Walmart called on regulators to do the dirty work of controlling how Target negotiates the sale of shelf space within its walls.<p>“As one of the largest retailers in the world, making billions each year in profit, it’s unconscionable if we sat by not calling out others for doing the same.”<p>Walmart continued, “It’s imperative that we sully our competitions brand to make gains in the financial markets. Without state backed protectionism for large enterprises, us Barons are really just being hung out to dry.”<p>Walmart has continued to profit mightily, but it says the complaint is predicated on the fact they could be profiting MORE if someone forced Target to behave more like the rest of the majority.<p>When asked if Walmart had considered rebuilding its own image to gain business, there was a pause, before the conversation returned to targeting Target.<p>Walmart blew of criticism it’s used the market to wipe out competition in the past. When asked why they simply don’t do that to Target they replied, “Target is too big financially. So we need a bigger bully they can’t damage in return to stand up for us gritty, ruggedly individual elites. It’s the story of humanity to build government that’s coddles and pampers a privileged minority. It should be no different now.”<p>When it was suggested the public should advocate for dissolution of middlemen landlords in general, rather than drag the public courts through a pissing contest between blowhards, and stop wasting its precious time resource arbitrating the concerns of petty rich guys, the room laughed.