This immediately reminded me of the joke about a tourist talking with an old Australian bushman. The original rambles on a bit, but the shorter version is the tourist asks if he knows any bushman remedies for chapped lips.<p>“What you do, mate,” replies the bushman, “Is lift up your horses tail, and kiss him straight on the bum.”<p>“And that fixes your chapped lips?!” exclaims the tourist.<p>“No,” replied the bushman, “But it stops you licking them.”