion where i can contribute the male centric counter-part of your perspective.<p>&gt;That technique may be used for women (and, heck, men too -- I&#x27;m the female &#x27;breadwinner&#x27; of my household, although I didn&#x27;t meet my husband at a sex party...)<p>Yes some men, but those case are very rare and fare in between. I don&#x27;t have any better analogy than saying that&#x27;s like talking about female on male rape or white people being also subject to police violence when talking about black life matters.<p>&gt; to better their lives, but those gains may be sporadic, and they depend on the continued cooperation of the man they&#x27;re sleeping with.<p>But isn&#x27;t that true for 99% of the working population ? My salary depend on my continue cooperation of my company i am working for.<p>&gt; Having a job, skills are easily transferable between employers, resources in my own name, and a relationship built on mutual respect and kindness, gives me far more freedom and security than sleeping with guys for the lifestyle perks.<p>Is this true for any jobs ? Or are you describing the reality for you (what i presume being a conventionally beautiful ,upper middle class American woman)?<p>Is that true for any man ? or just the one you dated ?<p>&gt; Now, I&#x27;m not saying women shouldn&#x27;t go to these parties or sleep with these men if they want to, or that considering a man&#x27;s private jet ownership when debating about whether or not you want to sleep with him is an immoral choice.<p>Yes, but you are implying that having those choices is not a intrinsic privilege mostly associated with being a (conventionally beautiful) woman and that pointing this privilege is something of a simplification. I am born with a relatively high intelligence. It&#x27;s also usually comes with high propensity to anxiety and depression and social awkwardness and as such my intelligence doesnt by me everything in life, but all in all it&#x27;s still a nice privilege to have in 2017. I see female beauty the same.<p>If had to point an overarching theme on you answer, is that you seems to compare the &quot;gains&quot; from the sexual options of being a woman with those of very power man. We can agree on this (although there is something to be said on comparing a man in his late 35 and the fruit of his labor with the life style of a 20-something, but that a discussion for another time). I don&#x27;t think that&#x27;s the fair comparison.<p>What we need to look at : while you were being a &quot;trophy girlfriend&quot; , how did you life compare to you less desirable friends, and to your male friends around you? Beauty, like intelligence or any other intrinsic quality is an asset; It can be used wisely or not, it can be very valuable or not, but it&#x27;s still an asset...<p>&gt; the two choices sound like equivalent things, when they&#x27;re absolutely not.<p>Which two choices ?<p>&gt; On a side note: The presence of these particular sex parties, and the fact that they&#x27;re so closely intertwined with business in Silicon Valley, I think is an problem. As the article paints it, there&#x27;s sort of a &quot;damned if you do and damned if you don&#x27;t&quot; issue that they&#x27;re introducing for women working in certain companies or who are seeking VC funding.<p>I guess i can try to share the male perspective on this. It seems that there is wide belief that male sexuality is by nature predatory. Might be some truth to that and the news these days don&#x27;t really help. But from anecdotal experience, and for having been to those type of parties. Trying to coerce women into coming to those type of party is always plan B. Plan A is always to find open minded women with common interest. And much in the same way that height and muscular bodies are attractive to certain women, money,weath and power is attractive to enough women that plan A i usually all one needs...
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oblib超过 7 年前
To me, the idea that one must participate in this &quot;open&quot; lifestyle to climb the ladder is bullshit. You either decide to go to the party and jump in the cuddle puddle, or not.<p>But, no matter what you &quot;think&quot; you&#x27;re doing, what you will find there is drama. Lot&#x27;s of drama. Try as you might to keep that out, it is impossible to do that. It&#x27;s human nature.<p>The women who attend are every bit as calculating and self absorbed as the men who pay them to come, so I have no special sympathies for their plights that ensue from it. And the men are hardly immune themselves. I have no doubt that some of them have fallen deeply in love with a woman at one of those parties and spent many long hours crying in bed alone because the woman didn&#x27;t give a single shit about them afterwards.<p>Another thing that&#x27;s bullshit is that this is a &quot;progressive&quot; lifestyle. It&#x27;s a sex obsessed lifestyle. That too is a human nature that some cannot resist, but again, there&#x27;s always drama down that path. And some who you&#x27;ll find there thrive on that drama and constantly work at creating it and can cause you all kinds of stress with their bullshit.<p>So, no, there&#x27;s nothing &quot;progressive&quot; about it. That stuff is as old as civilization itself. Calling it &quot;progressive&quot; is putting lipstick on a very old pig.<p>And finally, the entire “OH MY GOD, THIS IS SO F---ED UP” approach to paint this as an exposé is bullshit too. You can find the same thing going on in Branson, Missouri with plumbers and concrete finishers.
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peterwwillis超过 7 年前
This article munges swinging, kink, and nuveau-hippie sensuality events into one big pile and claims that rich techies are &quot;marginalizing&quot; women, because they can&#x27;t claim the women are being abused, because they &quot;happen&quot; to be completely in control of themselves and their choices. This is white-knightism shrouded in the pseudo-scandal of sex, with a silicon valley cherry on top.<p>This is a tired old journalistic trope. Take a secretive, not-socially-acceptable topic, and present it to the world, as if exposing some hidden evil lurking behind a corner. Sadly, the truth is a lot more boring than most people will ever realize.<p><i>&quot;Perhaps this culture is just one of the many offshoots of the sexually progressive Bay Area&quot;</i><p>This is a tiny example of what is happening all over the world, in addition to this country. Ignore that the topic&#x27;s location is the literal epicenter of not only the sexual revolution, but gay liberation and the effective birthplace of hetero BDSM. These events happen _everywhere_. You can find them in North Dakota, in Alaska. This is not in any way new, or weird, or irregular. This is normal. It&#x27;s not &quot;socially acceptable&quot;, but it is normal.<p><i>&quot;It’s worth asking, however, if these sexual adventurers are so progressive, why do these parties seem to lean so heavily toward male-heterosexual fantasies?&quot;</i><p>Welcome to swinging culture, enjoy your cisheteropatriarchy. Again, nothing to do with Silicon Valley. The fact that there are men with lots of money throwing parties has nothing to do with tech. You&#x27;ll find a different set of men [and women] throwing parties in DC, New York, LA, Paris, Rome, Madrid, Sao Paulo, etc.<p><i>&quot;The party scene is now so pervasive that women entrepreneurs say turning down invitations relegates them to the uncool-kids’ table.&quot;</i><p>Oh no, peer pressure!!! We better make an after-school special for the women V.C.s. It&#x27;s not news that wealthy men have been making deals in strip clubs and private parties for a long time, and breaking those barriers is not easy, but also not some mysterious invisible barrier. People in power should obviously not use these one-sided venues for business, but shaming or banning the events altogether doesn&#x27;t seem like a healthy answer to this.<p><i>&quot;The problem is that weekend views of women as sex pawns and founder hounders can’t help but affect weekday views of women as colleagues, entrepreneurs, and peers.&quot;</i><p>And I agree! But &#x27;orgies&#x27; are not what are creating unfair societal expectations and marginalizing women. The real causes are slew of issues that start and end in everyday human activity. If you want to help marginalized women, help them where they are being marginalized every day! Not by shaming a generic amalgamation of parties that all happen to feature the lowering of inhibitions in ways that won&#x27;t get you invited back to the church social.<p>And by the way, writing an article about a bunch of people who cannot or will not give their names leaves no room for them to offer a rebuttal. This isn&#x27;t journalism, this is an op-ed hit piece.
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ImSkeptical超过 7 年前
This article makes me wonder, what, exactly, is wrong and what is supposed to be done about this. I get that it seems exploitative and probably does have consequences for social attitudes at work, but what I don&#x27;t understand is what&#x27;s to be done about this?<p>Surely there&#x27;s nothing (drug use aside) that&#x27;s legally actionable about this. The encounters seemed consensual in the sense that the women weren&#x27;t threatened or forced and were told about what the drugs offered would do.<p>If there&#x27;s not any legal wrong doing then is it social misconduct? Somehow it feels wrong for me to judge or condemn adults for their sexual conduct - even if it seems cheap, transactional, and gross to me. I understand different people have different values and preferences, so why should I apply mine to them? Furthermore, I can&#x27;t imagine that finger wagging from the likes of Vanity Fair is going to make these rich young men give up on their drug fueled sex parties.<p>It&#x27;s an interesting article, even though the author is decidedly biased and at times intentionally misleading (e.g. when she scorns the idea that there are some&#x2F;many women interested in taking advantage of men, in the middle of an article about rich nerds finding themselves suddenly with a surfeit of women). I don&#x27;t understand what is supposed to be done about this though or even if something should be aside from educating young women about the tradeoffs they may make in these environments.
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jenkstom超过 7 年前
I think there is a certain amount of denial about male sexuality. It&#x27;s like trying to change the fundamental personality traits of a child: it won&#x27;t work and will probably result in someone who is antisocial or otherwise crazy.<p>I don&#x27;t know why we can&#x27;t have a discussion about this. Possibly feminism is caught up in a narrative that is overly female-centric, which isn&#x27;t really unexpected (or entirely unreasonable). But just as feminism is reactionary to abuse by males, there are going to be reactionary elements to the desire of some feminists to suppress men in general.<p>If you think that isn&#x27;t true, do a google images search for &quot;feminist tshirts&quot;, the sixth one is a woman kneeing a man in the testicles. A simple image search on feminism points out just how much anger there is on all sides of the argument.
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trisimix超过 7 年前
Cant wait for the work of silicon valley movie
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nickthemagicman超过 7 年前
“I see a lot of men leading people on, sleeping with a dozen women at the same time. But if each of the dozen women doesn’t care, is there any crime committed? You could say it’s disgusting but not illegal—it just perpetuates a culture that keeps women down.”<p>How does it keep women down? Sleeping with a guy is a built in option women have to better their lives, that men don&#x27;t have.<p>Otherwise they&#x27;re just like the rest of us poor schmuck dudes that actually have to go into work everyday.<p>I&#x27;m so confused about what women expect these days.
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narrator超过 7 年前
The following seems to be what it&#x27;s all about:<p>&quot; Rich men expecting casual sexual access to women is anything but a new paradigm. But many of the A-listers in Silicon Valley have something unique in common: a lonely adolescence devoid of contact with the opposite sex. Married V.C. described his teenage life as years of playing computer games and not going on a date until he was 20 years old. Now, to his amazement, he finds himself in a circle of trusted and adventurous tech friends with the money and resources to explore their every desire. After years of restriction and longing, he is living a fantasy, and his wife is right there along with him.&quot;<p>If I may humblebrag for a moment, I had a really great sex life in the years before I got married when I was young and good-looking, so all this kind of stuff seems like a very risky and mildly pathetic way to create a lot of trouble in one&#x27;s personal life. Young nerds, I implore you to have a really awesome time while you are young and good-looking so you make some great memories so you won&#x27;t have to deal with all this regret and pathetic chasing around after a lost youth that these older guys engage in.
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