Don't touch me, I'm British

I flit between the UK and Turkey, and the two are both somewhere close to opposite ends on the social scale.<p>In the UK, you can walk into a pub and talk to people, providing you're not interrupting a discussion, or forcing yourself on the people in the group. It's easier if you're on your own or with one other person to join an existing group, or talk to an individual, but it's not common. You don't make eye contact on the tube in London, but you can talk to people in general outside of London, and especially up north people are more approachable. Do not touch (beyond a handshake at most), unless you're very familiar and there's a high volume of foreigners in the group.<p>In Turkey (and these are observations as an Englishman so I might be interpreting this wrong), people are extremely friendly and nosy by comparison. Turks are incredibly physical in social groups and don't really have a concept of personal space. In Istanbul women and men intermingle in some social classes and circumstances but not others. A kiss on each side of the cheek is expected when the opposite sex is involved provided you've met before. Don't be surprised if women put their arms around you, tell them their cold and want you to hug them etc. if you're in a social secular group. In more religious or formal groups, things are more separate - men will still hug each other all the time and put arms round each other but women are never touched (unless they're related or married, and not generally in public). When you go out to the country it really varies from community to community and the local culture. The further east the less intermingling with the sexes, but guys are still generally friendly with each other.<p>The biggest differences between the UK and Turkey are in going out. Turks... good god, Istanbul Turks... You go out around 8-10pm and don't come in till 5am. Getting drunk is a bit socially inappropriate (in most groups) but the party goes on all night.<p>In the UK, the party normally goes on till about midnight/2am outside, then occasionally continues back at someone's house, but will start between 5 and 8pm. In the UK, getting drunk is not only socially acceptable but expected. Unsurprisingly as the drinking continues, social rules about touching start to unravel.<p>TL:DR - It's bloody complicated in England, and changes from group to group in Turkey. Grrrrrrr!!!!

Generalizations but reasonably accurate ones <i>in my experience</i>. I find it far easier to socialize and interact with strangers in the US than in the UK. There's a certain "shock" and disbelief that can appear in the eyes of a Briton if you randomly talk to them in public. I can't blame them though, I act exactly the same way until I leave its borders! Perhaps this is why so many Brits travel and move overseas ;-)<p>An ancillary point that I've noticed over the years is the relative unpopularity of open social/discussion sites in the UK compared to the US. The UK is Facebook mad, of course, but doesn't really have a locally popular equivalent of Reddit, Hacker News, Digg, MetaFilter, etc. I wonder if the reduced desire to converse with random people has an effect in this scope too.

True dat about German nudity. I lived in Germany a few years and sang in a few choirs (one very good way to learn good pronunciation, actually) - after one concert, everybody backstage changed clothing. Together. I was about 19 at the time, and I'm from Indiana - it nearly killed me.

I've had to teach myself to touch everyone I meet (on the bottom of the elbow, or top of the shoulder), and start conversations with strangers in any situation. I've met a good number of friends this way, and if the touching is done properly and subtly enough, it can instantly create a warmth that is hard to achieve any other way.

Another rather lazy article, playing on boring stereotypes, pedestrian anecdotes and uninteresting conclusions. We're all aware of national stereotypes, and we're used to seeing lame stand up comics riff on them, however it's unusual to see the FT stoop so low.<p>If Simon Kuper (a Brit, though one with a sheltered upbringing it seems) thinks Brits are reserved and prudish, I suggest he visits Glasgow, Newcastle or indeed any city on a Friday or Saturday night. I dare say he might witness similar revelations if he were to explore other cultures further, rather than drawing on boring clichés.

Had I been aware of this in my youth, I would have cultivated a French accent and kissed every female within range, little girls, grandmothers, even pretty girls. I am sure I would have been happier.

I live in a small town (Sedona Arizona) with <i>lots</i> of international tourists, many I talk to while hiking two or three days a week on our local wilderness trails. Mostly, everyone seems to want to talk to a local, but perhaps they are just trying to be extra friendly visiting a foreign country.<p>I consciously try to be helpful with visiting tourists and suggest fun places to visit in our area. Even though I would prefer to carry a sidearm in the wilderness because of mountain lions, etc., I don't because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable: I think that people from most European countries aren't used to seeing people carry guns.<p>Here in the USA, we do seem to have interesting behavior regarding hugging friends of the opposite sex vs. same sex. At least in our circle of friends, men almost always hug friends' wives in greeting but we only hug each other on birthdays, after especially good dinner parties, etc. - mostly special occasions.

An omission would be the Chinese -- I think we are one the most repressed. Close friends never hug and conversations are always awkward in first encounters. Love is often expressed in terms of gifts and 'formal' attempts at the opposite sex, boys often chasing girls; formal in the sense that flirting doesn't happen often, instead, you 'be nice' to the girl...

Kissing (an acquaintance) in the UK happens a lot - one cheek, sometimes two. I the fact this guy was surprised says more about him than the population in general.

Yey, different countries/cultures have different traditions. Film at 11. If you want to be useful, set up a site/wiki that can describe the different traditions in different countries. <i>That</i> would be useful.

One thing you also have to know about France: the number of kisses on the cheek vary from one place to another. Check out this website: <a href="http://combiendebises.free.fr/" rel="nofollow">http://combiendebises.free.fr/</a> I come from the south (Hérault département) and now live in the suburbs of Paris. I have to remember that in Paris it's two kisses whereas in the south it's generally 3 (sometimes it's only 2). It can be really disorienting, and awkward when you make the move to do the last kiss when really it's already finished. Fun times.

I'm from Britain, live in the US with my American wife, and find it hard to recognise these behaviours in anyone I've met who is younger than middle aged.

Here's another data point. In South Africa, in black African culture (can't be more specific than this, unfortunately), it is considered polite to enquire after someone else's health when greeting: "hello, how are you". Or rather it's considered rude NOT to enquire. The standard response is "I'm fine thanks, and you?".<p>When I listened to talk radio in South Africa years ago, I remember white people calling in, and wondering why the automatic response to the phrase "hello" was often "I'm fine thanks and you".

There's this whole odd thing recently in New York where people in Manhattan want to do the French air kissing on the cheeks thing. You never quite know who is going to do it, and what the proper response is, and being from Texas its all rather awkward. There are no hard and fast rules anymore, people pick things up from movies and travel.

The author writes, "Americans hug friends of the opposite sex, but during this hug only their shoulders touch, and participants end by rubbing each other’s backs as proof that the hug was nonsexual."<p>This is so true. There are 3 types of hugs: the sideways hug (as the author mentions), the "A" hug where just the tops of the bodies meet, and the full on bear hug. If you get an "A" hug after a date, that's not a good sign. ;-)

Men and women in Western cultures routinely[0] shake hands to introduce themselves. That defiantly counts as touching. Somehow the author managed to forget this.<p>[0] Mike Arrington being an exception. <a href="http://techcrunch.com/2009/05/09/hand-shaking-is-so-medieval-lets-end-it/" rel="nofollow">http://techcrunch.com/2009/05/09/hand-shaking-is-so-medieval...</a>

If only the French would respect this. I don't want to go around kissing every acquantance I make. Seems like a guaranteed way to spread germs. Yet when you go to France you're almost forced to do this - last time I was there I really did want to say 'don't touch me, I'm British.' Except I would need to say it in every separate encounter. Only solution would be to stay there long enough to cultivate an effective 'miss me with that shit' demeanor/manner.

I can't really agree with this article. I moved from the Netherlands to the UK, and I was surprised to notice that any Brit who you've met before at least once will give you a hug the next time they meet you. In the Netherlands hugs are reserved for very close friends and family.<p>Also, I've had people talk to me on the bus, in the queue in Tesco, etc. Quite unusual to me as well.

I always found it strange to shake a woman's hand when meeting. In Brazil they kiss on two cheeks, which seems more natural to me. Guys always shake hands.<p>If she's a gf/wife/friend of a friend, I'm not about to enter into a business negotiation with this woman, so why shake hands.

&#62; In France, a kiss from a pretty acquaintance can generate a frisson<p>Isn't that true of most places?

I'd just like to point out that the phrase "skinny dipping" originated in America. We also shake hands with strangers. So, at the least, the getting naked and touching claims are questionable.

I'm surprised by the eye contact comment. As a brit, I definitely rate eye contact.

Complete and utter bollocks.