Apple’s Three Laws of Developers

I like this game! I can play too. The three laws of snarky Apple critics:<p>1. A snarky Apple critic may not injure any argument against Apple, or allow, through inaction, any argument against Apple to be proven wrong.<p>2. A snarky Apple critic must do the opposite of any order given to them by Apple, except where not obeying such orders would conflict with the first law.<p>3. A snarky Apple critic must protect their own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with laws one or two.

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I personally don't care about apple very much as a company and own a few of their products. My reasoning for it was simple:<p>1) I can't use Windows. I need to be able to open an actual terminal, so Windows has never really worked for me. I don't have anything against Windows or Windows users.<p>2) I've run a number of distributions on my laptop from Gentoo and Slackware to Ubuntu and Redhat (I stopped before Fedora). I've <i>never</i> gotten good battery life, even on the most custom kernels and running only fluxbox, a shell and a web browser.<p>I need a web browser, a terminal, and a music player from a computer and good battery life. Apple/OS X does it for me, but I don't fall into the fangirl category and stay up waiting for a new iAnything to be released nor do I rag on them.<p>Is there a place for people who just use what works best for them?

The first two rules of Apple are that you talk about Apple. Constantly.

I don't understand the outrage here. The App Store is private property. The owner of that property (Apple) has the right to use that property as they see fit. Developers are also free to agree to the terms of the App Store or not. The purchasers of Apple products are also free to buy things from the App Store if they choose to.<p>How is this unfair, evil, or wrong I don't understand. Unfashionable, yes. Wrong or unfair, no.

What would the zeroth law be, then?

Am I the only one somewhat annoyed by the use of "of" instead of "for"? IMHO, it should read:<p>"Apple's three laws for developers"

implementing Asimov's three laws perfectly do not protect us from all forms of robotic governmental takeover anyway. It is possible to follow all the rules and yet still humanity into cute but ultimately useless pets.

Well we all know what happened in I,Robot ;)