Managing your boss: adjusting to narcissists, 'ghosts,' gaslighters

<p><pre><code> Q: What if you find yourself in a truly toxic work environment? A: My advice is to get out if you can. Toxic situations make you emotionally and physically sick. It can take years to recover. Have a good support network in place, limit your exposure with that toxic boss and stay under the radar. Adopt a survivor mentality until you can get out. </code></pre> Yes, this sounds obvious, but at my last job I could have really used somebody telling me as much.

This article is useless and gives no real advice except &quot;get out&quot;. To deal with abusers you have to learn to see tricks they use to emotionally destabilize their victims. For example, they can use hints and innuendos for intimidation. I wrote a blog post about such communication <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;dandanua.github.io&#x2F;posts&#x2F;counterfactual-communication-and-intimidation&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;dandanua.github.io&#x2F;posts&#x2F;counterfactual-communicatio...</a><p>Also, you can&#x27;t really &quot;manage&quot; your boss if he&#x2F;she is gaslighting you. This is a criminal offense (or should be, depending on where you live) and must be punished accordingly.

I have two relevant, maybe slightly more helpful, links:<p><i>Getting Things Done When You’re Only a Grunt</i><p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.joelonsoftware.com&#x2F;2001&#x2F;12&#x2F;25&#x2F;getting-things-done-when-youre-only-a-grunt&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.joelonsoftware.com&#x2F;2001&#x2F;12&#x2F;25&#x2F;getting-things-don...</a><p><i>The Manager FAQ</i><p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.seebs.net&#x2F;faqs&#x2F;manager.html" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.seebs.net&#x2F;faqs&#x2F;manager.html</a>

Have many people had toxic bosses? I&#x27;ve had a string of the opposite - tech guys that took on team lead roles but would rather code, were too meek to give direction, didn&#x27;t give any negative feedback even when I knew I did something badly, let people do what they wanted with little coordination.

Yes, managing up is a thing. No, the article did not provide any value.

Is this article an add for Careerstone? Why do Reuters write this? There is just gossip and phrenology like personality types without the sculls.

This read like a really shitty, saccharine, abridged, disjointed article. It barely touched on its title. How did this get to the front page?

I have seen at least 1 narcissist move up the ranks of a well regarded organization and receive awards in the process.<p>I also see the person is hardworking and from what i can tell, there is no obvious abuse.<p>Is this not the experience people have with narcissists?<p>From the company&#x27;s perspective, they seem like ideal employees, driven to impress at whatever personal cost, and deriving their self worth by what others think of them.<p>Do i have this right?

This is a very week article; there is nothing specific in it about managing your boss. This only mentions that the concept exists.<p>This is clickbait.

While I think most people should probably leave a toxic environment, it fixes nothing. If boss is bad, it&#x27;s the best advice though! You must give energy to what works for you, then shelter is possible in any environment.

A book recommendation: <i>Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work</i> by Babiak. Lots of good material on recognizing the situation. But once you do, the advice is simple: get out.

Important topic that should be discussed more so employees can truly succeed, regardless of their reporting chain.<p>Unfortunately this article didn&#x27;t really deliver, and lacked substance for me.

&gt; Adopt a survivor mentality<p>What does that even mean. Somehow I feel the article doesn&#x27;t speak about the title&#x27;s content at all.

For a delightful, humorous take on the subject, I would recommend reading: &quot;Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up&quot; by Stanley Bing.

I feel like &quot;gaslighting&quot; and &quot;Gell-Mann Amnesia Effect&quot; are in a race to see who can gossip their away around the world first.<p>As I understand it, &quot;gaslighting&quot; is quite nearly a form of kidnapping. The perpetrator is (consciously or otherwise) fucking with anything they can that provides the victim an anchor on reality. Cult leaders use this tactic all the time.<p>Does it mean something else now?