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Most male managers are afraid to have one-on-one meetings with female employees

28 点作者 turtlegrids大约 6 年前

12 条评论

ve55大约 6 年前
I've noticed a similar effect in the personal dating scene from speaking with males privately, that they are more likely to avoid many scenarios that otherwise would have been standard attempts at relationship progression or initiation. That is, after performing a very rough risk/benefit analysis, they decide it's easier just to do nothing and stay single indefinitely instead.
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amflare大约 6 年前
If you play with fire, you get burned. When a simple accusation (not conviction, mind you) can end a man's career, why risk it?
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gremlinsinc大约 6 年前
A couple easy solutions.<p>1. Hire a female exec to be the liason to handle all 1:1 w&#x2F; women. 2. Record everything to ensure there can be no reporting as long as you&#x27;re truly not being a dick. 3. Bring a woman into the room, and be open that you&#x27;re wanting to be a safe space for women, then have an anonymous &#x27;suggestion&#x27; tool where they can give feedback on how you behaved, and have the same tool have a spot where people could single out others for &#x27;improvement&#x27;, and the message will ONLY be read by that individual so as not to incite fear of retaliation - but sometimes people say things off the cuff and aren&#x27;t aware it offends others.<p>I&#x27;m on the &#x27;spectrum&#x27; and filtering is sometimes hard for us. If someone says woah buddy that&#x27;s offensive, I feel shitty for a day or two about it and I don&#x27;t do it again. I appreciate when people bring things to my attention where I can change&#x2F;become better - even if it feels uncomfortable for a bit.
_bxg1大约 6 年前
The problem, from what I can tell, is that many men only understand hard rules. It used to be that if you had good intentions, you could follow a clear set of (flawed) social rules and you were &quot;safe&quot;. But there aren&#x27;t clear rules to distinguish between flirting and minor harassment; the difference isn&#x27;t based on exactly which words are said, but on understanding what another person is and isn&#x27;t feeling. Navigating those lines requires emotional intelligence, and lots of men have underdeveloped emotional intelligence, and are used to relying on do&#x27;s and don&#x27;ts in its place. In today&#x27;s climate, those people are basically navigating a mine field without a metal detector. So it&#x27;s understandable that they would just avoid the field altogether.<p>I think this is mostly a social problem - for a long time men simply weren&#x27;t taught emotional intelligence while they were growing up. There&#x27;s definitely been some progress made lately, but that doesn&#x27;t help past generations. I don&#x27;t know what the solution is for those people, but right now everyone&#x27;s talking past each other and I think it&#x27;s because this hasn&#x27;t been articulated. Can emotional nuances even really scale to professional contexts? I don&#x27;t know. Maybe. I sympathize with people who have had uncomfortable experiences within the existing set of social guidelines, but maybe what we need is a new set of rules for those settings. The fact is that there are men out there who want to do the right thing, but suddenly find its precise definition bewildering and hard to follow. If something can be done to alleviate that, it should be.<p>For the record: the above only covers men who find themselves under fire despite good intentions. There are absolutely others who consciously and systematically abuse women. Though Harvey Weinstein hasn&#x27;t been officially convicted yet, the evidence is strong that he&#x27;s one of the latter. The problem, though, is that the public conversation lumps the two categories together.
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username_taco大约 6 年前
It seems obvious to me that even the meToo moments that lived in gray areas were still the result of failed romantic connections or overt sexual comments or actions. No one is being fired or lambasted in the court of public opinion for being in the same private room and having adult conversations about work with a woman. This is not a nuanced issue - treat women professionally and like equals, don’t talk about politics or sex in the office and you’re golden. To make this more complicated than that let’s men off the hook and excuses unprofessional behavior in the workplace.
king-rat大约 6 年前
If you are a manager and &quot;afraid of what it would look like&quot; to have a 1:1 meeting with any of your employees, then you are a terrible manager. It is not a universal constant that all conversations gravitate towards sex. Just discuss what is relevant to the meeting, address the employee&#x27;s concerns, rinse, repeat. Treat all employees as individuals and assets to your team, not as potential romantic interests. It&#x27;s really not that hard to keep a professional demeanor in a 1:1 setting.
humantiy大约 6 年前
You could argue this is one benefit of open floor plan offices. Meet in the open with your employees.
dominotw大约 6 年前
can these meetings happen in room that can be recorded on camera? Seems like a simple solution.
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ptah大约 6 年前
should start &quot;almost as many male managers as female employees&quot;
funkythingsss大约 6 年前
This is what #meetoo has come to. The genders being afraid of each other. Thanks, social media. Social media just removes any and all possibilities of nuance and makes people angry
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mutzp大约 6 年前
They can do what university professors are already told to do: make sure to leave the door open.
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riccardopa大约 6 年前
I’m getting pretty sick of repeats of this ersatz story.<p>Maybe they should use their brains? (Instead of “growing some balls” I mean)