This is an outstanding article with life-changing insights. Everyone should read it. Certainly explains a lot of awful and baffling things I've seen and experienced.<p>Unfortunately, though it lays out the problem clearly, it doesn't present much in the way of solutions, and indeed, there may be few good ones. It may be that sex and mating is ultimately just a Kobayashi Maru, not so much to be performed successfully as with a dignified, sad grace.