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Why American men are getting less marriageable

50 点作者 nitramm超过 7 年前

10 条评论

cimmanom超过 7 年前
Looking at this from another perspective:<p>As a modern woman who makes good money, I&#x27;d be comfortable in theory with marrying a man who makes far less than I do.<p>The problem with that in practice is gender roles in marriage. It&#x27;s still the norm for women to be responsible for the lion&#x27;s share of cooking, cleaning, and childrearing. Even in the marriages with the most &quot;woke&quot; husbands I see among my friends, the wife almost always ends up both doing more and spending more mental energy on the home.<p>That means that for men, marriage lightens the burden of (for lack of a better term) managing life, leaving more time and energy for career. For women it&#x27;s the opposite. This is the primary reason IMO why marriage is a good deal for both parties if the breadwinner makes more than the homemaker. It&#x27;s just that men who are willing to be the homemaker are vanishingly rare. And if both are breadwinners, almost invariably the homemaking burden falls more heavily on the wife.<p>That means that from a practical (as opposed to a romantic) perspective, marrying a man who makes significantly less than me is liable to be an enormous burden. Why would I want to support a man both economically and practically?<p>Yes, there are some men out there who would make the fair trade and do more of the homemaking if I were the primary breadwinner. There are also a bunch who say they&#x27;d be willing to do it, but aren&#x27;t aware of what that fully entails and aren&#x27;t willing to put in the emotional investment. (See [1] and [2]). There are also more of those men in younger generations in general; and the ones who exist in my generation are likely to be already married - and happily so. So I&#x27;ll stay single - and happily so.<p>The solution, in my opinion, would be to continue to erase traditional gender roles. If most of the men out there were ready to take on the homemaker role enthusiastically, I would be far more willing to consider them as partners even if they make a fraction of what I do.
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Balgair超过 7 年前
The article goes into one of the issues with masculinity, that of a Provider. However, there are two other aspects that are also critically important in the marriage markets: Protector and Procreator (the 3 P&#x27;s, in total). These aspects of manhood are fairly universal among cultures and throughout time (many excerpts have been studied, but more serve to prove the rule). It is important to remember that for most males manhood is a continually earned trait, whereas in females womanhood is largely inherent. This means that most males can &#x27;loose&#x27; manhood and return to boyhood in the eyes of society. Often this is lumped into the concept of &#x27;honor&#x27; (though things really get messy now). The article mostly focuses on the provider role and the interface with money and the decline of &#x27;blue collar&#x27; jobs. It would be instructive to also look into the roles of protector that men may not be fulfilling (due possibly to opiod use, obesity, etc) and the procreator role as well (obesity again, other environmental sterilizers, etc) to get a full view of the problems many young people are facing.<p>A good introduction on the &#x27;universal&#x27; traits of manhood can be found here: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.artofmanliness.com&#x2F;2014&#x2F;03&#x2F;31&#x2F;the-3-ps-of-manhood-a-review&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.artofmanliness.com&#x2F;2014&#x2F;03&#x2F;31&#x2F;the-3-ps-of-manhoo...</a>
Blackstone4超过 7 年前
Interesting article. It is suggesting there is a smaller supply of marriageable men.<p>On the demand side, we are also seeing more and more educated, career focused women.<p>I feel like there are many who have a desire to have children and therefore would like to marry someone who can support them. Typically this means marrying a man who earns more than you. The thing is if you&#x27;re a women, the more you earn, the smaller the marriageable pool becomes.
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xya3453超过 7 年前
This is rising equality in effect. The path to financial independence has opened up to average American women over the past 40 years. Marriage rates falling suggest that American women tend to exhibit (or feel pressured to follow) hypergamous tendencies.
pentae超过 7 年前
So if I read the article correctly, the average American male has lost his job due to economic forces as well as gender equality, but it&#x27;s also his fault and his responsibility to change. Seems fair.
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partycoder超过 7 年前
Marital status used to be a thing. Pressure to get married may not only come from your partner, but your family, friends and even strangers. Plus, divorce was frowned upon a lot and shamed. That&#x27;s not the case anymore.<p>If people want to get married, then do it. It&#x27;s not for everyone.
roenxi超过 7 年前
This is ... some very complicated intersection of economics, politics and morals. I see opinions drawn from an unorthodox sample of an unorthodox community and fixes to problems that haven&#x27;t really been defined.<p>The topic is delicate, but the comments here have, unusually, not satisfied my interest in the slightest. There is an interesting debate on something here, but the parameters of the question are poorly articulated.<p>How is a community supposed to gauge the importance of even the opening questions raised by this article? Do we care more about securing the next generation? Creating a world where women get first pick of the role they will fill? Judging the value of marriage as an institution? Whining about how men&#x2F;women have it tough?<p>The structure of families have fundamental and far reaching demographic consequences. It is important at a clash-of-civilisations level and can make or break cultures. It&#x27;d be pleasing to have a language to talk about that without resorting immediately to anecdotes and solutions.
lukeschlather超过 7 年前
&gt; They reference recent results from the World Values Survey, where respondents were asked how much they agreed with the claim that, &quot;If a woman earns more money than her husband, it&#x27;s almost certain to cause problems.&quot;<p>That sounds a bit to me like a push poll. I wonder if you phrased the question in a gender-neutral way how the responses would change.
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swiley超过 7 年前
Looking at people I know and people I&#x27;ve dated, employability seems like the least interesting thing to women.
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romanovcode超过 7 年前
I think the job&#x2F;economy weights much less then the fact that marriage gives absolutely zero benefits for men in western society and implies a lot of risks.
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