One of things I have realised as I got older is that you have to manage your empathy just as much as you manage your anger or other emotions.<p>A lot of our political differences come down to who gets empathy and when (police brutality, benefits and entitlement, wars etc).<p>The same is true at a personal level, it is incumbent on me to show empathy for others even when I don't feel like it. Simultaneously I have to limit my empathy as in some circumstances it is harmful to me and others (some situations call for tough love at the very least).<p>Instead, people view empathy as something to be learned (I think it's innate but people surpress it), something that is always good (it's not, it can harm its possessor), as a quality women have more of than men (no, different people just surpress it more or less) etc.