What a Russian Smile Means

65 点作者 dannyow将近 7 年前

12 条评论

ssambros将近 7 年前

> There is even a Russian proverb on the topic: “Smiling with no reason is a sign of stupidity.”No there is not. There is a saying that "laughter without a reason is a sign of a fool" ("смех без причины - признак дурачины"), not smiling. I doubt any American will consider unreasonable laughter to be normal.

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ClintEhrlich将近 7 年前

As an American who spent a year as a visiting researcher inside Russia's Foreign Ministry, I can confirm that these differences in decorum are very real.They are common knowledge in Russian society, and Russian diplomats are trained to take them into account when emulating Western social graces.Broadly speaking, in my experience Russians conceive of smiling as something precious, to be shared with friends or family, not wasted on strangers crossing your path. However, if you have occasion to interact with someone (e.g., asking for directions), they may smile, particularly if something about the conversation generates a feeling of closeness. I got a lot of smiles and handshakes in Moscow from strangers when they found out I was studying at MGIMO, since they (incorrectly) assumed it meant I'd snubbed Harvard or Yale.

krzyk将近 7 年前

I'm from Poland and here people don't smile like they do in USA.Don't even get me started on "How are you?", I always want to reply honestly to that, and I don't feel much obligation to reply back (I usually don't care how some stranger feels, why should I?). That's probably the hardest in learning English for me.

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usaphp将近 7 年前

I would rather look at smiling people around me, even if the smile means nothing, than looking at sad faces in Russia. Everytime I go back to visit friends I notice how grumpy and angry most people look and you become to look like that too - the more you look at them.

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salgernon将近 7 年前

I'm a US person. While going through aggressive cancer treatment and concomitant depression, I was encouraged by my caregivers to smile as much as possible to elevate my mood. They even encouraged me practice smiling while alone. N=1, but this did seem to help. It seemed to lower my stress when around other people, and I noticed that they would be smiling more too (although this may just be because I was finally noticing something that was going on around me.)Otherwise I have "resting porg face".

phyller将近 7 年前

I see the smile, in my personal slice of American culture, to be a sign that "I mean you no harm, I have positive intentions towards you", which is a valuable piece of information, both to give and receive. And truthfully, someone who is not feeling well disposed towards me and intends to make my life more difficult rarely approaches with a smile. Perhaps in Russia people are not so open about their intentions to each other and these outward indicators have less value?

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hurpaDurpa将近 7 年前

Sometimes I wonder how these sorts of cultural subtleties are compensated for, when defining a set of clinical psychological personality disorders.Cluster A (paranoia): <a href="https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personality-disorders-cluster-a/" rel="nofollow">https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personalit...</a>Cluster B (drama): <a href="https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personality-disorders-cluster-b/" rel="nofollow">https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personalit...</a>Clister C (anxiety): <a href="https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personality-disorders-cluster-c/" rel="nofollow">https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personalit...</a>Take either culture's description, and stack it next to the other, and the incompatible resolution or reconcilliation between the two certainly sounds like it could add up to any of those disorders.When you listen to the sort of discomfort and culture shock that seems implicit in these stories of adaptation, to the wrong set of ears, this all might sound like mental illness.Growing up in one place, and then living in another, only to feel the longing pangs of nostalia and familiarity for what your childhood instict defines or recognizes as normal, clash with the reality of a world turned upsidedown, feels like a recipe for being plied with medication, if you tell the wrong person.It feels like this process scaled up to millions of people, is exactly the sort of thing that drives conflict around the world.

asveikau将近 7 年前

I get tired of articles and people that put us Americans all in the same smiley "how's your day going so far?" box. Maybe the average is like that in most places, and sure you can draw contrasts to other places. But as a grumpy east coaster living out west I find it somewhat irritating too, and I know I am not alone in this.

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dsabanin将近 7 年前

As a Russian, living in America, I would suggest not to take any clues about social behavior from Russians. It's all shades of dysfunctional from the bottom to the very top.

stcredzero将近 7 年前

Even dealing with a simple “How are you?” felt complicated. People in Russia didn’t engage in this kind of social script, and to her it seemed unnecessary. Did they really want to know how she was? No.This reminds me of my younger self. I would pause and reply with an unvarnished and detailed analysis of my current status. Is it just me, or do other people think that some cultures shifted a bit on the Aspergers spectrum from other cultures? I certainly think that's the case for some subcultures.

kpil将近 7 年前

It means you're drunk.

jancsika将近 7 年前

> If she answered honestly (“I’m tired”), which is what felt most natural, she worried she’d come off as rude.I'm not understanding the word "natural" here. Would her honesty be given in a spirit of satire, confusion, fear, something else?For example, suppose in response to her saying, "I'm tired," I replied, "Now that we've established your propensity for reflexive honesty in response to unexpected questions, what is your bank account and routing number?"Would she take the joke in a spirit of playfulness, or alarm?Edit: clarification