We Rewrote Everything in Rust, and Our Startup Still Failed

&quot;Had we had more funding, we would have taken the time to rewrite our app in Haskell instead.&quot;<p>Salty...

I can&#x27;t believe they didn&#x27;t use Kubernetes for deployment. What a bunch of amateurs - no wonder their product failed.

Great satire. But I have seen teams of incredible engineers doing amazing things perfectly and still go out of business because its not how amazing your engineering is, it&#x27;s how amazing your product or service is to people who are willing to pay (or someone is willing to pay you).

&gt; We pushed back the launch for two months to tweak our build system to perfection<p>That line got me

Publishing this on Google Docs is so passe, clearly should be on Substack or Ghost

I realize this is a joke, but regardless these days you basically need to spend ~25% of each year rewriting your app just to stay in security compliance.

&gt;Had we had more funding, we would have taken the time to rewrite our app in Haskell instead.<p>So close yet so far. Given the funding you need to rewrite your app in BOTH Haskell and Rust. Then depending on which one is in favor at launch time you go with that and never mention the other one. Then you look like a prophetic genius company no matter which way the market turns.

<i>&quot;Due to heavy traffic in this file, we are loading a read-only version&quot;</i><p>Does that mean it was shared read-write?

This is the best part: &quot;We rewrote our microservices from Node to Go to C++ and then back to Node.&quot;

&gt; The team brainstormed ideas for what we would like to build, and set to work.<p>This deserves its own chapter.

If we take this satire more seriously then it&#x27;s meant, which was the biggest mistake?<p>Lack of market research right? They should at the very least have done it post launch. Maybe more pre launch too?<p>I think many of the other ones might have been survivable?

satire is missing from the title.

Everyone knows that successful startups uses only Java or PHP

If only it were satire...

It turns out that the startup was a hemp farm. The founders never communicated the vision with the developers and just let them run loose to see what they&#x27;d do.

I get that this is satire, but leave Rust out of it. Rust is blameless when it comes to bad business ideas and execution.<p>You shouldn&#x27;t be scaring people away from a language that offers so much. Rust is not hard like all the dumb memes make it out to be. For startups where performance is vital (media, streaming), I&#x27;d argue it&#x27;ll be indispensable [1].<p>The Rust bullying harms our community. We don&#x27;t have the corporate backing of Go. Pick on something from Google or Apple instead.<p>[1] I wrote my media-intensive webapp, <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;vo.codes" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;vo.codes</a>, in Rust and I&#x27;m quite productive.

Everything about this screams satire, except it just doesn&#x27;t have the typical humour element (to me at least), so I&#x27;m not even sure now.

mirror at <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;outline.com&#x2F;yr7ZBS" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;outline.com&#x2F;yr7ZBS</a>

Brilliant write up! Made me laugh a lot, especially the end with Haskell :)

Link goes to a google docs login page. No wonder they failed^^

&#x27;...Our incredible journey...&#x27;<p>I hope they were thinking of <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;ourincrediblejourney.tumblr.com&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;ourincrediblejourney.tumblr.com&#x2F;</a> when they wrote this!

Should of rewrote in Clojure.