You don't get shit you don't ask for

Great advice! Some people can be a bit shy about asking for things, so I suggest you practice.<p>For example, I was recently at a reception which included a fixed menu dinner. For the non-native speakers, a fixed menu means that you don't order your meal, they just bring it to you. A waiter was walking around to each of the many tables, quietly filling glasses of red wine. Red wine makes me sleepy, so I asked for a beer.<p>A few minutes later, someone at my table asked me "How did you get a beer?"<p>I said "Um, I ordered it..."<p>"Oh? We can do that?"<p>"We're at a restaurant, he's a waiter. I asked and he didn't say no. So, ugh, yeah. We can do that."<p>That tiny unfamiliarity of a fixed menu and an automatically filled wine glass undid a lifetime of training on how to order things at restaurants.<p>You've got to ask for things, even if it feels unnatural or uncomfortable!

This reminds me of the "Asker vs Guesser" culture comparison: <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/08/change-life-asker-guesser" rel="nofollow">http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/08/change-li...</a>

The article's bullet points are great, but I would emphasize one thing:<p>Don't be afraid to ask, but only AFTER YOU'VE DONE YOUR HOMEWORK. People can be surprisingly helpful, but especially if it's clear you're working hard to make each request count. They're much less likely to think you're wasting their time if it's clear you've been hustling and see their help as a catalyst for you working EVEN HARDER.

The comments on the article directly quickly go into specifically not abusing VCs, they are very busy etc but I think they are missing out on the larger picture here that I am taking away from this story. No one is looking out for my best interests and if I need something or want something the best opportunity I have to get that is to ask.

Excellent post, but I wouldn't have distilled quite the same catch phrase -- "You don't get shit you don't ask for" -- from that anecdote. It's more like, "When someone offers you help, take them up on it."

Good read. I had been sitting on an email for a few weeks to a possible business partner because I didn't want to look like a moron that doesn't know how things work (I am said moron). I just pressed send.

Yes and no. There are some people who make a living asking 100 people a day, and banking on the five people who say yes. Then others are fortunate enough to have customers, investors and interested parties knocking on their door -- simply because they've made something really interesting. These people often get things <i>without</i> asking. And if you are bad at asking -- it's better to be one of those people.

When leading my sales team, I always asked them to do two things clearly.<p>1. State clearly why they were there<p>2. State clearly what they needed.<p>Jason's note had two statements that did exactly that.<p>ONE &#62;&#62;Right now, we're preparing for the PhoCusRight conference next week, the travel industry's largest get together. We're trying to make some connections with people at the conference.<p>TWO &#62;&#62;Can you help us connect with leaders in the Business Travel divisions of Expedia or Orbitz? Or any other introduction that you feel would help us?<p>Remember without those two simple points, you are wasting yours and other peoples time. And then they wonder (very LA indeed) "And you are wasting my time because?" - which is the last thing anyone should be thinking.

Good article, but it's "root" and "rooting" not "rout" and "routing." Somewhat hilarious reversal of meaning via that typo.

So nobody else is offended by the title? I don't take advice from people who talk dumb shit.

"You should never ask anyone for anything. Never- and especially from those who are more powerful than yourself."<p>— Mikhail Bulgakov (The Master and Margarita)

Reminds me of "All you have to do is ask" by James Altucher: <a href="http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/05/all-you-have-to-do-is-ask/" rel="nofollow">http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/05/all-you-have-to-do-is-a...</a>

It's true. Ask for what you want in this world, it will usually not be offered.<p>I've had to get over my own personal shyness to help promote and market our startup (<a href="http://infostripe.com" rel="nofollow">http://infostripe.com</a>) and at times it's been difficult to just ask for help, opinion and testers. But when I do it's always quite rewarding.<p>Ask, speak your mind, be reasonable and the things you want are obtainable.

Wow. Perfect timing on this. I've been struggling to develop a mindset like this when looking for a job. It's difficult, but you must not underestimate the value of a connection, regardless of the initial interaction (i.e. it's better to receive a "no" and be recognized than not known at all).

Inaccurate. I frequently get things that I don't ask for. Also, asking for things inappropriately is a great way to annoy people.

This is good advice. On a first date, after introductions, I present a brief presentation slideshow to the prospective mate where I lay out a dating schedule in Gantt format denoting dates, first kisses, sex and falling in love, including sexual position diagrams. For a personal touch, copy-and-paste both your Facebook profile photos onto the people in the diagrams.

Wrong. If you have something people want, they'll force money on you. Make something people want. People are so naive, like they've never seen "Soup Nazi" episode of Seinfeld.