Benefits of talking to strangers

I’m in San Francisco for work and yesterday an elderly man made a comment about the heat outside of a Walgreens.<p>I didn’t really have much to do, and I really enjoy walking around San Francisco with it’s beautiful light pastel palette, rolling hills, and masonry so we walked and walked for about 3 hours.<p>I was a bit tired by the end, and his story was a bit sad at times but when we finally departed I’d learned a tremendous about one man’s life, his struggles and his triumphs.<p>I finished my night off at a little sushi joint where, unprompted, I recommended a piece of sashimi to the couple next to me I’d never had that I really enjoyed from my platter. They turned out to be engineers from Square and Amazon who hailed from Seattle and we talked about tech and the world and had a few good laughs. Maybe they’ll see this.<p>Then I wandered back to my hotel where I saw James, and Alexis who I’d met and had become pleasantly intertwined enough with that they’d invited me out with them after their shifts the night prior.<p>Finally on the elevator up to my room I briefly chatted with Ruiz, a banker in town for work.<p>I can’t recommend talking to strangers enough. Sometimes they prompt you, sometimes you prompt them, but it’s a beautiful world out there filled with billions of stories, and they all add just a little spice to life.

First, as always you get better by practicing. Second, you don&#x27;t need to be witty or spontaneous at all. You can think of a nice thing beforehand ( * ) and just use it when there is an opportunity. You can also make sure that the possible downside is low by e.g. talking when it is clear that you don&#x27;t have to spend half an hour sitting next to another in, then, awkward silence. Some sort of reason for initiating a conversation also helps, in my opinion, so that talking about something doesn&#x27;t come as much as a surprise (e.g. talking about some thing in view or an event that just happened).<p>Simple example: &quot;Your groceries look a lot healthier than mine&quot; in the queue at the super market started nice conversations for me.<p>It was clear that we&#x27;d just have stand next to each other for two minutes if the other didn&#x27;t want to engage in conversation. It was a sort of compliment (you are shopping better things that I do) and it had a at least some sort of reason (there are real goods on the conveyor belt and they differ in healthiness).<p>Oh and <i>really</i>: limiting the risk by choosing temporary situations really helps to avoid the fear of having to spend time in awkward silence if the attempt at chatting fails.<p>( * ) Just anything can work here: &quot;And I wondered whether I should bring an umbrella today&quot; to someone actually having one; &quot;Looks interesting&quot; to your neighbour at a street performance; ...

This has been the largest personal growth I&#x27;ve experienced in my lifetime and it has been a direct result of living a city that is walkable.<p>Before moving to San Francisco I hated talking to strangers and I would rarely engage in more than a few words with anyone on the street or in stores. Now I find myself cherishing small moments of conversation that occur in Ubers, on the MUNI, at communal tables in restaurants and in random interactions on the street, even with the homeless who I try my best to not ignore and treat like real people.<p>I can&#x27;t believe the difference it has made in my mood, my feelings about this city and my general mood. Like so many things in life it&#x27;s hard to know what exactly caused the shift in my behavior but it&#x27;s brought me an incredible amount of happiness and deepened my appreciation of where I live.

I find the only strangers who ever try to talk to me in public are the ones who want something. This means I&#x27;m always suspicious of people who approach me, and have an aversion to being seen as the same.

I do it all the time... on Twitter and Reddit.<p>In real life I would never even look at eyes of a stranger.<p>Probably some people here can relate.

The biggest thing I miss at my current job is interaction with people I don&#x27;t work with. When I commuted from Oakland to San Francisco I would talk to people on BART, at restaurants when I went out for lunch, and sometimes just made conversation with people on the street.<p>Now I work at a large company in the south bay. Lunch is provided and I ride my bike to work. There is basically zero chance to interact with anyone outside my workplace unless I make it happen deliberately.

I&#x27;ll believe it, the problem is I&#x27;m rarely in a situation where I&#x27;m near people and have the time to chat. The only times I&#x27;ve talked to strangers, have been, for example, when a crosswalk signal is taking an unusually long time to change. I&#x27;m normally at work or at home, and when I&#x27;m out, it&#x27;s normally to quickly grab something to return to one of the two.<p>Also it&#x27;s so much easier to strike up a conversation with one stranger rather than a group (which is what I usually encounter going out leisurely. Oddly I found the opposite with established friends &#x2F; acquaintances. I can talk and converse with a group of my now friends much better than a single friend

Many people feel invisible and ignored. Just listening to someone can be therapeutic for them.

I used to do this. Now I don’t because my online reputation is messed up, so as soon as they inevitably Google me they’ll see a terrible first page of search results. Looking for a way to free myself of this, aside from changing my uncommon name and 20 years of career history. I agree it’s all in my head and I shouldn’t let it dominate me, but I have largely given up still. Tangent, but this is the evil of a permanent record; even school kids know to fear it.

This is only welcome if you’re an attractive person. I used to do this all the time and thought I was pretty good at it but really people were just humoring me.

maybe that is only the case in chicago. I would find it immensely irritating if some stranger tried talking to me beyond &quot;hello&quot;

Wish that this is true everywhere. Unfortunately, talking to strangers is very uncommon to some cultures.

You ever sit there wanting to strike up a conversation with a random stranger, and have no idea where to begin?<p>I think that has more to do with the observed self-imposed isolation than is given credit in the article.

I&#x27;m currently building an app that enables this, but don&#x27;t have a technical background. Anyone have knowledge of BLE, GPS, iOS, and backend (including aglo dev)?<p>If so, rogertk3@gmail.com

I&#x27;ve always wanted to be that person. It&#x27;s some of those things easy to say but very hard to do when you don&#x27;t have the social skills.