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The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

359 点作者 sebwi超过 4 年前

37 条评论

yourabstraction超过 4 年前
Everyone is talking about shifting time around by doing things like getting up earlier, but that doesn&#x27;t get around a fundamental problem of not enjoying the working part of your day. You still have the same amount of time, just shifted to a different end, and maybe you&#x27;re a bit better off that way, but it&#x27;s still the minority of the day.<p>The real solution is to figure out how to love a larger percentage of your day. A lot of this has to do with cultivating the right attitude and not getting exploited by others. At work, don&#x27;t allow your employer to work you to the bone; work at a steady and enjoyable pace, take lots of breaks to socialize with colleagues, get coffee, go for walks, eat a long lunch in the park, etc.<p>I get that some of you have draconian bosses and this won&#x27;t work, but there are many on here that it will work for that aren&#x27;t taking advantage of it. I also bet you might find that you start doing better work, because you feel better and have more creative energy and mental stamina. Now, you have to figure out how to enjoy other parts of your day too. What about that crappy commute, can you move closer and bike or walk in?<p>I&#x27;ve lived the majority of my life (mid 30s now) waiting for &quot;my time&quot;. I remember growing up I just loved to lay in bed at night and think. This was well before smartphones, I&#x27;d literally just lay there and think for hours, because that was the most &quot;my time&quot; of the whole day and I loved it. But as I&#x27;ve gotten older I&#x27;ve realized the entire day is my time and it&#x27;s my responsibility to make it as enjoyable as I can.
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otikik超过 4 年前
No mention of how to get out of this unhealthy habit.<p>I&#x27;m struggling with this myself. Some of my conclusions so far:<p>* When I am sleep-deprived I am less productive. So I spend more time doing &quot;work&quot;. Then I have less time for everything else I want to do (family, cooking, sport). So I take more time away from sleep. And the cycle repeats. Sleep deprivation is self-perpetuating.<p>* What I do at night, when I am exhausted, in 2 hours can be done in the morning in half an hour.<p>* I get angrier and negative much more easily when I am sleep deprived.<p>For my particular case: limit the time dedicated to &quot;work&quot; and do the other things in the time it is usually dedicated to it. Stay away from screens past 11. Listen to ebooks for falling asleep. Use the good sleep energy to finish work stuff earlier, do more exercise, etc. Break out of the vicious cycle and start a virtuous one.<p>I still fail at doing it from time to time. I think this must feel similar to what relapsing alcoholics feel. I try to not be too hard on myself and keep trying.
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throwawayyipyip超过 4 年前
It may raise eyebrows, but with the current WFH culture, I simply take naps during work time. If I feel tired, then it&#x27;s in my and my employers&#x27; best interest for me to nap since I will be much more productive for the next few hours.<p>I&#x27;ve tested this also by not sleeping, and my code becomes worse and I need to rewrite a lot of it anyway.<p>In fairness, I do try to go to bed on time, but my issue is that I sometimes only sleep 5 to 6 hours. My body just won&#x27;t sleep, so I make up for it during work time.<p>It is what it is.
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coldtea超过 4 年前
&gt;<i>“I was almost depressed,” she says. “I was deprived of all my personal life.” After her shift, which sometimes included overtime, she had a small window to eat, shower and go to bed – but she sacrificed sleep to eke out some personal time. Often, Rao would stay up surfing the internet, reading the news and watching online videos until well after midnight.</i><p>Same here. There&#x27;s not much &quot;psychology&quot; mystery to it, humans are not robots, we need some fun&#x2F;me&#x2F;entertainment&#x2F;wind-down&#x2F;-time, not just to sleep, work, and eat.
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ramshorns超过 4 年前
Of course, what&#x27;s actually not good for you is having to work twelve hours a day. Leisure time isn&#x27;t the problem.
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dusted超过 4 年前
I&#x27;m also doing this, big time.. Between a full-time job, building a new home, renovating another and having a wife and kid, there&#x27;s not any &quot;me&quot; time until past wife+kids bedtime.<p>I only get energy from being alone and doing stuff on my computer, so I trade sleep for time every night.
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Al-Khwarizmi超过 4 年前
As someone with a demanding job that often takes the whole day (plus now, a kid) I do this very often. I didn&#x27;t even know it had a name.<p>The piece seems to imply it&#x27;s a wrong choice, because it would be better to just go to sleep. Maybe in many cases it is. For me, that&#x27;s not the case, because if I don&#x27;t get some &quot;me time&quot;, I just can&#x27;t sleep well. I&#x27;d rather go to bed at 1:30 and sleep well than go at 12 and spend two hours rolling in the bed because I&#x27;m still thinking about work and haven&#x27;t had time to &quot;unwind&quot; my mind. So I don&#x27;t think it&#x27;s a bad decision, and it doesn&#x27;t feel like &quot;revenge&quot; either, just some needed personal upkeep time (like sleeping itself).<p>Of course, I know it would be best to remove the stress, so as to have time both for myself and sleep and not have to choose the lesser of two evils... easier said than done, though.
Sharlin超过 4 年前
I mean, &quot;me time&quot; is not optional. How can life even be worth living if it&#x27;s just a cycle of work and sleep?
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strangegecko超过 4 年前
I follow a similar pattern, but a major component for me is anhedonia &#x2F; depression. I don&#x27;t have anything in my life that is fulfilling or exciting or fun. I delay going to bed, both hoping to suddenly feel that spark of excitement for something, and feeling reluctant to go to bed in this unsatisified state.
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xhrpost超过 4 年前
I struggle with this a lot and have been wondering recently what it is that causes it, so it&#x27;s refreshing seeing such an article today and knowing it&#x27;s not just me.<p>Seems that my hunch is at least somewhat correct, that I just want more &quot;me time&quot;. I feel a bit bad in that I don&#x27;t have a tough 12hr schedule like some but still exhibit this behavior. I think its partially due to the fact that a lot of other things I do outside of work, my mind doesn&#x27;t perceive as restful&#x2F;me-time. Ex. I enjoy running, but exercise still feels like an obligation more than a privilege. Combine that with other social&#x2F;communal obligations and certain errands and a lot of my non-work time ends up being for fulfilling the demands of some other authority concept.<p>Then, I&#x27;ve let my hobbies wane over the years (especially in terms of what I can do inside during Covid) so the easiest thing I go to is just scrolling on my phone. Which feels like its for me but is ultimately really draining.<p>Trying a couple approaches to this. 1.) Anything BUT mindless browsing. Seriously, no guilt even if it&#x27;s just a show on Netflix, buying one item at the store even though I &quot;should&quot; just batch shop, whatever as long as its self directed. 2.) Eek out that time and make it a priority, while still prioritizing sleep. Allow certain tasks that I &quot;should&quot; get done today to push out.
umvi超过 4 年前
I find myself doing this too. My kids put such a large constraint on my free time that between work and family I only have 3 hours or less per day to do everything, so I am tempted to sacrifice sleep to gain a bit more book reading, side project, or video game time.
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anonymousDan超过 4 年前
As a way of breaking this cycle, I&#x27;ve recently been considering going to bed earlier (e.g. 9-10pm), and then getting up at 5-6am, BUT with the proviso I can do whatever I want between 5 and 8, with no pressure to be productive (e.g. binge on Netflix for 3 hours). I just need to convince my wife to do the same :) Has anyone tried something like this?
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duxup超过 4 年前
I used to work tech support Midnight to 8am.<p>I&#x27;d get home exhausted ... but I honestly couldn&#x27;t sleep unless I did some &#x27;non work&#x27; a game or something at home away from work. I didn&#x27;t feel stressed by work or anything, it was a great job with great people.... I just felt driven to do something ELSE no matter how tired I was.
drewcon超过 4 年前
Sounds like they&#x27;re just behaving like parents with young kids.<p>I routinely stay up too late just to have some quiet, waking conscious alone time after a full day of work and time with the kids (which are now hopelessly intertwined).
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hvs超过 4 年前
I bet this is pretty common among parents during the pandemic. Between homeschooling&#x2F;work, the only time a lot of have is late at night.
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baxtr超过 4 年前
This is exactly what Netflix is betting on.<p><i>” Not Amazon Video, not YouTube, not even old-fashioned broadcasters. No, according to the company&#x27;s chief executive, Reed Hastings, Netflix&#x27;s biggest competitor is the pesky human need to close your eyes and sleep for a third of the day.”</i><p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.theguardian.com&#x2F;technology&#x2F;2017&#x2F;apr&#x2F;18&#x2F;netflix-competitor-sleep-uber-facebook" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.theguardian.com&#x2F;technology&#x2F;2017&#x2F;apr&#x2F;18&#x2F;netflix-c...</a>
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nonbirithm超过 4 年前
&gt; In Matthew Walker’s book Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, the neuroscientist is blunt: “The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life span.”<p>I find it sad that people are still quoting this book. Many claims in this book have been debunked online[0]. The misinformation may even cause people to get too much sleep causing different kinds of issues.<p>As for me, this has caused me to come back with an impression of &quot;we don&#x27;t really know why we sleep.&quot; I wish there was a definitive source of information on this as popular as this book, but which is actually reputable. Now I just end up doubting my sleep patterns, waking up naturally and still being left unsure why I feel tired.<p>[0] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;guzey.com&#x2F;books&#x2F;why-we-sleep&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;guzey.com&#x2F;books&#x2F;why-we-sleep&#x2F;</a>
Ciantic超过 4 年前
What would happen if she, or like minded people decided to demand eight-hour day in workplaces? (Like the Eight-hour day movement during industrialising Britain and elsewhere)<p>Is there any way for them to even make demands without being squashed?
rootusrootus超过 4 年前
Not that my situation is anywhere near as dire as a worker on the 996 plan in China, but I do a similar tradeoff. During work I also help the kids get through their school day, so my workday gets a bit longer, then after that I have my own schooling in the evening, and then there&#x27;s no time left. So I steal it from sleep time or else I get nothing at all.<p>Can&#x27;t tell you how much I look forward to 1) being done with OMSCS, and 2) the pandemic ending and the kids going back to in-person school. Never going to complain about teacher salaries again (not that I really ever did, but still...)
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cbanek超过 4 年前
“One of the most important parts of recovery from work is sleep. However, sleep is affected by how well we detach,”<p>This. Plus, I have done this in the past and found that it just takes time to wind down after working, no matter how tired I am. It&#x27;s at least 3 hours for me. It seems more the problem is there aren&#x27;t enough hours in the day to work that much. But sadly, that rarely changes, and if I prioritize work over life, it will simply take over.
crispyambulance超过 4 年前
I&#x27;ve found it helpful to wake up at the same (early) time everyday no matter what and then rely on my body to &quot;tell me&quot; when it&#x27;s time for sleep. This keeps me lined up on a steady circadian rhythm. If it gets disrupted, that&#x27;s OK, it snaps back in day or two as long as I stick to the same wake-up time.<p>It&#x27;s much harder to do this with a prescribed &quot;bed time&quot; if you&#x27;re not ready, it&#x27;s really hard to sleep.
scott_s超过 4 年前
<i>I&#x27;m not ready for it to be morning yet.</i> That&#x27;s what I would think during my early days of graduate school, when I would spend over 12 hours a day on campus, juggling courses, course work, my first foray into research, as well as teaching assistant responsibilities. At night, I would often just listen to music and do some light internet browsing for an hour or two, despite being tired.
davebryand超过 4 年前
That this is needed in one’s life is a sign that you are probably wasting your life.
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anigbrowl超过 4 年前
Can we have an article about the psychology of wringing your employees dry and pretending that 72 hour weeks are a normal or reasonable thing?<p>While China is nominally communist (insofar as all other political parties are banned) in practice the economy there is based on hypercapitalism coupled with industrial policy and strict regulation; it&#x27;s very apparent that workers have little to no &#x27;control over the means of production&#x27; or any kind of ownership or autonomy within their workplace. It&#x27;s &#x27;communist&#x27; in the same way that North Korea is &#x27;democratic&#x27; - the political ideology just decorates an authoritarian power structure and has little to do with the everyday life of the population.
JSavageOne超过 4 年前
I don&#x27;t think it takes a PhD in psychology to recognize that people like to live their own lives and not just commute to&#x2F;from office, eat, shower, repeat, fast forward 40 years, and die.
a4444f超过 4 年前
&quot;Many Chinese prioritise long work days over leisure time or sleep – even though they know it’s unhealthy. What’s driving this behaviour?&quot;<p>Some typos in the summary, fixed.
emptyparadise超过 4 年前
I always find myself drifting towards night hours. I really wish I could shift my schedule by around 4 hours, starting and ending my day later.
fogetti超过 4 年前
&gt; But she does advise employees to talk to their colleagues and collectively approach their boss, with evidence, if they want to ask for change.<p>Yeah, because that isn&#x27;t what the labor unions are for, am I right?<p>I guess people enjoy living in today&#x27;s neloiberal utopian nightmare rather than supporting labor rights and labor unions.
dandare超过 4 年前
&quot;Privileged&quot; European here: it is totally beyond me how can anyone be any productive on a 996 schedule. I can&#x27;t write code for more than 4-6 hours a day, 5 days per week. I would probably not be a good programmer if I was born in China.
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blunte超过 4 年前
Oh my god. I never knew this had a name, but it very much fits my behavior. I crave solitude and control over my own time and attention, and the only time to get that is while the rest of my timezone sleeps.
darepublic超过 4 年前
Interesting article and it definitely resonates. It&#x27;s cool when a private thought is given a name and illuminated by someone else. Biggest instance of that for me was the whole ASMR movement.
peletiah超过 4 年前
As a parent I can relate...
oxfeed65261超过 4 年前
Glad I’m not alone in having immediately assumed that the title referred to children. FYI for toddler-parents: it gets worse before it gets better. Then you give up and all is bliss.
sjg007超过 4 年前
Here’s how you fix this. Go to bed early and wake up earlier. I do honestly believe that young adults naturally stay up later though. I think there’s an evolutionary reason for it, basically to keep the nights watch and ward off predators.
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bjarneh超过 4 年前
&gt; Many young Chinese workers prioritise leisure time over sleep after long work days<p>I have to admit, I&#x27;m like the young Chinese
b0rsuk超过 4 年前
In my last job, boss would pretty often come up with something important to do near the end of my shift. Watch out for that. How do you deal when your employer (it was a small company) engages with you personally when your shift is coming to an end? Discussing, planning, that sort of thing. I could set my borders with others well enough, but at workplace it&#x27;s a delicate thing.
underseacables超过 4 年前
It’s interesting the use of the aggressive language “revenge“ And “retaliatory” which seems to have a negative charge. I wonder if it is due to the culture of China, its communist leaning, or something deeper that looks at personal leisure time as a bad thing.
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