I decided to leave a PhD program a few years ago, which left me feeling some existential angst. Leaving a PhD program was a little like leaving a job, friends, and a higher calling all at the same time.<p>I restarted doing a martial art about the same time, which gave me regular socialization, exercise, and something to get good at that wasn’t coupled to my career / work identity. It was kind of a package deal.<p>I am not religious, though I’m familiar with church from childhood. I’m reminded that there are some practical downsides of not being religious. In some ways, martial art is my secular church.<p>Humans, even introverts like myself need some level of socialization to stay healthy. I’d advise anyone to find their “church” even if it’s not religious or spiritual. Some characteristics that I think make for good groups:<p>- Things happen at specific times. You don't have to plan something unless you want to. If you don’t show up, someone wonders where you are and maybe asks about you.<p>- Everyone isn’t like you. You interact with people who work different jobs, make different money, come from different cultures, and are of a different generation.<p>- It’s a regular place that can become familiar, and that you have some interest in its care<p>- The unifying task isn’t too utilitarian. It’s good to have something that improves you, but isn’t itself that important.<p>I think as a society we’ve lost the notion of personal social health in favor of a completely individualistic notion of mental health. My suspicion is that many of our mental health issues are the result of / are exacerbated by bad social health.