Recently, I invited my colleagues over for a farewell dinner and inadvertently put myself in the spot, by being asked a lot of inquisitive get-to-know-me better questions such as 1) Who among us did you feel turned out the most different from what you originally expected? 2) What are the top 5 things you'll miss about leaving this place? (Mountain View, if that helps) 3)What are the top 5 things you learnt over the course of the past year? etc.<p>I had either one-word responses or some very uninteresting answers and knew I was making the conversation stilted and boring. It was pretty awkward, and there came a point when I just wanted to be put out of the misery, and just be a fly in the wall, listening in on the fun conversation that the group would have, minus me.<p>So, to all the guys who make smalltalk seem effortless, how do you guys do it? Can this be learned? Should this be learned?
You are a worthwhile and valuable person. That can be hard to remember when you want to shrink into the walls, but it is worth remembering.<p>Yes, good conversation skills should be learned. Yes, they can be learned.<p>Like most skills, it requires practice. You can hire a couch, if you want. I recommend improv comedy classes if you want a fast way to get over awkwardness and learn how to move dialogs along. But mostly getting better at talking to people involves talking and listening to a lot of people.