I think it's a highly personal situation, and depends a great deal on the couple. Some people actually enjoy working together - I don't think I would (I'd rather hear what my wife did at work that has nothing to do with my job), and the 'hedging' aspect of someone with a steady job isn't a bad thing, either.<p>I've tried to get my wife to read as many of the really good articles as possible - some of PG's stuff... I tried to get her to read 'founders at work', but have yet to succeed. It would be a great book though.<p>It also depends on other things like where you are (kids? now? how many years from now?), what she does, what she wants to do, what kind of life she wants to live, what your ideas and her ideas are about how long it will be before you make money.<p>I think the best thing is to talk all those things over thoroughly.<p>In terms of "attaining your goals in life", though, I know that having met and married my wife is higher up there than anything else, and I always try and keep that in mind.
If you're asking this here, I'd say don't do it. Don't presume you have to go for it, especially right now. Keep in mind she may take on about as much of the risks and downside as you do without the personal satisfaction you get out of it.<p>Colin Powell may not be President of the US right now simply because his wife is not up for it it. But even though he could push her into battle or steamroll her, he doesn't. Just shows that he's a smart guy and model husband -- two traits not often combined in presidents, as it so happens.
Well... there's a broad spectrum of startup "types" - everything from "supplement my income, maybe replace it in the future" to full bore "VC funded, have to grow like cancer or we'll die".<p>If your idea fits in the the former class of startup convincing a spouse should theoretically be fairly easy - just set boundaries on time spent on your idea and make sure she gets plenty of time too; but I can't speak from experience here.<p>If your idea is closer to the latter or anything like a "typical" startup, good luck. An environment like that is going to be hard on _everybody_ in any close relationship with you. In my last startup, one of my employee's marriage came very close to failing due to the pressure... and he wasn't nearly doing the hours that the founders were doing.<p>Are you sure you'd want to do that to your wife?
If you really want to do it, all you should need to do is make sure she knows that you can't be happy without pursuing your dreams. Your spouse should want that for you, and should be on board, no matter what the sacrifice. <p>It helps, though, to give something back for her dreams. Marriages are partnerships, after all.
How long have you been married?<p>Is your wife employed and does she have a stable career? <p>Do you have kids? <p>Do you have a modest lifestyle that can sustain long periods of no income? <p>Does your family have health insurance? <p>Has your wife had any exposure to the entrepreneurial culture -- i.e. have her brother/sister/father/mother been a company founder?
dude, if you cant convince the one who decided to spend the rest of her life with you, how are you going to convince people who dont know you to invest in your company?<p>
Include the wife as a co-founder? :) I am trying that, and the biggest advantage I can see is that our interests and intentions are more aligned than can be with other co-founders.
"Let"? That kind of pre-existing power disparity already says it's doomed.<p>You need all your support systems Go For Launch or it's a no go. They all need to be behind you, pushing you FORWARD.
It's a super tough thing. I think the startup founder with a successful marriage and a successful startup is the rare exception. They're both full-time commitments and one almost always loses the battle for attention.<p>Tom Leykis (much hated LA "shock jock") advises (paraphrasing): <i>Do not get married until you've achieved your dream in life.</i><p>I think that's good advice to take, even if it's tough thing to face. I haven't see much evidence to contradict it.
<i>'... convincing wives to let their husbands become entrepreneurs? ...'</i>
<p>Find the union of where your expertise domain overlap and complement and work towards an idea from there. Think SixApart (coder, designer ~ blog tools), Fastgraph (coder, game designer ~ games & engine development tools), Flickr (visual design, communication skills) . Lots of startups have spouses in them. It's a matter of finding and aligning skillsets,
So my experience from doing a startup.
It depends on the wife/girl.
- If they are confident and not risk adverse its OK. My gf practically told me to go get a life and challenge yourself or i'm going to dump you b/c you are clearly doing nothing in your current corporate job. She is still a student though, and there are no family considerations.
- other significant others in the team required more convincing, but most saw how 'serious' their loved one was about it and initially opposed it but eventually said ok.<p>this is really different from a kid/house situation though. i think there is a different level of responsibility if you have others depending on you for financial security. I think then its really a decision between you and your wife that you sit down and discuss. In geneneral though, you want to sell the story and back it up w/ action.
"Let"? As in .. you have to ask?<p>Be "the man." Take "the risk." She will follow you. (Otherwise, dump her.)<p>Also, read "The Way of the Superior Man" (and/or other books) by David Deida. It will be one of the better investments you will make in your life.<p>PS. There's a reason San Francisco's dead-last in (_heterosexual_) sex, young children and babies per capita:
(Hint: can be elucidated from the following article)
<a href="http://digg.com/offbeat_news/No_Sex_Tonight_2" rel="nofollow">http://digg.com/offbeat_news/No_Sex_Tonight_2</a>